CCW Beginner Stories - Humor, please!

[p35]

I was at the mall one night and ran into a friend and his wife. She decides to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I can't complain about that, but I'm probably 10" taller than she is and have a Hi-Power in the back of my pants, right where her hand is going if she puts her arms around my waist. Thinking fast, I reach out and get my arm under hers so her hand goes on my shoulder instead. Problem averted and none the wiser.

 

[Snap]

My only funny one was getting made by a date. Hugged me with an arm around my waist (came from the side, couldn't get my arm underneath it) and felt the rather large Beretta on my hip. "What's...is that your gun?" (She'd seen it on my kitchen table one night.) I informed her that yes, it was and to be quiet about it, seeing as we were in a park at the time. She asked how often I wore it, and remarked that she hadn't noticed it anytime before. I proudly informed her that I didn't think she'd ever seen me UNarmed. This was probably a fifth or sixth date. Many deft movements and go-under-her-arm hugs had paid off. Needless to say, she was surprised that she'd never noticed the two pound chunk of steel on my hip anytime before.

 

[spooney]

I had a girl back to my house one night, an old friend, we had both kind of been thinking about this sort of thing for a while...well we sat down on the couch to snuggle up and watch a movie. "I want some popcorn." I go to get the popcorn, and in doing so my shirt rides up and there sits my Glock, she sees it and her eyes almost make contact with me across the room as they are bugging out of her head. I barely had the popcorn made when she said "I am tired, yeah I think I am going to just go." Haven't spoken to her since.

 

[DRMMR02]

I'm sorry to hear that spoony. Too bad she didn't at least hear what you had to say about it first. From your post, it sounded like you 2 may have been trying something more than friendship. Perhaps it's best you found out when you did.

 

[GotGlock]

When i worked as a Bread vendor, a Kash and Karry reciever asks me if i have a gun in the middle of getting checked in (scanning all the diffrent breads), i was bent over lifint trays and said "Yeah, is it poking out?" thinking my shirt had lifted over my glock. She said no, a price gun "Ohhhh, yeah, in the truck."

 

[Katana8869]

Either way I took a little bit of time to let my son know that my gun was our business only...........and that pee wont really hurt a gun anyways.

Reason number 428 that explains why I prefer to carry a Glock

 

[.41Dave]

...and that pee wont really hurt a gun anyways.

Reason number 428 that explains why I prefer to carry a Glock

So you can PEE on it?!

 

[stdlrf11]

I went to buy a car and the salesman and I start talking guns. He asked me what I carry and I told him, my P-01. He said, "Sweet!! Can I see?" I lied and told him that I wasn't carrying today. He wouldn't let it go. He said on the test drive we could swing by my place and check it out. This was too good to walk away from. I had to see where he was going with it.
Now keep in mind, we're in those little booths they call offices right next to the sales floor. People started looking at us, and this guy just kept saying, "I just want to compare it to my Glock, side by side. I finally just told him to drop it, and he did.
Then he went on telling me how he never actually took the CHL class because his instructor was in a hurry. Aparrantly he handed out the booklets, had everyone shoot the qual course, and handed out certificates.
Then he started telling me about how "shoot to stop" is a joke and that EVERYBODY shoots to kill. By this time, people were high tailing it out of there and his boss pulled him to the side.
I chuckled and decided its time for me to hit the dusty trail too.

stdlrf11

 

[gunhappy]

aaronkelly

Walmart is bad karma when it comes to exposing ones guns accidentally.
I was in our local for lunch w/ the wife and 2 kids, carrying a Keltec p11(since retired) with a clipdraw. When I sat in the bench seat, the pistol pushed up from the IWB position it was in, and to my horror landed on the bench seat. My fumbling response was to pick it up and get it reinserted again totally unnoticed by any one other than the people at my table. Ever since, I have not used a Clipdraw, tho I am considering one of the Universals for my SP101 because so many on this board find them to work well. The Clipdraw on the Keltecs is not made by the Clipdraw people (to my knowledge).

 

[spooney]

Originally posted by DRMMR02
I'm sorry to hear that spoony. Too bad she didn't at least hear what you had to say about it first. From your post, it sounded like you 2 may have been trying something more than friendship. Perhaps it's best you found out when you did.

Don't be sorry I sure ain't. It would never have worked anyway.

 

[Moondancer]

Fall or early Winter time, carrying a Kimber in a Galco Miami Classic shoulder rig under a varsity-type jacket. I'd been out and about for a couple hours shopping with the wife on Friday night and we decided to stop at the local video store and rent a movie or two for the weekend.

I'm walking from the back corner toward the check-out counter at the front of the store and feel the Kimber starting to slide down my side. I clamp my elbow down to try to stop it, but to no avail.

Clunk.

It's lying on the floor at my feet. There were probably 15 to 20 people wandering around in plain sight of my incident. Without missing a step, I bend down, grab the gun, throw it into my armpit under the jacket and kept on going. I walk past the wife and say "I'm waiting in the car" or something to that effect and walk out. I don't think anyone even noticed it. Amazing. To this day I don't know why it stayed in the holster as long as it did, or what I had done to pop the thumbreak open, but nonetheless it picked probably the worst possible moment to go, and no-one noticed or cared.

 

[NORTEXED]

Aaronkelly, you're not borrowing any of my guns

"Either way I took a little bit of time to let my son know that my gun was our business only...........and that pee wont really hurt a gun anyways." hahaha

 

[Coyote3855]

One on me, one on a buddy.

Visiting inlaws in Washington state. We're hanging around the waterfront after doing the oyster bar. Sister in law is sitting on bench, I'm standing and made some smart remark. She backhands me, hard, right where my KelTec P40 is riding clipped IWB. Nearly breaks her knuckles and she hollers "What the hell do you have in your pants??" Everyone in hearing distance waits for the answer....

Leathered up and riding Harleys with a group of six or seven LEOs. Tourist season in Wyoming. Standing in line to pay for gas, maybe a dozen cone lickers shopping for jerky and Gatorade. LEO in front of me reaches for his wallet, dislodging his Colt Officers ACP from a cheap and newly acquired shoulder holster. The Colt clattered across the floor, and eveyone in the place froze. He picked up the piece, reholstered, and said, "Pay for my gas, will ya, I got to go." Somebody said, "It's okay, he's a cop." I'm not sure that made the situation any better.

 

[Manedwolf]

Walmart is bad karma when it comes to exposing ones guns accidentally.

At the wal-mart near work here, someone in the restroom got their (no holster?) Glock caught in their waistband, it would seem, and put a round through the ceiling. People fled the restroom with their hands over their ears, and the guy, rather than waiting, simply tried to leave, which got him in trouble.

 

[19-3Ben]

Spoony, she was probably just a wheel-gun fan like myself. If you'd been carrying a model 60, she'd be all over it.

And by the way, that little side convo about peeing on a Glock is among the funniest things I've read in a while.

My experience is not so much funny as it was very very scary. I was walking my dog on our 12 foot running leash, and all of a sudden she rounds the corner of the block ahead of us. There was a another dog there, and my dog just went nuts and started fighing with the other dog. I tried to pull her off. Didn't work. I gave her a good hard whack in the ribs. didn't work. Couldn't pull her off by tugging on her neck either. At this point, she has the other dog firmly clamped in her mouth. So I stick my hand in her mouth, and pull backwards, which finally gets her to let go and back off. And now you ask "Ben, WTH does this have to do with concealed carry?" Well, I realized that while bent over, my CCW which was IWB was just sticking out, totally uncovered...and a school bus brining kids home from school was stopped, and letting kids off not 20 feet behind me!!!!!
I quickly covered up, and walked away. I think people (kids, parents, bus driver) were so concentrated on the dog fight that they didn't even notice the gun. But man oh man, in CT to have an exposed gun around kids, especially since I was still 21 yrs old at the time...geez. talk about a potential recipe for disaster.

 

[Caimlas]

Let's see. Taurus PT111 Pro (9mm) carried by a 155lb (give or take) 6'2" blighter (that's me).

Three situations:

1) Fairly busy public restroom, and I couldn't find anywhere to conceal my pistol while I used a stall, as there were no (clean) ledges. So, I started to panic, but ended up holding it under my chin while my hands were busy, resulting in a giant neck cramp.

2) Another bathroom situation; this one had a box around the TP dispenser, so I put the piece there. I was done doing my duty, cleaned up, and picked up my holstered weapon to put back on my belt. Now, I wear what most would term "baggy" clothing - partially due to my build, partially because it's difficult to find small enough pants (in the waist while being long enough and not cowboy tight). So, while putting it back on my belt I must've moved too quickly, and the gun went straight down my pants leg and clinked on the floor a little. I just kinda bent back down and acted like I was tying my shoes, looked under the stalls to see if anyone could see my vantage point, and picked the gun up. Oh boy that made my sweat, though.

3) Large auditorium in a private school. Metal chair, not too many people there except for the ones immediately around me in similar metal chairs. Large *klank* when the stock/grip hanged against the metal backing as I sat down. Nobody noticed.

Most people aren't that observant, folks. I was talking to someone yesterday that I've known for probably three years; she's in a wheelchair, and her point of view is right at about waist level. The topic of concealed carry came up (her husband is into firearms, and she is by association), and she asked if I had a permit - she had no idea that I even owned a pistol, let alone the fact that I've had one on my person every time she's seen me.

So, if a guy of my stature who can wear 32" waist jeans (albiet somewhat uncomfortably) while carrying can remain incognito, you can too.

 

[Caimlas]

I should clarify that during the winter I use an OWB retention holster this one actually) and during the warmer months I use an IWB.

 

[redneckdan]

My only screw up occured about 2 weeks after I got my permit. I went into the walmart bathroom to drain the lizard. Stepped up to a urinal and just then a county deputy came in, headin for one of the stalls. Just as I loosend my belt my jeans went rocketing to the floor (1911 milspec and 2 reloads). The deputy just busts out laughing, and says "don't ya hate it when that happens". Then life went on as normal.

 

[Riktoven]

Sitting in a little Italian restaraunt in Novi, MI about to propose to my now wife. My P99 is IWB about 4:30 position. I slide my chair back to get up and get down on my knee to propose, but I have a real problem. This nice little Italian joint has chairs with elaborate swirling metal rungs on the back, and the grip on my gun, even with my shirt completely covering it, is stuck in them such that I can't move without the chair comming with me. It took me a good 45 seconds of wiggling, while my girl is trying desperately not to laugh hysterically, to free myself before popping the question.

She said yes, and I made it a point to carry at 3:00 ever since.

 

[Dave R]

One of the first times I carried, I went to use the public restroom. I hadn't worked on my bathroom routine, and wound up dumping my pistol in the toilet. Fortunately, it was before I had used it. I did a quick field strip and wiped off what I could with tissue. Then did a full cleaning when I got home.

I don't think anyone was aware of what happened, but I felt pretty stupid grabbing my pistol out of the toilet.

 

[larry_minn]

Well I was on road wearing a fairly short sweat shirt with pancake holster. I stop at Hardies and there is a gal on floor having seizure. Folks getting all worked up "telling 911 that gal is NOT breathing" and this is pouring rain. So I took cordless phone from Hardies clerk and relayed pt WAS breathing and having a fairly MILD seizure. I get on floor/moving chairs away and ignore advice "put something in her mouth so she does not choke, hold her down,etc"
Police arrives code III (he didn't hear second call from dispatch) Long and short I wind up dealing with her with Officer next to me for good 10 minutes. (checking her out,keeping her from moving too much,getting her ready for transport by EMS, then getting her out of kitchen when EMS lost control of her) (long story)
My sweat shirt rode up a number of times and nobody seemed to notice. (I kept gun side away form her.)

 

[gunny1022]

Using a IWB holster with my Mauser HSc at a supermarket reached up high for a bag of chips. The shirt road up exposing the pistol. Noticed some people looked at me sort of funny, but shopped for a while and went to checkout. The lady behind me asked if I was a cop? Noticed where she was looking, pulled the shirt down, and gave her a little smile like "of course".

 

[mountaindrew]

I am an automechanic and I work on site (house calls) I carry my P3AT in front pocket, now in a pocket holster. Before I bought the holster, I had one embarrasing incedent. It was winter and I was wearing several layers covered by coveralls. The 3at was in the front pocket as usual, or so I thought. I slid out from under the truck I was working on because the customer had come out with a question. I was showing the customer the broken part when I looked down and saw, among my pile of tools on the ground next to the truck, my pistol. I thought I was pretty smooth as I non-chalantly stooped and scooped up the tiny pistol in my hand without even stopping what I was saying, with my body between him and the gun. But then the man calmly says "you dont want to lose that." He was a relatively street-wise fellow who didn't seem to be bothered, and he has called me many times since, so no harm done.

I quickly aquired a pocket holster.