TempestP226
Member
Note to Mod: I felt this was the correct forum to post under, but do feel free to move it if you disagree.
I'll start with my account of the event from start to finish, and then go on to self analysis.
The Incident:
This was at approximately 1930 today.
I pulled into a busy gas station in Fairfax to fill up before heading to DC for a date. Normally I'm armed whenever I'm out and about, but obviously DC law precludes that possibility. So all I'm armed with...in order of importance, is my mind, my body, and a pocket knife I use for work.
Because the station is busy, I'm forced to take the pump right in front of the store entrance, which leaves a narrow throughput for cars, between my vehicle, and the building.
I park my truck, get out, walk around the back to enter the station store.
As I'm about to cross that narrow path, some lady comes speeding through and I'm sure had I not been paying attention, would've hit me. I give her sort of a "!?!" look, but say nothing and enter the store.
I pick up a drink and prepay for fuel.
As I go to leave, she comes walking in, and once again, I look at her, but not with any sort of feeling really. It was just the same as I'd look at anyone walking by me.
As she passes, she says, "(something inappropriate)." And to my horror, before I can stop myself, I end up retorting, "(something else inappropriate)." To which she replies, "What?" And again, I say "(something else inappropriate)." This was all said within about two seconds.
Immediately, I come to my senses and decide I've already inflamed the situation too much and need to de-escalate and just walk away.
Yes, I'm fuming, but it's not worth the time or trouble. I go back to my vehicle and start pumping gas so I can leave, while watching my six.
About three seconds later she comes storming out and shouts, "(racial insult), I'll spit on your car!" Then she storms back inside.
Why a caucasian woman is making disparaging racial remarks to another caucasian, I've no idea, and I don't want to know. At this point I'm thinking she's either loony, or somehow intoxicated.
All I know is that I want to finish pumping and leave.
I'm really watching my six now, and gripping my pocket knife.
Before I finish, she comes back out and storms back off to her car, cranks the engine, steps on the gas, and obviously misses quite a few gears (definitely stick) trying to leave.
I finish pumping, get in my truck, and leave as quickly as possible.
Self analysis:
1. I should have de-escalated the situation from the start. It's infinitely wiser to just take the insult and drop it and leave than to fulfil some primal need to "win". That being said, I need to work on improving my self control in such situations.
2. The effect of adrenaline is a very powerful force. I definitely need to seek further training in learning to control how I react at least communicatively in sudden fight or flight scenarios.
3. Even if I had been carrying something other than a knife, other than the comfort factor, it would've been utterly useless unless there had been threat to life or limb. Same can be said for the knife. Having it in my hand, ready to deploy, may have been a stupid decision. Had I de-escalated from the start, the incident would never have as far as it did. That being said, I'm sure I would've had to answer for my share of responsibility in the event of a grim outcome.
4. While I'm glad I came to my senses and de-escalated so that nothing further came of it, I am also ashamed that I allowed myself to be brought down to the level I did. I think it reflects on my communication skills, which are apparently poorer than I had realized.
5. The reality that weapons are not problem solvers, or good luck talismans has been seriously reinforced. While I understood that to begin with, I think this really just drove it home for me. Carrying a weapon is serious business. They're a serious tool, to be used only as a horrible absolute last resort IF AND ONLY IF ALL ELSE FAILS..
6. The words "The High Road" suddenly bear more meaning to me than I had ever thought possible.
I'm posting this for a couple of reasons. Partially as a cautionary tale of how quickly things can turn upside down if you're careless, and partially in a desire for constructive criticism from people wiser than I.
I'll start with my account of the event from start to finish, and then go on to self analysis.
The Incident:
This was at approximately 1930 today.
I pulled into a busy gas station in Fairfax to fill up before heading to DC for a date. Normally I'm armed whenever I'm out and about, but obviously DC law precludes that possibility. So all I'm armed with...in order of importance, is my mind, my body, and a pocket knife I use for work.
Because the station is busy, I'm forced to take the pump right in front of the store entrance, which leaves a narrow throughput for cars, between my vehicle, and the building.
I park my truck, get out, walk around the back to enter the station store.
As I'm about to cross that narrow path, some lady comes speeding through and I'm sure had I not been paying attention, would've hit me. I give her sort of a "!?!" look, but say nothing and enter the store.
I pick up a drink and prepay for fuel.
As I go to leave, she comes walking in, and once again, I look at her, but not with any sort of feeling really. It was just the same as I'd look at anyone walking by me.
As she passes, she says, "(something inappropriate)." And to my horror, before I can stop myself, I end up retorting, "(something else inappropriate)." To which she replies, "What?" And again, I say "(something else inappropriate)." This was all said within about two seconds.
Immediately, I come to my senses and decide I've already inflamed the situation too much and need to de-escalate and just walk away.
Yes, I'm fuming, but it's not worth the time or trouble. I go back to my vehicle and start pumping gas so I can leave, while watching my six.
About three seconds later she comes storming out and shouts, "(racial insult), I'll spit on your car!" Then she storms back inside.
Why a caucasian woman is making disparaging racial remarks to another caucasian, I've no idea, and I don't want to know. At this point I'm thinking she's either loony, or somehow intoxicated.
All I know is that I want to finish pumping and leave.
I'm really watching my six now, and gripping my pocket knife.
Before I finish, she comes back out and storms back off to her car, cranks the engine, steps on the gas, and obviously misses quite a few gears (definitely stick) trying to leave.
I finish pumping, get in my truck, and leave as quickly as possible.
Self analysis:
1. I should have de-escalated the situation from the start. It's infinitely wiser to just take the insult and drop it and leave than to fulfil some primal need to "win". That being said, I need to work on improving my self control in such situations.
2. The effect of adrenaline is a very powerful force. I definitely need to seek further training in learning to control how I react at least communicatively in sudden fight or flight scenarios.
3. Even if I had been carrying something other than a knife, other than the comfort factor, it would've been utterly useless unless there had been threat to life or limb. Same can be said for the knife. Having it in my hand, ready to deploy, may have been a stupid decision. Had I de-escalated from the start, the incident would never have as far as it did. That being said, I'm sure I would've had to answer for my share of responsibility in the event of a grim outcome.
4. While I'm glad I came to my senses and de-escalated so that nothing further came of it, I am also ashamed that I allowed myself to be brought down to the level I did. I think it reflects on my communication skills, which are apparently poorer than I had realized.
5. The reality that weapons are not problem solvers, or good luck talismans has been seriously reinforced. While I understood that to begin with, I think this really just drove it home for me. Carrying a weapon is serious business. They're a serious tool, to be used only as a horrible absolute last resort IF AND ONLY IF ALL ELSE FAILS..
6. The words "The High Road" suddenly bear more meaning to me than I had ever thought possible.
I'm posting this for a couple of reasons. Partially as a cautionary tale of how quickly things can turn upside down if you're careless, and partially in a desire for constructive criticism from people wiser than I.
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