Drinking chemical weapons?

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Preacherman

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From the Telegraph, London (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/mai...isk27.xml&sSheet=/news/2003/09/27/ixhome.html):

Inside 'distillery of mass destruction'
By Auslan Cramb, Scottish Correspondent
(Filed: 27/09/2003)

There is nothing on the narrow road leading to the tiny island distillery to suggest it might be the home of an illegal weapons industry.

Barnacle geese newly arrived from the Arctic are gathering in the fields, five small boats sit at anchor in the harbour, and there are no security checkpoints.

Visitors to the Bruichladdich distillery are invited to take an unfettered tour of the facility, and to buy souvenirs in the shop.

They are also reminded that they can revisit the site when they return home by logging on to the company's eight "webcams".

The cameras were installed to allow whisky enthusiasts around the world to watch a process that has barely changed since Victorian times. Not surprisingly, it did not occur to the distillers that their operations might also interest American agents looking for chemical weapons.

It emerged yesterday that the cameras have been watched by the Defence Threat Reduction Agency, a US government department set up to safeguard America from chemical, biological, radiological and nuclear weapons of mass destruction. The agency's interest was revealed in a series of e-mails from its base in Fort Belvoir, Virginia, after an employee contacted the distillery to point out that one of its cameras had stopped working.

After the camera was fixed, the island distiller received a "thank you" message bearing the full name of the DTRA.

Intrigued by the source of the message, Mark Reynier, managing director of the distillery, asked the agency why it was watching his whisky vats and was told that chemical weapons could be made using a process similar to distilling. With no more than a slight "tweak", Scotland's distilleries could be producing something even more hazardous whisky.

Mr Reynier, 41, said: "I was absolutely amazed when we got an e-mail telling us why they were monitoring the distillery. It was one of the most bizarre things I had ever heard.

"Whisky has been called many things, but never a weapon of mass destruction. It makes you wonder if the Americans have any chance of finding anything if they are watching a little distillery on a Hebridean island.

"I might also point out that if we were making chemical weapons, I don't think we would be put the process on a live webcam. It has caused great amusement among our staff."

In an e-mail to Mr Reynier, Ursula Stearns of the DTRA said the agency's mission was to "safeguard the US and its allies from weapons of mass destruction (chemical, biological, radiological, nuclear and high explosives)". She added: "Our area deals with the implementation of the Chemical Weapons Convention so we go to sites to verify treaty compliance.

"I still find it very funny that their chemical processes look very similar to your distilling process. As part of a training class we went to a brewery for familiarisation with reactors, batch processors, evaporators, etc before going in the field.

"It just goes to show how 'tweaks' to the process can create something very pleasant (whisky) or deadly (chemical weapons)." A spokesman for the agency said yesterday that the webcams were of "no official interest", but added that the US was committed to destroying chemical weapons.

He said that included "monitoring and visiting commercial facilities where they would be able to make chemical weapons".

Perhaps it was the pledge on the webcam page that aroused suspicion. It states: "Watch whisky being distilled! See the comings and goings of a working distillery. We have nothing to hide . . ."
 
With no more than a slight "tweak", Scotland's distilleries could be producing something even more hazardous whisky.

I'm sure there's quite a bit of similarity between my occasional batch of oatmeal cookies with raisins and lots of cinnamon and nutmeg, on the one hand, and plastique explosives. If you'll excuse me now, I'll go check my kitchen window to make sure no one's keeping an electronic eye on my oven.
 
The cameras were installed to allow whisky enthusiasts around the world to watch a process that has barely changed since Victorian times.
[sarcasm on]
Here we have a private distillery sharing and educating enthusiasts with webcams installed of thier own free choosing. If going to included matches and cloths with each bottle for "cocktails" I bet that "production process" is off webcam. [sarcasm off]

A little ticked off (mildly put), my city has decided- besides the cameras on stoplights- to spend ~$600k to put up security cameras at random to protect me from crime. I think the monies would be best spent on education...firearms education, guns, CCW for citizens, training...etc., BGs know the where the cameras will be...not gonna know if citizen is packing or not. aarrgg!
 
Cells are cells. A good fermentor will brew just about anything. You just need the seed stock to do so.

The better solution to this problem is to demand/purchase 1 case of product from every fermentation run to ensure it is actually just alcoholic beverages and not WMDs. I'd volunteer to do my part for national security.
 
Great, now we have whiskey enthusiasts, that work for the .gov, watching the distillation process at work, on our dime. No really it's for your protection.

I've always suspected alcohol might be the problem inside the beltway.

Agent Schmucketelli: "Sir, I believe I've uncovered a terrorist plot, they have infiltrated the "adult entertainment industry". I will need some supplies and full authority to go under cover. My code name is Rock Hard. As soon as agent Lushetelli is finished with that distillery send him over here...I'll need alot of help... ;)

If I was the distiller I would add something to the label of my spirits, like: Observed, examined and approved by the DTRA. Maybe change the name to: Spooks Spirits.
 
Preacherman

I was once told that when Prohibition was about to be repealed, a certain major Democrat contributor named Joe Kennedy stood to lose a major source of income (bootlegging). Old Joe worked out a deal with FDR. For every case of scotch imported into the USA, the Kennedy family would recieve a commission of IIRC one dollar.

So, is it urban legend or is it true? If true, then maybe Uncle Teddy is just protecting his family's interest.
 
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