Family Code Words?

[onlymeself]

I don't know that you would call them code words, but my kids know if I'm using one word commands, that is not the time to ask why. If I'm saying "get down, get down" in the middle of the night they are to roll out of bed, and stay low. The way my house is set up I will hold cover in front of their bedroom doors. If I say go, that means go out the window, checking both directions first, run to psycho neighbors house (right kind of psycho). Stay means, stay put not clear yet. They also know that once they are out of the house to say "out" and run. Guess I'll go over what to do if I say "go" while we are out. Crowded places we always have a meeting place if we get seperated. "Go" at the county fair would mean go to the merry go round. "Go" at the grocery store could mean meet me at the left side of the building. You could make it simple by pointing out the left side as you walk in. "There's the left side" They would know if mom says go, that is where I go.

 

[MarineOne]

I use codewords with my kids, too. In this day and age kids are smarter than we were at their age and there is no reason not to use it to our advantage as parents.

I've "programmed" them not to ask for the password because then it alerts the person that has approached either of my children. My boys know that if myself or my wife can't pick them up due to an emergency they get this phrase:

"Your Mom/Dad sent me to pick you up and the password is (insert password here)."

If they don't get this phrase, they won't go.




Kris

 

[ALHunter]

My wife and I have one - now. I'd been on her for a year to help me agree on one. I wanted her buy in on (a) having one, and (b) what the word would be. Thus, it would be a word she would remember, and know when she heard the precise action to take (i.e. call 911, move behind me, run to secure kids, etc., depending on situation and where we are).

Until this past Feb. she kind of dismissed it as unnecessary. One day in Feb., by God's blessed hand, I happened to be home in middle of the day. Two solicitors (later found to be wanted felons out of GA and CA) appear at our door "raising money for our youth ministry." Yeah, right. Long story short - after an hour of dealing with them, getting Sheriff's deputy out to the house, and saving the next door neighbor's 18 yr old kid from an almost certain robbery/assault (or worse) from these career criminals, they were apprehended and extradited.

Wife realized after the events unfolded how necessary the code word was. Many words were used and needed by me to signify the gravity of the situation, and to immediately cut through the background "noise" of 4 kids in the house all playing with various toys plus "Dora the Explorer" blaring from the television. Now, we have a code word. It's actually a name. So when I say "________ ______!" She knows we have a dead serious situationm and immediate action is needed. Everything worked out fine back in February when I had to deal with the lovely young gentlemen at my door and my neighbor's house, but it sure would have helped to have had the code word then.

SM - your posts are most appreciated by me. Thank you. If you are ever in Alabama I'll gladly pay you for an hour of your time to teach me more, and teach my wife and kids in person what you graciosuly offer us here on line.

 

[catspa]

Hank: No swearing = Hank's in serious mode

OTOH, no smoking = Hank's cussing like a sailor. I know what you mean, because out on the construction site, language can get pretty raw. After a while, if I don't watch myself, I start thinking that way and popping it out at the wrong times.

Once had a foreman named Ray that couldn't say 3 words without cussing, I kid you not. His favorite treat was chocolate covered raisins, and the whole crew started calling them "Raisin [] in-ets". To this day I can't buy a package or see them in the store without a little grin.

If your wife was a nurse, don't they say "stat" when they mean right-[]-now? Maybe a member in the medical biz could confirm that for us.

Parker

 

[Shadow Man]

I was, until very recently, a staff member at a local Boy Scout camp. I worked on the aquatics staff as a life guard, and we had several code words for different scenarios. One for lightning/imminent storm (in which case we had to evacute the 150-250 or more swimmers in as short a period of time as we could without panic) another word for serious issues or medical mishaps (the lifeguards were the best medically trained staff members beside the camp Ranger (emt/fire trained) and the Nurse (emt/RN) and frequently we would respond to aother departments issues) across camp, and also another code word for a violent action or threat in camp. We took our safety and security very seriously, and our preparedness paid off on several occasions. And Catspa, while I am not a member of the "medical biz" we DID use the term STAT quite frequently, as saying "Get [] over here right [] now!!" is not proper behavior for a Boy Scout.

 

[thesolidus]

Damn, forgot one key principle...
Keep It Simple!

So, still have one or two family codes (have since I was a kid) and we train with them at work, but....
Good point about memory and confusion. Don't want to add lots of codes your not going to train with regularly and confuse a situation.

Still, i like having a 'threat' code but that said i tried to use it once at work and the woman working with me didn't get it and i sat for 30 min stuck in a little office talking down a homicidal/suicidal person till i finally got fed up and just said "excuse me ma'am, don't take this the wrong way but !!!SECURITY!!!"

 

[chuckusaret]

I might have a senior moment with code words so I'll stick with plain old english.

 

[lions]

My wife likes to give things names. She gave a name to the pistol I have with me all the time. (Every animal laying on the side of the road gets a name too, but that is a story for another day.) If she says that name/calls me that name/anything involving that name, I know something has her worried. Likewise if I say that name she knows someone/thing has me worried, and to act accordingly. We don't know anyone else by that name yet but it would really throw a wrench into things if we did.

 

[SSN Vet]

"Alas Babylon"

that book made quite the impression on me at age 15.

Our youngest child used to think it was great fun to play hide and seek with mommy at departments stores, which on one occasion left my wife very thankful for K-Marts "Code Blue" protocal. The manager was at the door in seconds and temporarilly no one was allowed to leave the store with a child. And several clerks quickly helped my wife search out our little rascal, who was hiding in a display rack of pants.

 

[Tiomoid]

Yep, growing up my family had code words for people picking us up, among other codes. The most often used was a family whistle that we would use to communicate in large stores or busy public places (Such as Walmart/County Fairs).

 

[LibShooter]

I can see that code words might be a good idea for hospitals and law enforcement folks who drill with them, use them often and have a crowd of innocents to protect.

At home, especially in a "once in a lifetime" stressful situation, I foresee tragic confusion. Does "Elmo Loves You!" mean "Run to the Neighbors" or "Empty the magazine through the front door."

I'd rather use plain ol' English at home.

 

[Carl Levitian]

No code words per se, but if things look dicy we resort to milspeak.

When I met Karen, I was a young GI, and when we got hitched, Karen becme an army wife, hanging out with other army wives at Ft. Sam Houston. She got to be very famitliar with the phrases. She knows what a dust off is, what evac means. Once when we were traveling, I could hear something going on in the resturuant behind me, and I watched Karen who was looking past me, watching what was happening. When she said it was time to evac now, we grabbed the kids and left. It was a couple of drunks having an argument, but why take chances.

Also we just have some things we know how we each will act. Next year will be our 40th aniversary, and after that amount of time, we know each other pretty well. A look, a slight jerk of the head, a raise of a finger on a hand on a table.

But the biggest thing is the total trust in the other, and the long agreement to back each other to the hilt. No matter what.

 

[catspa]

Carl: But the biggest thing is the total trust in the other, and the long agreement to back each other to the hilt. No matter what.

I think that's really cool.

Parker

 

[CoRoMo]

Steve...

I'm stealing the 'cat' thing. Thanks.

 

[rgwalt]

Great thread everyone, I've really enjoyed hearing about what has worked for others. I am still single, but if/when I do find that special person I will encourage the use of simple code words. Plain english is obviously most effective, but we all know there are situations that can and do happen where plain English simply can't be used without alerting someone else to what you are thinking/planning/going through.

When I was a kid, my mom and I had a password. I think my dad dismissed it as my mom being paranoid about something happening to me (I am an only-child). When I was still too young to use a peep hole at a door, but would be alone, she would use the password to double-confirm it was her at the door. If she ever sent someone to pick me up from anywhere, even if it was the best friend of the family, they were to use the password. If they didn't say "Hi Ryan, your mom called me and asked me to pick you up. She wanted me to tell you ______" I was supposed to find the nearest teacher (if at school) or find someone with some level of authority (an employee at a store, a security guard, a police officer). Otherwise, I was supposed to start yelling for help. Family got a free pass from using the password (we have a very small family anyway). I believe we had to use the password once. I vaugely remember my mom sending a good friend of her's to pick me up once... the friend knew the password and everything was kosher. The thing about the password was that my mom explained to me why we needed it very calmly, and I accepted it. It never seemed strange to me. I don't think a simple one-word password meaning "all OK" would be too much for a kid.

Beyond that, with a significant other (or even with close friends) I would want a base of two codes:
1) I/We/You need to get out of Dodge, but I can't come out and say this amongst current company.
2) I am (or we are) in trouble and need help, but I can't come out and say this amongst current company.

There are probably more that can be added to this list, and I would welcome additional suggestions.