Florida Man Kills Roommate Over Toilet Paper

[Merkin.Muffley]

MOSS BLUFF, Fla. - A man accused of fatally beating his roommate with a sledgehammer and a claw hammer because there was no toilet paper in their home has been arrested.

Franklin Paul Crow, 56, was charged Monday with homicide in the death of Kenneth Matthews, 58, according to the Marion County Sheriff's Office.

Capt. Thomas Bibb said Crow initially denied his involvement, but confessed during questioning.

Crow told investigators that the men were fighting about the toilet paper over the weekend when Matthews pulled out a rifle. Crow said he then began beating Matthews with the sledgehammer and claw hammer, according to an affidavit.

Matthews was beaten so badly he had to be identified through his fingerprints, detectives said.

Crow was being held at the Marion County jail without bond. It was not immediately known whether he had an attorney.

 

[Biker]

Seems a bit extreme. I think I woulda just used one of the guy's socks.
Biker

 

[El Tejon]

You mean firearms are not magic talismans and do not ward off evil with their presence?

Oh, fine, next you will tell me that they are weapons to be used for fighting.

I apologize for the following, but I simply must do it--hammer time.

 

[TallPine]

Did you know that in Florida just anyone can walk into a hardware store and buy a deadly assault hammer without even a background check ...?

Something needs to be done ... for the children, of course. Nobody needs to own these dangerous implements - if you need to drive a nail you can just hire a professional carpenter.

(this message paid for by CAVE - Citizens Against Virtually Everything)

 

[El Tejon]

Tall, I heard Haliburton and Karl Rove were forcing children, women and minorities to purchase assault hammers with their hidden handtool licenses issued by Bush's brother and smuggling them to New York City, Boston and Washington D.C. to make those liberal utopias look bad. Have you read the same?

 

[PCGS65]

It's time to ban toilet paper!! I knew it would happed sooner or later. LOL

 

[Fly320s]

It's all Peter Gabriel's fault.

 

[shermacman]

Odd, no mention of adult beverages.

 

[dhoomonyou]

guess he was beyond "pissed off".

Sorry, to all.

 

[Henry Bowman]

Sarah Brady and gang warned us that this kind of thing would happen.

 

[rchernandez]

I'm waiting to see how Nancy Pelosi is going to blame this one on Bush...





Ban toilet paper?

 

[MICHAEL T]

Only Lic.carpenters should have hammers. Their trained how to use them.

 

[MarkDido]

Only Lic.carpenters should have hammers. Their trained how to use them.

"Am I the only one in this room professional enough to use this Stanley framing hammer?"

or words to that general effect.......

 

[KriegHund]

"Am I the only one in this room professional enough to use this Stanley framing hammer?"

or words to that general effect.......

i think its closer to-

I am the only person, in this room, perfesional enough to handle this 4.0 OZ claw hammer! *Smash*

But im probably far off too.

This guy musta had some mental issues....

 

[Archie]

Okay, this has degenerated sufficiently...

Never bring a rifle to a hammer fight.

 

['Card]

But if hammers are outlawed, only outlaws will have hammers!

 

[~z]

Gees does no one know the other use for the shower curtain?
~z

 

[wmenorr67]

But the other guy pulled a gun on him. Should be a clear case of self defense.

 

[hwp]

56 year old man living with a 58 year old man????????

My money is on a lovers spat.

 

[CZ-100]

56 year old man living with a 58 year old man????????

My money is on a lovers spat.

I was thinking the same thing...

 

[gunsmith]

you guys

you guys certainly are on a roll!

...thats what you get for squeezing the charmin!

 

[afasano]

That's a crappy reason to kill someone. There somebody had to be the first to say it.

 

[ChefGW]

I guess this is one of those SHTF situations!

 

[Zen21Tao]

I'm waiting to see how Nancy Pelosi is going to blame this one on Bush...

Hammers are made of wood and iron. Iron is a valuable natural resource. Another natural resource is oil. Oil comes from Saudi Arabia. Saudi Arabia’s royal family invests in some of the same companies as President Bush. Ohhh My God….. It really must be Bush’s fault.

 

[Autolite]

Claw hammers, firearms, old men and toilet paper. Deadly combination ...