So, as I mentioned before, my house had to get fumigated for termites (or so claimed the company that inspected the house for termites, which conveniently also does fumigations 
).
Anyways, it was my parents' house (like I've mentioned before, I moved out of my apartment to stay with the rents until I find a new place wherever I end up going to law school. It also saves some cash (a lot actually).
So, first the people pop by the house 2 days before the fumigation and I ask what they'll be using. I was worried it might be somehow corrosive. They said it was Vikane and is not corrosive to anything.
Ok. So I lock up my guns, knives, and other gear like flashlights and holsters (anything that would give away that there were guns in the house) in the safe (because I figured unless I was ridiculously sneaky - like CIA material sneaky - I wasn't going to get my gun collection into the hotel without somebody getting suspicious, and fortunately my safe looks like it could just be a clothing wardrobe except for the lock attached to it). So I locked it up, wrote down the serial numbers, and found a small closet under the stairs which locked where I put all my ammo cans (like $5,000 + worth of ammo).... done. My dad is the only one with a key to that closet, so I figured it would be a good place to store them. It has a deadbolt and all, so I liked it.
I figure I'm all set. I've got my snubby with a pocket holster and some extra ammo, one flashlight, a Spyderco knive, and some OC to take with me to the hotel (can never be too prepared).
The day of the fumigation (Monday), the folks leave for work and leave me in charge. They tell me - under no circumstances to give the fumigators keys to the house. They told me since we're staying at a hotel less than 3 minutes away, when they need to get in, they can call us. I figured this was reasonable.
The crew had me suspicious from the moment they got out of their trucks - they dressed and acted like slobs, were disgustingly dirty wearing tattered clothes, they smelled horrible (I thought I smelled alcohol on one of them), gold teeth, tons of tattoos (not that I have anything against tattoos in and of themselves, but when it's part of a general image that says, "Don't trust me." it becomes a problem). So, I was not thrilled.
Despite this, I let them in the house to set up. I'm carrying my snubby just in case and as I told you all earlier I would - I was on their butts like stuck TP.
They start setting up tear gas systems (nobody told me about the tear gas, and I wasn't sure if that was corrosive, so I was a little nervous again about the whole corrosive issue). Ran the gas lines, cracked open the windows (I assume for pressure reasons), etc.
Then they come to the locked closet where I had all of my ammo and to which I had no key. To them it looked like a door to a room I suppose. They said they need to go in. I replied, "It's a small closet with nothing much in it. It doesn't go anywhere. You don't need to go in there."
Then this:
Them: "We have to open the closet or we won't do the job."
Me: "I'm sorry, but I don't have a key, and I don't understand why this little closet is so important."
Them: "Well, this door needs to be opened now, or we're packing up and leaving."
Me: "Again, I don't have the key, and it's just a small closet."
Them: "Alright, well we're going to pack up right now unless you open this closet."
Me: "What part of 'I don't have a key' did you not understand?'"
Them: "It doesn't matter, this door needs to be opened right now."
Me: "What do you want me to do, get a chainsaw and cut it open?! I DON'T HAVE THE KEY AND IT IS JUST A CLOSET!"
Them: "I don't care what you do, the door opens or we leave."
now I lose my cool
Me: "If we break the door down, are you going to reimburse me for the damages?!" (I'm not thrilled with the idea of the door being opened at all since all of my ammo is in there and it would be a giveaway that there are guns in the house.)
Them: "No. Opening the door is your responsibility, now open the door."
Me: "Since I've already told you several times that I don't have the key, that you don't need to go in there, and since we've established that you aren't going to reimburse me for the damages if we break it down, we have a problem."
Them: "We're going to leave if you don't open this door."
Me: "Yes, I understand that. I also understand that I've explained to you many times that I can't open the door. My parents are not here, one of whom has the key, and they aren't going to be able to come over to deal with this. In addition, you have not given me one good reason why this door needs to be open, it's not airtight, so the gas would flow just fine. Run a hose under the door if you need to. However, since you seem to be insisting upon your way, which is impossible for me to comply with, I suppose you might as well pack your _____ up, and get the ____ out."
Them: "Ok." yells at the crew to start taking down the tent that was almost 100% up.
*right then my father calls* I tell him the situation. He panics. He tells me to check his safe as he might have a spare key. I didn't have the combination, so he tells it to me. I go check, and there is a huge keyring with at least 30 keys on it. I tell the guys to hold on one moment while I sit there trying each key to see if one of them opens it. Voila, my dad got lucky. I was unlucky because now they see that there is a ton of ammo boxes in there. After 1 second they tell me that I can close and lock the door, but they need the key to that closet. I replied, "I don't understand, you just made this big fuss about opening the door, and then once I open it, you say I can lock it again? What was the point of that? He tells me they were checking to make sure nobody was locked in there. (WHAT?!) So I ask, "Ok, well since you've seen there is nobody locked in there, why do you need the key?
Then it starts again. "We won't do the job unless you give us that key. You'll get it back after the fumigation is over with and we let you back into the house.
An argument ensues between me and him about that.
Finally, after yet another phone call to my father, I give him the key. Now I have to figure out what to do with the ammo. I end up loading it in my car to take to the hotel (hiding that on the way in was interesting to say the least!)
After they're ready to go, they tell me they need the key to the front door of the house. I told them that I've been given instructions not to give that key. I tell them that my family and myself will be nearby, so when they need to get in to let the gas out, we'll happily meet them at the house.
Again an argument ensues, they tell me they won't do the job unless I give them the key to the front house. I ask why they need the key. They say it's state law. I didn't believe that. If it's state law, there are some dumb lawmakers in Florida. How do I know he's not going to make a copy of the closet key and the front door key in the next 2 days that we're not allowed in the house?
He tells me it's in case somebody breaks into the house, like a burglar. They need a key so they can get them out. I reply, "If somebody is dumb enough to break into a house with a tent over it and signs posted all over warning of poisonous gas, and their intent is to rob my house, then quite frankly I couldn't care less what happens to them within the house. He argues some more.
Finally, after ANOTHER call to my father, I give him the key to the front door (which actually is the key to EVERY outside door).
Finally, after they've put the gas in the house, the first cop arrives (there were 7 LEOs involved in guarding the house).
I go to the hotel and face the task of getting the ammo cans into the hotel room. I do so, cover them up, and put a "Do not disturb" sign on the door.
For the next 2 days, because I don't trust that those door signs actually get read and/or honored, I basically just watched TV to make sure nobody came into the room to eventually either take some of my stuff, or call the PD thinking I was a terrorist.
Finally, yesterday we moved back in. I just got my computer hooked back up. It's over.
I checked my guns, there is some residue on them (maybe from the tear gas they initially used?) I guess I'll have to clean them all this weekend.
What a PITA that whole thing was.
ETA: please pardon my grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm exhausted.
).Anyways, it was my parents' house (like I've mentioned before, I moved out of my apartment to stay with the rents until I find a new place wherever I end up going to law school. It also saves some cash (a lot actually).
So, first the people pop by the house 2 days before the fumigation and I ask what they'll be using. I was worried it might be somehow corrosive. They said it was Vikane and is not corrosive to anything.
Ok. So I lock up my guns, knives, and other gear like flashlights and holsters (anything that would give away that there were guns in the house) in the safe (because I figured unless I was ridiculously sneaky - like CIA material sneaky - I wasn't going to get my gun collection into the hotel without somebody getting suspicious, and fortunately my safe looks like it could just be a clothing wardrobe except for the lock attached to it). So I locked it up, wrote down the serial numbers, and found a small closet under the stairs which locked where I put all my ammo cans (like $5,000 + worth of ammo).... done. My dad is the only one with a key to that closet, so I figured it would be a good place to store them. It has a deadbolt and all, so I liked it.
I figure I'm all set. I've got my snubby with a pocket holster and some extra ammo, one flashlight, a Spyderco knive, and some OC to take with me to the hotel (can never be too prepared).
The day of the fumigation (Monday), the folks leave for work and leave me in charge. They tell me - under no circumstances to give the fumigators keys to the house. They told me since we're staying at a hotel less than 3 minutes away, when they need to get in, they can call us. I figured this was reasonable.
The crew had me suspicious from the moment they got out of their trucks - they dressed and acted like slobs, were disgustingly dirty wearing tattered clothes, they smelled horrible (I thought I smelled alcohol on one of them), gold teeth, tons of tattoos (not that I have anything against tattoos in and of themselves, but when it's part of a general image that says, "Don't trust me." it becomes a problem). So, I was not thrilled.
Despite this, I let them in the house to set up. I'm carrying my snubby just in case and as I told you all earlier I would - I was on their butts like stuck TP.
They start setting up tear gas systems (nobody told me about the tear gas, and I wasn't sure if that was corrosive, so I was a little nervous again about the whole corrosive issue). Ran the gas lines, cracked open the windows (I assume for pressure reasons), etc.
Then they come to the locked closet where I had all of my ammo and to which I had no key. To them it looked like a door to a room I suppose. They said they need to go in. I replied, "It's a small closet with nothing much in it. It doesn't go anywhere. You don't need to go in there."
Then this:
Them: "We have to open the closet or we won't do the job."
Me: "I'm sorry, but I don't have a key, and I don't understand why this little closet is so important."
Them: "Well, this door needs to be opened now, or we're packing up and leaving."
Me: "Again, I don't have the key, and it's just a small closet."
Them: "Alright, well we're going to pack up right now unless you open this closet."
Me: "What part of 'I don't have a key' did you not understand?'"
Them: "It doesn't matter, this door needs to be opened right now."
Me: "What do you want me to do, get a chainsaw and cut it open?! I DON'T HAVE THE KEY AND IT IS JUST A CLOSET!"
Them: "I don't care what you do, the door opens or we leave."
now I lose my cool
Me: "If we break the door down, are you going to reimburse me for the damages?!" (I'm not thrilled with the idea of the door being opened at all since all of my ammo is in there and it would be a giveaway that there are guns in the house.)
Them: "No. Opening the door is your responsibility, now open the door."
Me: "Since I've already told you several times that I don't have the key, that you don't need to go in there, and since we've established that you aren't going to reimburse me for the damages if we break it down, we have a problem."
Them: "We're going to leave if you don't open this door."
Me: "Yes, I understand that. I also understand that I've explained to you many times that I can't open the door. My parents are not here, one of whom has the key, and they aren't going to be able to come over to deal with this. In addition, you have not given me one good reason why this door needs to be open, it's not airtight, so the gas would flow just fine. Run a hose under the door if you need to. However, since you seem to be insisting upon your way, which is impossible for me to comply with, I suppose you might as well pack your _____ up, and get the ____ out."
Them: "Ok." yells at the crew to start taking down the tent that was almost 100% up.
*right then my father calls* I tell him the situation. He panics. He tells me to check his safe as he might have a spare key. I didn't have the combination, so he tells it to me. I go check, and there is a huge keyring with at least 30 keys on it. I tell the guys to hold on one moment while I sit there trying each key to see if one of them opens it. Voila, my dad got lucky. I was unlucky because now they see that there is a ton of ammo boxes in there. After 1 second they tell me that I can close and lock the door, but they need the key to that closet. I replied, "I don't understand, you just made this big fuss about opening the door, and then once I open it, you say I can lock it again? What was the point of that? He tells me they were checking to make sure nobody was locked in there. (WHAT?!) So I ask, "Ok, well since you've seen there is nobody locked in there, why do you need the key?
Then it starts again. "We won't do the job unless you give us that key. You'll get it back after the fumigation is over with and we let you back into the house.
An argument ensues between me and him about that.
Finally, after yet another phone call to my father, I give him the key. Now I have to figure out what to do with the ammo. I end up loading it in my car to take to the hotel (hiding that on the way in was interesting to say the least!)
After they're ready to go, they tell me they need the key to the front door of the house. I told them that I've been given instructions not to give that key. I tell them that my family and myself will be nearby, so when they need to get in to let the gas out, we'll happily meet them at the house.
Again an argument ensues, they tell me they won't do the job unless I give them the key to the front house. I ask why they need the key. They say it's state law. I didn't believe that. If it's state law, there are some dumb lawmakers in Florida. How do I know he's not going to make a copy of the closet key and the front door key in the next 2 days that we're not allowed in the house?
He tells me it's in case somebody breaks into the house, like a burglar. They need a key so they can get them out. I reply, "If somebody is dumb enough to break into a house with a tent over it and signs posted all over warning of poisonous gas, and their intent is to rob my house, then quite frankly I couldn't care less what happens to them within the house. He argues some more.
Finally, after ANOTHER call to my father, I give him the key to the front door (which actually is the key to EVERY outside door).
Finally, after they've put the gas in the house, the first cop arrives (there were 7 LEOs involved in guarding the house).
I go to the hotel and face the task of getting the ammo cans into the hotel room. I do so, cover them up, and put a "Do not disturb" sign on the door.
For the next 2 days, because I don't trust that those door signs actually get read and/or honored, I basically just watched TV to make sure nobody came into the room to eventually either take some of my stuff, or call the PD thinking I was a terrorist.
Finally, yesterday we moved back in. I just got my computer hooked back up. It's over.
I checked my guns, there is some residue on them (maybe from the tear gas they initially used?) I guess I'll have to clean them all this weekend.
What a PITA that whole thing was.
ETA: please pardon my grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm exhausted.
