New guy here, first new thread! I type a lot, so pardon the length of this. There is a summary and a few questions at the bottom of this thread if you have ADD.
First off, a little background:
My girlfriend (who has been living with me for about a year and a half) is hardly an "anti". She literally grew up on a farm in the midwest, has been around guns pretty much all the time. She doesn't have any "problem" with them. I consider her to be extremely logical/rational for a woman, not to mention very intelligent.
I live in a very gun-unfriendly state in New England (take a wild guess) but I have always loved guns and pretty much anything military related. However, living at home at a younger age, I was never allowed to buy or use firearms due to a very worrisome mother. No big deal. Now that I live on my own, I took the required course and got my license to carry (took only 7 months of waiting). My first firearm is going to be a shotgun, mainly for HD purposes. Just the other day I put in an order for it.
The topic of self-defense (mainly focused around SD in the home) came up recently due to a comment I made regarding feeling better (and being able to sleep better) once I finally get the shotgun. Of course, I don't really need to explain to YOU guys why I feel the need for a firearm for self-defense, but the discussion that I ended up in left me baffled!
I don't remember the exact words spoken so I will paraphrase with the occasional quote.
The discussion started with her questioning my need to have a firearm when our house is so locked down (implying that no one could break in). I could tell this would be an odd discussion because as we all know, it is quite easy for someone to break into any "normal" house. Now granted, I consider myself to be a very safety conscious person - I use jackstands when I'm working on my car, I wear safety glasses when working with power tools, I keep fire extinguishers in the house...you know - pretty common sense stuff for your average person who likes to keep on living.
My house has standard deadbolts, and each entrance also has a manual latch for night-time use as well as each window having a keyed lock. The idea of this is that someone wouldn't be able to force a window or pick a lock to get in quietly. They'd have to kick down a door or smash out a window. This would wake me up and give me the few seconds needed to get a firearm. Simple and likely very effective, right? Believe me, I don't go overboard by almost anyone's standards. I don't even have an alarm, or sensor lights outside (okay, but I will probably get both someday!).
Annnyyway, back to the story. I explained all of this to her - how easy it would be for someone to break in, and that the firearm was a very effective method of protection. That moved the discussion in a new direction - why you would need a firearm to protect yourself from an intruder (duh??). Apparently she was under the impression that she could call 911 and have the cops here before someone could successfully break in. I explained that this was fairly ridiculous as all it would take is a single swing to break a window and climb though, or a large man kicking down the door. An intruder could break in and be in our bedroom in 30 seconds easily (we have a small house). I explained that it would be extremely lucky to even have a cop dispatched by that time, nevermind have them actually arrive.
The discussion moved on: she then stated that she thought that my possession of a firearm would make an intruder "nervous" and perhaps make him more likely to shoot me than if I wasn't armed. Yes, she really said that. I explained that an armed intruder wouldn't have a chance to be "nervous". If I actually had an armed intruder approaching us/our bedroom in the house, the most he would get is a quick warning before I shoot him.
I went on to explain that the whole argument was borderline insane because if I were not armed, we would be at the mercy of the intruder or intruders. Let's face it, I'm a big guy but I have no training. A criminal(s) willing to break into a house probably has a lot more fight experience than I, not to mention will likely be armed with some sort of weapon, nevermind a firearm, and nevermind that there may be more than 1 of them. My chances of fending them off is pretty slim and I would likely end up being taken out of comission/killed. Then what is she to do, I inquired? Her response? That she could "take care of herself". I'm pretty sure I burst out laughing at this part. An untrained, unarmed, average-sized woman defending herself from (likely) male criminal(s) who have already defeated me (6'4" 275lbs). Yeah. I informed her that she was drastically overestimating her ability to defend herself unarmed. Her response was basically that in the very rare chance that someone broke in in the night and decided to kill us, then oh well, it was "her time". More or less equating it to the chances of being struck by lightning - in the rarity of the event and the ability of someone to defend against it.
At this point, as you can imagine, I was pretty flabbergasted. At one point, there was a glimmer of hope when she suggested employing a blunt weapon in self-defense. When I inquired about what we should do if they have a gun, the discussion veered back into crazy-land. Apparently, being at the mercy of an intruder and being raped/injured/killed is an acceptable outcome. Wow.
So in summary (Cliff's Notes if you will), I live with a very smart, rational, beautiful woman who believes:
1) A house with normal everyday safety measures is impenetrable.
2) The cops will always show up before the bad guys can get in.
3) Having a firearm in a SD situation will result in you getting shot (not them apparently).
4) An average sized unarmed woman can defend herself from an intruder(s).
5) If an intruder(s) is sufficiently armed, or manages to overcome us, we should just hope he has mercy.
6) Intentionally not arming yourself and then being killed by an intruder(s) is an acceptable outcome due to some sort of fate.
Have any of you run into this? I am completely boggled by the whole thing. It has been bothering me all day at work. I feel that I made a lot of good points (despite my complete disbelief in what I was hearing) but I'm not sure if they were taken to heart. I feel that if I pull up some facts and/or articles about the topics we discussed, that I will be just rubbing it in and make her even more stubborn on the issue.
On a related side note, it has also gotten me thinking about women. Is this a natural viewpoint for your average woman? I started thinking about all of the prominent anti-gunners out there. I couldn't think of 1 man - they are all women. I'm sure there are plenty of anti-gun men out there but it seems like it leans very heavily towards women. Is it just that most women have a natural fear of weapons? Or a natural misunderstanding of how dangerous the world we live in can be?
I realize there are some women on this board so I encourage you to respond and not get offended by my story or questions.
I apologize for the very long post, I wanted to put as much relevant detail into it as I could. I love my girl but MAN am I scratching my head right now.
Dope
First off, a little background:
My girlfriend (who has been living with me for about a year and a half) is hardly an "anti". She literally grew up on a farm in the midwest, has been around guns pretty much all the time. She doesn't have any "problem" with them. I consider her to be extremely logical/rational for a woman, not to mention very intelligent.
I live in a very gun-unfriendly state in New England (take a wild guess) but I have always loved guns and pretty much anything military related. However, living at home at a younger age, I was never allowed to buy or use firearms due to a very worrisome mother. No big deal. Now that I live on my own, I took the required course and got my license to carry (took only 7 months of waiting). My first firearm is going to be a shotgun, mainly for HD purposes. Just the other day I put in an order for it.
The topic of self-defense (mainly focused around SD in the home) came up recently due to a comment I made regarding feeling better (and being able to sleep better) once I finally get the shotgun. Of course, I don't really need to explain to YOU guys why I feel the need for a firearm for self-defense, but the discussion that I ended up in left me baffled!
I don't remember the exact words spoken so I will paraphrase with the occasional quote.
The discussion started with her questioning my need to have a firearm when our house is so locked down (implying that no one could break in). I could tell this would be an odd discussion because as we all know, it is quite easy for someone to break into any "normal" house. Now granted, I consider myself to be a very safety conscious person - I use jackstands when I'm working on my car, I wear safety glasses when working with power tools, I keep fire extinguishers in the house...you know - pretty common sense stuff for your average person who likes to keep on living.
My house has standard deadbolts, and each entrance also has a manual latch for night-time use as well as each window having a keyed lock. The idea of this is that someone wouldn't be able to force a window or pick a lock to get in quietly. They'd have to kick down a door or smash out a window. This would wake me up and give me the few seconds needed to get a firearm. Simple and likely very effective, right? Believe me, I don't go overboard by almost anyone's standards. I don't even have an alarm, or sensor lights outside (okay, but I will probably get both someday!).
Annnyyway, back to the story. I explained all of this to her - how easy it would be for someone to break in, and that the firearm was a very effective method of protection. That moved the discussion in a new direction - why you would need a firearm to protect yourself from an intruder (duh??). Apparently she was under the impression that she could call 911 and have the cops here before someone could successfully break in. I explained that this was fairly ridiculous as all it would take is a single swing to break a window and climb though, or a large man kicking down the door. An intruder could break in and be in our bedroom in 30 seconds easily (we have a small house). I explained that it would be extremely lucky to even have a cop dispatched by that time, nevermind have them actually arrive.
The discussion moved on: she then stated that she thought that my possession of a firearm would make an intruder "nervous" and perhaps make him more likely to shoot me than if I wasn't armed. Yes, she really said that. I explained that an armed intruder wouldn't have a chance to be "nervous". If I actually had an armed intruder approaching us/our bedroom in the house, the most he would get is a quick warning before I shoot him.
I went on to explain that the whole argument was borderline insane because if I were not armed, we would be at the mercy of the intruder or intruders. Let's face it, I'm a big guy but I have no training. A criminal(s) willing to break into a house probably has a lot more fight experience than I, not to mention will likely be armed with some sort of weapon, nevermind a firearm, and nevermind that there may be more than 1 of them. My chances of fending them off is pretty slim and I would likely end up being taken out of comission/killed. Then what is she to do, I inquired? Her response? That she could "take care of herself". I'm pretty sure I burst out laughing at this part. An untrained, unarmed, average-sized woman defending herself from (likely) male criminal(s) who have already defeated me (6'4" 275lbs). Yeah. I informed her that she was drastically overestimating her ability to defend herself unarmed. Her response was basically that in the very rare chance that someone broke in in the night and decided to kill us, then oh well, it was "her time". More or less equating it to the chances of being struck by lightning - in the rarity of the event and the ability of someone to defend against it.
At this point, as you can imagine, I was pretty flabbergasted. At one point, there was a glimmer of hope when she suggested employing a blunt weapon in self-defense. When I inquired about what we should do if they have a gun, the discussion veered back into crazy-land. Apparently, being at the mercy of an intruder and being raped/injured/killed is an acceptable outcome. Wow.
So in summary (Cliff's Notes if you will), I live with a very smart, rational, beautiful woman who believes:
1) A house with normal everyday safety measures is impenetrable.
2) The cops will always show up before the bad guys can get in.
3) Having a firearm in a SD situation will result in you getting shot (not them apparently).
4) An average sized unarmed woman can defend herself from an intruder(s).
5) If an intruder(s) is sufficiently armed, or manages to overcome us, we should just hope he has mercy.
6) Intentionally not arming yourself and then being killed by an intruder(s) is an acceptable outcome due to some sort of fate.
Have any of you run into this? I am completely boggled by the whole thing. It has been bothering me all day at work. I feel that I made a lot of good points (despite my complete disbelief in what I was hearing) but I'm not sure if they were taken to heart. I feel that if I pull up some facts and/or articles about the topics we discussed, that I will be just rubbing it in and make her even more stubborn on the issue.
On a related side note, it has also gotten me thinking about women. Is this a natural viewpoint for your average woman? I started thinking about all of the prominent anti-gunners out there. I couldn't think of 1 man - they are all women. I'm sure there are plenty of anti-gun men out there but it seems like it leans very heavily towards women. Is it just that most women have a natural fear of weapons? Or a natural misunderstanding of how dangerous the world we live in can be?
I realize there are some women on this board so I encourage you to respond and not get offended by my story or questions.
I apologize for the very long post, I wanted to put as much relevant detail into it as I could. I love my girl but MAN am I scratching my head right now.
Dope
) I came home from a deployment to find my S&W Model 25-2 (not my carry gun) on the nightstand. She told me she always put it there when I was gone, so "two guns" was good. Then, tired of the photographer's vest I almost always wore, she told me to buy a new gun at the gun show that I could put in my pocket. 
Really! So, I got a little KelTec P32, and all was good. Then, a neighbor of my mom's was murdered in her home in the middle of the day in a home invasion. My brother and I alternated spending the night with her until she calmed down. At that point my wife stopped complaining about my wearing a gun in the house and stopped making sarcastic remarks about my carrying two (or more) guns when out of the house. She has appropriated my four-inch S&W 681 as hers and keeps it loaded with Remington 125-grain SJHP ammo.
