This is the stuff I have loaded in my AR. "Hornady TAP Personal Defense Ammunition 223 Remington 55 Grain Polymer Tip Point." I read an article at some point a few years ago that recommended it for home defense. I also had a military friend tell me that these would not penetrate as much as a 9mm or 45acp. This is why I included the AR on my list of possibilities.Not the case. Civilian 55gr .223 JHP penetrates less in drywall and gelatin than 9mm JHP, .45 JHP, and 00 buckshot.
The XD is an excellent choice (and handier than a long gun), but it will out-penetrate a .223 AR in anything but metal and Kevlar, unless you are limiting yourself to FMJ in the AR for some reason.
In response to CB900F, I do have neighbors on both sides within 100-200 feet. Most of the homes are wood frame, sheet rock, and vinyl siding.
Thanks for all the input.