Haiku Schmaiku

[Squidward]

The 'Gun Haiku" is nice but it just somehow falls short of good old Doc Suess. To me, it seems better when it rhymes. So, here is my offering;

A Garand with its ping is a glorious thing
Some loaded enblocs and you're ready to rock
With much history- it's easy to see
Why most think that this rifle is king.

 

[ceetee]

"Not AK, nor G3, nor AR-15
(Nor anything else that I've ever seen)
Is nearly as fun as this old machine,
The Garand is better than any old thing..."

 

[StopTheGrays]

Haikus are just lame
A waste of valuable time
In before the lock



And I followed the 5-7-5 format, Ha!

 

[noresttill]

Pow, then "ZING!"
A horrible thing

I shant ever do that again.

This one thing I'll keep
till my bones are old,
"Don't leave the bench
till the gun range is cold"

Jesse

 

[pax]

Poetry that rhymes, eh? Wrote this one awhile back...

Advice to a New Gun Owner

You picked out a weapon -- good! Now go train.
Go learn how to use it to hit where you aim.
Learn when you can shoot and when you must not,
Learn how to clear jams and make a fast shot.

But do not believe that your skill at arms
Means that you never again could face harm.
The world is still ugly, and your thousand yard stare
Might be unseen by the chump over there.
Don't fuss and don't quibble and don't worry about it.
Just carry your handgun. Don't leave home without it.

And when the battle comes down, as battles must do,
To a clash of the wills between the bad guy and you,
Your will must be stronger than the evil you face
The mere fact of the gun will not take its place.

Far more decisive than the caliber's name
Or the shape of the gun or the size of its frame
Is the knowledge and skill that choose point of aim.
(Misses with guns big and small are the same!)

The gun that you carry strapped firm to your side
Might hold some of your hope and all of your pride
But it isn't your weapon: the fire in your eyes
And the wiliest schemes your mind can devise
Are far more important than the brand of your gun,
And far more important than how fast you can run.

What carries the day when the battle is nigh,
Is the Will that refuses simply to give up and die --
The Will that commands your eye not to blink,
And forces paralyzed mind to nonetheless think --
The Will that requires your aim still be true
No matter what damage may terrify you.
So I'll say it again, though I sound like a fool:
Your Will is the weapon. Your gun is a tool.

Your gun may save the day; then again, it may not.
But if a brand name and caliber are all that you've got
The game's already over and your life may be done --
For you still are not armed. You're just holding a gun.

pax

A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits. -- Robert Heinlein

 

[HCfan]

PAX,

Hey, that's good. Mind if I cut and paste to hand out? Who should I give credit to? (your computer name PAX or ?) if I get your permission.

 

[mustanger98]

Haikus are just lame
A waste of valuable time
In before the lock

Pax is a moderator, she posted... do you notice this thread still ain't locked? Just when you think you've seen it all concerning people who can't enjoy something or at least let others enjoy, here comes yet another wet blanket.

 

[pax]

HCfan ~

Glad you like it. If you would like to pass it along, I'd rather you just sent them to where it's up on my site, http://www.corneredcat.com/Poetry/Advice.htm

Thanks.

pax

 

[pax]

<moderator hat on>

As long as the poetic efforts remain gun-related, the discussion will remain on topic.

As long as the on-topic discussion remains civil and polite, the thread will remain open.

</moderator hat off>

pax

 

[noresttill]

This thread will stay open,
to pax I say "YEAH!"
So lets keep it gun related,
and keep it that way!


....................


I am ninja,
of the mall clan.

I wait for you
to be in my land.

Then I will strike
on that AC'ed road.

Aren't you glad
you have six reloads?

...........................

Jesse

 

[sm]

.

 

[rbernie]

Ode to an hunting AR-15

I love my black rifle
I love it a lot
I love to consume
the game it has shot.

My little black rifle,
they say it's too small.
But dang, them poor deer
get shot and they fall.

It's black and its ugly
and it doesn't look square
to a hunter that's used
to more traditional fare.

It goes bang every time
and its easy to wield.
It lets me train with the
tool that I use in the field.

 

[Squidward]

rbernie, Nicely done!

 

[kd7nqb]

Well all owe some thanks to Pax for leaving this open some other moderators COUGH COUGH PM ME IF YOU DONT KNOW WHO I AM TALKING ABOUT, seem to lock every thread that even varies. Anyway thats not what this thread is about just wanted to thank PAX for being awsome.

 

[sm]

rbernie,

You done good!

 

[sm]

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[sm]

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[sm]

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[sm]

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[Bobhwry]

Oh, my God!! This forum has been reduced to poetic dribble!! You have taken the definition of " firearms related" to the extreme!!
No, info just Iambic Pantameter nonsense!!

 

[sm]

No problem.
One person is going to use one I deleted for a poster, I suppose, since they asked for my permission to do so.

 

[Squidward]

"You have taken the definition of " firearms related" to the extreme!!"

We thank you for the compliment

 

[Preacherman]

With apologies to William Shakespeare and his Sonnet 116:

Let me not to the safety of guns
Admit impediments. Guns are not safe
When altered by the Dremel-wielding dork
Who grinds away what should be left unscathed:
O no! It is in original form
That the weapon functions as intended;
It is the jewel in every gunsmith's crown
To improve, but not harm operation.
Guns aren't for fools to tinker with and play
Pretending they know, when in truth they don't.
Harm them not, lest mayhap they bring to thee
A "click!" when "Bang!" thou urgently desire;
The criminal thus escapeth his just fate
Whilst thou suffer what thou shouldst not befall.
If this be error and upon thee proved,
Thou livest no more, and thy guns are lost.

 

[mustanger98]

Hey, now there's two Moderators in on it.

And IMO both Pax and Preacherman have posted some real good stuff.

 

[Geronimo45]

The Ballad of a Mall Ninja (from the Ballad of Irving)

He was short, and fat, and came out of the door on the west,
With ballistic plates taped on a tactical vest.
He was tough and tactical right clear through,
Which was kind of weird, 'cause he was a rent-a-cop, too.
They called him Gecko.
Big Gecko.
Big Short Gecko.
Big Short Fat Gecko.
The master of all Mall Ninjas - in the west.

He came from the old Ninjitsu spread,
With a ten-gallon trauma plate on his head.
He always followed his mother's wishes -
Even in the mall he didn't shoot the dishes.
Gecko.
Big Fat Gecko.
Big Gunman Gecko.
The master of all Mall Ninjas - in the west.

One day Bad Max happened into the Gap,
His aim was to shut Fat Gecko's trap.
Bad Max said "Draw! You draw right now!"
And Gecko drew a picture of a tactical cow.
Gecko.
Big Fat Gecko.
Big Gunman Gecko.
The master of all Mall Ninjas - in the west.

The Terrorists were comin' to the mall at first sun,
And the cops said 'Gecko, we need your gun.'
When that minivan pulled in at the break of dawn,
Gecko's Glock was there, but Gecko was gone.
Gecko.
Big Fat Gecko.
Big Hero Gecko.
The master of all Mall Ninjas - in the west.

Well finally, Gecko got three slugs in the belly.
It was right outside the Ninja Sushi Deli.
He was sittin' there, twirling his gun around,
And butterfingers Gecko gunned himself down.
Gecko.
Big Fat Gecko.
Big Ninja Gecko.
The master of all Mall Ninjas - in the west.