Corporal K
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I teach concealed carry/intro pistol and I have noticed that some ladies respond better when their man is not the one teaching them.
Help me help her
- Thread starter Bullnettles
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Freedom_fighter_in_IL
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Wow, and we wonder why there aren't more female shooters? It is this attitude that gets in the way. To the several that responded with this same type of answer, you guys should seek professional help. I have taken my S.O. to the range many times and have absolutely no difficulty at all teaching her. Same with archery as well. If you have a dominating attitude towards women then it is not the womens fault that you cant teach them. It is your own. Treat your S.O. as an equal with compassion and not looking down at them. Never forget that behind every great man is a great woman. Either his wife or his mother! Some of you men need to learn this great lesson in life and come to realize while yes we are different, we are in no way better.
I've recently introduced my girlfriend to shooting. I "made" her shoot the same bulk ammo that I generally shoot from my Buckmark. Of course this resulted in FTFs, FTEs, etc. These problems were initially very frustrating, intimidating, and uncomfortable for her to deal with ("I've got a malfuntioning gun ready to blow up in my hands!!! 
"). I stayed close behind her on the line for many sessions, ready to coach or "steer" the muzzle as necessary (steering never was). The close contact eased up as she got more and more comfortable. She doesn't skip a beat these days.
She now has her own Buckmark and agrees with me that she'd rather go through a brick of the cheap stuff and deal with a few failures than get to shoot "only" 100 rounds. We've got seven mags between us and a speedloader and can really terrorize some paper.
I'll add-- swapping to a new platform brings her unease right back. She picks up my 1911s and treats them like foreign objects, despite the similarity in controls. I ain't gonna push that one too much though as I can only afford so much .45 ammo
.
I've found in taking new shooters to the range that it makes both of us much more comfortable if we go over the operation of the guns to be used at home, before going to the range-- no ammo, no loud noises to distract, no "experts" to be embarrassed in front of. This is preceeded and followed by the 4 rules (of which I've found "finger off the trigger" is hardest for the new shooters).
Too long a post, but my 2 cents. I don't think you did anything "wrong", just not the "right" way for her, maybe.
"). I stayed close behind her on the line for many sessions, ready to coach or "steer" the muzzle as necessary (steering never was). The close contact eased up as she got more and more comfortable. She doesn't skip a beat these days.She now has her own Buckmark and agrees with me that she'd rather go through a brick of the cheap stuff and deal with a few failures than get to shoot "only" 100 rounds. We've got seven mags between us and a speedloader and can really terrorize some paper
.I'll add-- swapping to a new platform brings her unease right back. She picks up my 1911s and treats them like foreign objects, despite the similarity in controls. I ain't gonna push that one too much though as I can only afford so much .45 ammo
. I've found in taking new shooters to the range that it makes both of us much more comfortable if we go over the operation of the guns to be used at home, before going to the range-- no ammo, no loud noises to distract, no "experts" to be embarrassed in front of. This is preceeded and followed by the 4 rules (of which I've found "finger off the trigger" is hardest for the new shooters).
Too long a post, but my 2 cents. I don't think you did anything "wrong", just not the "right" way for her, maybe.
Six
Member
I don't think it is a dominating or misogynistic attitude in this case. I think it is more a matter of emotional distance, just like people say you shouldn't teach your own children to drive. Each couple's dynamic is different and in some cases one person's teaching style does not match with the other person's learning style, which I think is what happened with the OP.
That said, I'm married to Six and I'm a female shooter. He's a smart guy, a good shooter, and I respect his opinions, but after mastering the safety and operational aspects under his guidance I have preferred to learn on my own (or from the people I shoot cowboy action with since they've much more experience in the matter than either of us has).
-T
I have given step by step AR15 instructions to at least two individuals that should have known how to operate the weapon (one is retired law enforcement, the other active duty military), but they asked, so I showed them. I'm never going to tell someone to 'just figure it out' when live ammo is concerned.
R
R
Old krow
Member
To the OP, unless I missed it, how much experience did you say that she had? I might have overlooked it.
Same here. IMHO you're looking at it wrong, sort of comparing apples to cornflakes so-to-speak. If you're a mechanical thinker that's great, but that doesn't mean she is. That's all that means, don't read anymore into it than that... unless you're planning on going into battle tomorrow. Mine goes with or without me now. We still go together and she still asks me a lot of questions. I still answer them, and she still lets me know if she's uncomfortable with something. (she just doesn't speak "guy" as well as some of us) If she is unfamiliar with a platform or a particular gun she's going to say something to me. What she's telling me is (and if I'm wrong just let me go on thinking this because the end result is the same) "I am unsure of this weapon, but I trust you to show me how to properly and safely operate it."
Uh huh.
She probably has a pretty good handle on them though, and sometimes it pays off to just trust them. IMO stay focused on safety and let her learn at her pace. She has shown that she trusts you otherwise this all would have went very different. Continue to keep her trust and have fun doing it. The important thing is a solid foundation on safety. If she keeps shooting her confidence will build, it might take a while, but it will. You would be doing both of you an injustice if you held her to the same standards as others.
The way that you approach that situation is completely up to you because I do not have to live through it no matter what the choice, but, if you think that you would not be as effective then maybe you should consider it as an option. And since it seems to be YOU with the most experience, aside from her acknowledging her ability to learn from you (because she understands the dynamics of relationships infinitely more than any mortal man does) you should, IMHO, (not implying anything, just stating) be able to recognize what she needs as a shooter and your ability to meet those needs. Later on she might just say so one way or the other.
Good luck to the both of you
Same here. IMHO you're looking at it wrong, sort of comparing apples to cornflakes so-to-speak. If you're a mechanical thinker that's great, but that doesn't mean she is. That's all that means, don't read anymore into it than that... unless you're planning on going into battle tomorrow. Mine goes with or without me now. We still go together and she still asks me a lot of questions. I still answer them, and she still lets me know if she's uncomfortable with something. (she just doesn't speak "guy" as well as some of us) If she is unfamiliar with a platform or a particular gun she's going to say something to me. What she's telling me is (and if I'm wrong just let me go on thinking this because the end result is the same) "I am unsure of this weapon, but I trust you to show me how to properly and safely operate it."
Uh huh.
She probably has a pretty good handle on them though, and sometimes it pays off to just trust them. IMO stay focused on safety and let her learn at her pace. She has shown that she trusts you otherwise this all would have went very different. Continue to keep her trust and have fun doing it. The important thing is a solid foundation on safety. If she keeps shooting her confidence will build, it might take a while, but it will. You would be doing both of you an injustice if you held her to the same standards as others.
The way that you approach that situation is completely up to you because I do not have to live through it no matter what the choice, but, if you think that you would not be as effective then maybe you should consider it as an option. And since it seems to be YOU with the most experience, aside from her acknowledging her ability to learn from you (because she understands the dynamics of relationships infinitely more than any mortal man does) you should, IMHO, (not implying anything, just stating) be able to recognize what she needs as a shooter and your ability to meet those needs. Later on she might just say so one way or the other.
Good luck to the both of you
I try to never to teach my significant other anything, from shooting, dance, anything. No matter how qualified an instructor in the subject, I hire a pro. It's well worth it in the home harmony department.
FWIW - I do think you were to much of a hard @$$ on her. And, that's a hard mistake to overcome. In my experience a bad experience with something that is intimidating usually means no more! In her mind. So good luck overcoming it. Might I suggest flowers, and if that doesn't work you'll have to pull out the big gun of jewelry.
FWIW - I do think you were to much of a hard @$$ on her. And, that's a hard mistake to overcome. In my experience a bad experience with something that is intimidating usually means no more! In her mind. So good luck overcoming it. Might I suggest flowers, and if that doesn't work you'll have to pull out the big gun of jewelry.
Guillermo
member
I can attest that this statement is 100% correct. His lovely lady is a good student and has the basics to become a great shot.
Like most relationships he is the exact wrong person to teach her.
And he is a wise man to recognize that.
Dan...tell J I said "hi"
Better yet, let her pick out a gun, if she's ready, and she's interested, and you buy it. I definitely know women who would take a gun over jewelry or flowers anyday. Let it be HER gun, not the one you think she should have. If you do this, don't offer advice unless she asks you, and make sure she shoots it before you buy it for her. We'll get another good thread out of it. Good luck.
This.
Old krow
Member
Both never hurt
HappyHunting
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Dog. House.
Bullnettles
Member
Well, talked to her yesterday, and it was a mixture of everyone's advice. She wants to learn one at a time until she has it down pat, then move to another. I've learned one AR is different to her than another, so I'll be teaching her on the scoped one for ease of shot placement and no lifting. She wants to go over everything beforehand every time we head out there, and is ok with me doing it. If I hit a snag, I'll definitely be seeking a pro, but she sounds willing to learn and I'll do whatever she asks. I'll revive the thread once I get back out there with her, which could be this weekend.
Red Cent
Member
Bullnettles, had to smile but felt for you at the same time. I think we all qualified you as chauvinistic real quick. And you are right. Words. Don't hold it against the mob.
Good luck, Bullnettles. You learned a couple of things about what to do differently with her. And you learned that mentioning something online with shooting, and a woman, and there are gonna be people coming out of the woodworks to protect said woman (even though it sounds like she can hold her own). It's worked into the blood sometimes and it's okay, even useful, but a hot topic for a thread.
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