Mr. Gay,
What has been posted regarding slide actuation is good information. Are the pistols you tried 9mm or .40 S&W? The recoil spring in the .40 is several pounds heavier than the 9mm. That said, shooting a few hundred rounds does make it somewhat easier. Also, Wes's advice regarding exercise is good. Technique is a third variable. When I first started shooting 1911 Governemnt Models, I had the same trouble the first time or two. I learned through trial and error a couple of things. First, hold the pistol grip in your dominant hand, as if you were preparing to fire it, grasp the top and sides of the slide between the front and rear sights with your non-dominant hand, and then hold the non-dominant hand firm while shoving the dominant hand toward it. In effect, you will be moving/shoving the frame while holding the slide stationary. It works quite well, and once you realize how easy it is to perform, you will find it becomes easier to actuate the action by pulling the slide back with your hand. Many folks I run across fail to appreciate how much strength they need to apply to retract the slide that first time, and unable to accomplish that, believe, albeit unrealistically (usually), that they can not perform that action. What they do not realize is that they only need to apply a little more strength and that there is a technique to even the traditional method of slide retraction.
Second, regarding the thumb safety, an extended tab can be put on a BHP safety. I had Don Williams, of The Action Works (
www.theactionworks.com), do mine for the grand sum of 39 dollars. It is quite well done, used my original, already fitted safety lever, and looks nicer than the Cylinder and Slide product, in my opinion. Good luck, sir.
Sincerely,
Michael