I see in your second post that you are talking about reacting aggressively (your word) to a threat rather than side-stepping it. The problem is the same, and thankfully you recognize the problem and are therefore asking how to best change. Recognition of the problem is a huge step in the right direction. A lot of guys never see the problem until they have a lot of free time to reflect on it. There are some places that give a young aggressive man the time to reflect on his behavior and perhaps change it. Popular spots include a courtroom, jail, prison, intensive care units, and the morgue. There was a time when I was the same sort of young man. I understand where you are coming from. I don't want to sit here and keyboard anaylze you, so I will analyze myself. I wanted to test my limits, find out what I was capable of, accomplish what I thought was a win. I didn't care if I ended up bloody or battered. I didn't have family or responsibilities. In a nutshell, I was living in the moment, striving to do what I thought was right, and willing to fight to accomplish it. Call it maintaining proficiency if you like. I think overall, it's a maturity thing, and also something we gain from military service that doesn't translate well to civilian life. Over time, I saw other young men much like myself get stabbed, shot, crippled and killed. That didn't bother me much, or rather, it didn't slow me down much. I knew my mortality, I just didn't care. Then I got married and had children. I knew how quickly my imagined invulnerability could change to a life changing injury or death from seeing it happen to friends. I grew up an orphan. I did not want my children to grow up as I did, without a father. My decision to be a father outweighed my ego. That did it for me. I chose survival. I would do what it took for me and mine to survive these situations as unscathed as possible. I highly recommend that you read Marc MacYoung's work. Purchase a few of his books on street survival. Go to one of his classes or seminars if you can. I don't think anyone can argue that Animal is not one of the most competent street fighters alive today. He will tell you the most important thing is to know when to fight and when not to. He is an advocate for fighting when necessary and settling a dispute over a beer when you can. There is no doubt that Marc can and will crack skulls, but he will be the first to tell you that if he has to fight, he did not handle the situation appropriately. Consider learning to de-escalate and resolve conflict nonviolently to be a skill you are deficient in. It can be a new tool to add to your defensive portfolio for when you have neither the time or inclination to duke it out. Then set about learning how to do it. If you believe you already know how to do it, then learn how to apply it to challenging situations. Finally, I recommend that you ride along with some EMTs or do a bit of night work in the ER. When you see people shot, cut up, maimed and killed because they fought when they could have de-escalated and walked away, your perspective changes. I hope your wife and family will become important enough to you that you will work towards adding these skills to your tool box. Sorry for the long post, there are no easy answers. Sometimes it's just how we are wired, and we need to reroute a few circuits and install some additional software. PM me if you like, don't expect me to be convinced that unnecessary aggression is the right response though.