I had a confrontation today...do you think I handled it well?

[SilentStalker]

Ok I am going to make this as concise as possible. I recently got a new job and today I was scheduled for my orientation which was located in a bad areaof town, well not necessarily really bad bu not good. This is an area that I am not keen on leaving my car in so I rode down there with a friend of mine that happened to be going to the same side of town today, besides this conserved gas so...! Anyways orientation began at 9 a.m. and everything was going well, then during a video I got up to use the bathroom. Well, I came back like 2 minutes later and everyone was gone except the instructor. She informed me that she just let everyone else out for lunch. I was planning on hitching a ride with someone from my orientation to get something to eat since I did not have my car but I never got the chance to do so and it turns out everyone went their own seperate ways at lunch anyways which I found amazing since gas is like $3.10 a gallon here. Anyways, as I stated everyone had gone by the time I get out of the bathroom. So, I was like, "Well I guess I will just walk to get something to eat since there was an Arby's not too far away.

Ok so at this point everything is cool and I begin my hike to the local Arby's. On the way I decided to call my g/f on my cell phone and talk a little while on my hike. Now on the way to the Arby's is a local Hooters. Now keep in mind I am just walking by talking on my phone to my g/f and I hear someone yell out something so naturally I look over there and this guy kept saying something and I thought it might be someone I know so I stand there talking on my phone trying to get a better look at this guy as I had to wait on the light to change to cross the road anyways. Well, I thought this dude was talking to me and it turns out in a round about way I was right. While I am standing there this tool runs up behind me and starts yelling *** are you looking at you pussy. I am like ***, I am sitting here minding my own damn business and I glance over there and this tool gets all pissed off. So, I calmly explain to him that I thought that he was talking to me and I thought I might know him so naturally I looked at him, my bad. Then he is like egging it on and saying crap like this is my Hooter's you pussy b****and you need to get the "F" off my parking lot, etc. etc. etc. This dude gets right up in my face, like 3 inches away, I def. felt threatened, but I decide to try and let it go and start walking off. Then he screams out, "Yeah that's right you pussy MF'er you need to start walking better yet start running before I put my MFing foot up you ass." I just kept walking casually, then he started following me. Eventually he left me alone but I am wondering if I handled this situation ok or if I could have handled it a little better some other way. I know turning my back to him was not the brightest idea but I was trying to deesculate the situation. Now keep in mind I have to hike back up this way to get back to my class so that was interesting but it turns out he was gone on my way back.

Now the sad thing is that there were all kinds of people in the parking lot and it seemed like nobody cared or they just did not know what was going on. Then again, they could have been laughing at this tool for what he was doing but I def. felt threatened and I am surprised I handled the situation that nicely as I am not one to piss off or scare or back into a corner. If I get put into that situation I don't care how much bodily harm I might cause to someone else, I care about defending myself or the innocent people around me, not how I could have handled the situation in a less lethal manner. What is interesting is that I assumed this clown was drunk but I have a strong sniffer and never smelt anything on his breathe even when he was 3 inches away. Also, I keep wondering why he chose me to attack when the Hooter's parking lot was full of other people. I don't know but I didn't like being in that situation so tommorrow I will be driving LOL. So, did I handle this situation reasonably or not? Was I the bigger man here? It has been roughly 7 hours now and I am still thinking about it. Damn it I hate people like that. Anyways let me know your thoughts.

 

[Rigby470]

Sounds like you were calm, cool and collected. What more can anyone ask? If you had said anything to him it would have probably escalated into much more since it sounds like he was trying to push you there anyway.

You were cool and level-headed in a tense situation. A+

 

[mosbourn]

You did well.

Personally, I think you handled the situation with maturity and demonstrated wonderful patience. There are A**holes everywhere and you were able to go about your business with little more than an annoyance. This guy was probably not dangerous, but because of the way you handled it, you did not have to find out. Good job, just remember the face.

All in all, I think he was having a much worse day than you ended up having.

 

[hobbeeman]

You were definately the bigger man.

I think that the fact that you were carrying concealed gave you the confidence and security that you needed to remain as calm as you did.

Good job.
David

 

[silverbull]

its sounds like he may have had a little to much to drink at hooters,

 

[Declaration Day]

If I were in your position I would not have let him get so close. Otherwise, good job.

 

[SilentStalker]

I wasn't carrying concealed LOL. I wish I was as I would have felt a lot more comfy. As far as him being drunk that is what I thought but I never got the stench of alcohol on his breathe and believe me I have a strong sniffer so...! Ijust don't know. It just bothers me that I cannot figure out why he singled me out.

 

[Phantom Warrior]

It's always tricky because you never know what might have happened. But you walked away without problems. I'd say you did just fine.

 

[rocky]

Ohter than the close proximity you did good. If there were witnesses, it would be good to speak up, "say I don't want to fight" or something similar. But be prepared to beat him down.

 

[R127]

I love these situations, I've been in a few myself. The true beauty of it is everybody tells you to "be the bigger man" and let it go. The irony here is these foul troglodytes only exist in our society because we are at heart effeminate pantywaists who don't take out the trash. It is stupid and pathetic and liberals are probably in love with the idea.

I always carry pepperspray when I carry a gun, so I don't have to shoot people that don't need to be shot but need to be stopped. I don't like the idea of getting a stranger's diseased blood on me and the pepper spray gives a decent chance of everybody avoiding real dammage.

As to whether or not you did the right thing, only you can answer that. I've done the same thing you have. OTOH, it is actually grossly irresponsible from a societal perspective. Probably the best possible response would be a collective group of peers at the restaurant very gingerly, very lovingly, dragging the wee beastie out of the building and off the grounds and telling him to stay away if that's his attitude. Anything else is just making him someone else's problem or simply permitting violently and vulgarly antisocial behavior as normal in our society. That's actually kind of sick.

Our society is extremely sick. There is no notion of what is culturally acceptable and what is not, and there is not nearly enough consequences for people who willfully and agressively breach the peace. There is little concept of concrete right and wrong, very little upon which to build a civilization.

 

[mountainclmbr]

Pepper spray would be good. Pepper spray followed by some social work is better. "you threaten me... blam, blam, blam" means that no one else has their life threatened is best. I had a home invasion by a real creep. I should have shot him as he charged me. He turned and ran. He was only a foot away when he ran. I had my revolver trigger 90% pulled. I always wonder how many lives this creep has taken in the 20 years since this happened. The LEO refused to investigate unless I surrendered MY gun.

 

[Geno]

Not Bad--You Walked Away. Just Don't Let Them So Close!

It's easy for me to sit here, 26 years of being a licensed instructor of 2 styles of TKD and of Judo and say don't let them get so close. That may or may not be so easily done.

For me, it's completely conditioned response. They get too close, and well, I don't know which technique will come off, but I assure you based on multiple experiences in self-defense, of me and of others, it ALWAYS works. If they get too close, they can hurt you. Also, you can't scan their body. bad choice.

Last guy to do this to me, to make a long story short, asked me, "You wanna take this outside?!"

My sole response--"You'll never make it to the door!"

His buddy, seeing I was dead serious pulled him back. And I was serious! But, you better be ready and able to back your words with action.

So, again I say, sure, you walked away. Just be careful where you go and try never to go alone. Oh, why were you not CCWing? Get some pepper spray at the minimum.

I'm glad things worked out for you!

God bless,

Doc2005

P.S. Sounds like life in Detroit!

 

[joab]

Personally I would have hit him.
So yes you were the bigger man.

You got back to your orientation for your new job and he'll still be drunk at his Hooters tomorrow.

 

[Robert Hairless]

You were talking on a cell phone while walking along a public street. The street was in an unfamiliar neighborhood. The neighborhood was in what you consider a bad part of town. When somebody shouted at you from a Hooters, you stopped but continued to talk on your cell phone, and you argued with him while he did the preliminary steps to the Dance of Death and you continued to maintain the cell phone connection.

I forgot the question.

 

[SilentStalker]

^^^Trust me LOL that will not happen again. Not only was that bad because that allowed him to get closer to me, but it was also bad because that tied up one of my good arms. However, I must admit I had no intentions of starting anything unless absolutely necessary as I need this job I just started and going to jail on orientation day for protecting myself just did not seem like a good way to start a job. So, again I did all I could to avoid the conflict. Personally, I think he was just spouting off as he was most likely escorted out of the building by some bigger bouncers in front of some women so in order to get his so called manhood back he decides to spout of to the innocent bystanders to make his ass feel better. If I had to do it all again and I had my right hand free I would have given him a quick jab to the throat which would have easily left him wondering what hit him while he fell to the ground gasping for air. However, it seems I always come up with stuff like this after the situation has long past. I admit staying on the phone was stupid on my part and it will not happen again. What sucks is I have to go back to this part of town tommorrow. Yahoo! What a joy this will be.

 

[buck00]

That is crappy situation to be in SilentStalker.

You did the right thing. I've "taken the high road" before and backed down in situations like that.... and sometimes your pride bothers you later on. :banghead: If your pride is still bothering you as you go over the incident in your mind, consider what could have happened: he gets in your face, you swing, break his jaw.... LEOs show up and are not sympathetic, you go to jail, later on your get sued. It is a whole different world now. You did the right thing.

This loser can remain the king of the downtown hooters parking lot while you remain a free man. You have a job and thus you don't have to loiter in the middle of the day and declare sovereignty over a f---ing parking lot! You did the right thing SilentStalker.

 

[Kevlarman]

If you've got to use the phone and scan your surroundings, get a headset.

Nothing worse than running away from a bunch of guys with one hand on your weapon and the other hand fiddling with the phone.

 

[JohnKSa]

The outcome says you did ok. If you learn from it, you did well.

"Why me?" isn't a particularly useful question although it's a common first reaction. You just happened to be there. What you want to know is how to keep it from happening again, and how to react so as to minimize your danger.

 

[gunsmith]

it's not your pride that is bothering you

it's probably a chemical reaction to getting an adrenaline rush and not
fighting or flighting.

Do you ccw? I guess if I was at oriatation at a new job
I might leave my gun at the car that one time, but I would still have my three inch crkt with me.

It's probably time to get an everyday carry knife, good pepper spray and a CCW

 

[orangeninja]

You did a good job. Couple of pointers though.

A.) Never turn your back on danger. I know you want to, I know you think it may even de-escalate the problem, but it can also put you at a distinct disadvantage.

B.) Verbal Judo, sounds like you did some of this. Good job.

C.) When someone gets that close, it's easy to say here in my comfy seat to "not let them get that close" but when someone is determined to do so, then they will unless you're gonna run....so see item D.

D.) If they get that close, "blade" them. Meaning, step forward with your weak foot stading at a kind of side ways stance, like your getting ready to box. This position keeps you from being caught off balance, provides leverage, keeps you from being sucker punched in the face as easily, allows you to lean into or away from an attack, makes the bad guy move to one side to square up, etc. Lots of benefits, few drawbacks.

E.) If you must create space walk/shuffle in circles, which sounds stupid but if you could see it work you'd be convinced. Essentially this keeps someone from squaring off on you and keeps their center of gravity from getting set. When they get ready to throw a punch/especially if drunk, they are going to want to plant their feet for support and stabilization, walking in a circle prevents this and makes it obvious when an attack is coming, unless they throw a wild-ass haymaker off balance, which though scary, is fairly ineffectual.

F.) Remember, even with all the cool tricks, tactics and weapons in the world you can still lose a fight, so a fight avoided is a fight won.

Lastly, everyone should learn a couple of self defense moves and practice them. You don't have to be strong or quick to perform a devastating brachial stun.......I've heard of 110 women knocking 220lb men unconcious with this. Shoving works surprisingly well too if you are of the approximate size and weight or greater of your opponant. You won't win by shoving but you can keep someone off balance for a good while or take them to the ground. Just think high school football, place your hands on the opponant and drive forward making quick shoving actions....you may get hit, but not real hard if he can't square.........anyhow....I'm just jibber jabbering away.......I'll shut up.

 

[chas_martel]

SilentStalker, you did OK, not fighting is usually the best move. This
is the real world, not TV or a playground.

R127, your post is worthy of its own Thread, you are correctomundo
about our society.

 

[ravencon]

It is vermin encounters like this that demonstrate the need for a proactive eugenics policy.

 

[WayneConrad]

Hands-Free is not a solution

A hands-free setup would free up a hand, but not the mind. Talking on the phone occupies a significant part of the awareness one needs to stay safe.

 

[ALHunter]

I'm trying to think where there is an Arby's and a Hooters close to each other. Were you near the Hooters off Oporto Madrid Blvd? That area has gone to hell. Good job. Stay aware and be safe if you are going back there for work.

 

[mmike87]

I think you nearly aced it. You did nothing to escalate the situation, and ultimately walked away. Had it gone south from there, and you had been forced to defend yourself, I think (hope) that you'd be in a good legal position, all things considered.

I'd echo the suggestions that it's great that you successfully disengaged, however you should do so without turning your back on them. If the guy had really been something more than a d**k head on some power trip you could have been in trouble.