Drizzt
Member
I was reading an article on parenting (I have no idea why....) and this example that the Dr. used just jumped out at me....
full article is here: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9991049/
Situation #1
Your six-year-old son wants to play with the kid down the block who appears to be a ballistics expert. He always seems to be in the front yard shooting cans with his BB gun, owns three (count them, three) fake hand grenades and brags that his father has rifles in the house. You have a standing family rule for all of your kids that guns, even toy ones, are off-limits. Your child, who has recently become interested in all things military, accuses you of being unfair. “How come he can play with guns and I can’t? All of the boys in first grade own them and I just want to go down to his house and play. It’s no big deal!”
What to do? First, be sure that you’ve listened to your son’s entire argument, and if there’s room for compromise, do it. Perhaps you can allow his friend to come to your house to play with your son’s toys and games — it may turn out that the lure is not really the play weapons, but his buddy’s fun presence. If so, having him engage in non-weapon play may actually help him to broaden his horizons and become a friend to many other kids also.
Draw the line in the sand. If your son insists on playing at his friend’s house, you may have to stand firm on this one. Not only would your child be playing with toy guns (against your family rule), but there’s also the real possibility that the buddy’s dad owns and stores at least one real gun in the home. Explain to your kid that his being around a real gun is intolerable and that he can’t visit any home if a gun is present.
Call the other parent to check on the reality of the situation. Never, ever be reticent to inquire about real or toy weapons. It’s not only your right, but also your responsibility, to know if the kids will have access to BB guns, toy bows and arrows or other play weapons. Many families do not allow their children to play with toy weapons, as the parents believe that these toys are “gateways” to the real McCoy, or that playing with a toy bow and arrow can be dangerous. If a weapon-free environment (be it toy or real) is part of your family’s code of values then this issue is most likely worth digging in your heels. Don’t beat around the bush. I’ve found that it’s usually best to be direct and forward about this issue. Ask the boy's mom or dad if they possess a gun and how it is stored. If you feel even the least bit uncomfortable with the answer — don’t allow your child to visit their home. It’s just not worth your worry and the possibility of injury. Perhaps the weapon can be removed during your child’s visit, but many folks won’t go to the trouble to do so, or you may have doubts that they will actually follow-through with the temporary removal. And, there’s still the issue of the boys playing with the toy guns — something that may be just as difficult to control or curtail.
full article is here: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9991049/