Is it feminine to be prepared to defend yourself?

[MachIVshooter]

The right to defend oneself is a HUMAN right, and applies equally to all men and women of all races. A woman willing to use training or a weapon in self defense simply means that she is unwilling to comply with the steroetype of the defenseless mugging/rape/kidnapping victim. Personally, I find more assertive women who charge themselves with this duty more attractive.

Mind you, the ones who closely resemble KGB muscle soldiers with butch haircuts, fatigues and anti-male tank tops are in a different league and have definitely sacrificed feminity (and this seems to be the objective).

Women who defend themselves and women who try to mimic men are in two very different categories, and there is a very distinctive line.

My wife has a staggering shoe collection, sells Mary Kay on the side and loves "pretty" things. She also has pepper spray on her keychain and a Kel-Tec P-32 and in her purse.

My sister is a bit more intimidating to many men, driving a 2006 Dodge Ram QQ 2500 Cummins with 6 speed manual and working two part-time jobs; one as a waitress, the other at the counter of a local gun store (she's still in college). But she'll still wear a dress on more formal dinner outings, with her P-11 in a handbag. And she'll still break down in tears when things fall apart. Her problem has never been finding boyfriends, just finding ones that don't get scared and run away once they get to know her (and me ).

 

[Mr White]

There's nothing un-feminine about a woman being able to defend herself, or being prepared to defend herself.

But, if she's at the range practicing and is standing at the line scratching her crotch, that might come across as slightly un-feminine.

I think for most of us male gunnies, the idea of a woman with a gun is not only feminine, but downright sexy, unless, of course, she happens to be pointing that gun at you. But even then it still might be somewhat sexy.

It'd be interesting to see this poll given to a sampling of the population in general to see the results for a more representative cross-section of society (non-gunnies and gunnies together).

 

[Mandirigma]

Voted after reading post #10

 

[mike101]

No, it doesn't make a woman less femanine. It's hot.

 

[308win]

Being prepared to defend oneself has nothing to do with gender.

 

[Green Lantern]

I don't see how gender can be attached to such a concept.

My first thoughts as well. I'm all about self-defense, and I don't think I'M feminine.

But for a member of the other sex to have the defense mindset - like mike101, I guess I find it attractive (yeah, HOT! ) - and thus maybe the woman more feminine?

But on the other hand, I can be ogling a hot woman and have someone come up and say "Yeah, she's with IANSA" and well...THAT would be a buzz-kill. But though she would instantly become FAR less attractive - would she be less "feminine?"

Gah, I'm confused. I think my final answer is that it's a "common sense" thing, NOT a gender thing.

EDIT - Okay, read post #10. Since I don't think a woman willing to defend herself is LESS feminine, I voted "yes."

 

[mrmeval]

Non-sequitur

Both genders share the resposibility equally.

 

[razorburn]

Pax, I do not know how to respond to this question, or what you expect to hear. I don't see what gender can be applied to something like this. A strange thing to say. I suppose it's the same feeling you'd get if I asked you if it's masculine to have $20?


Or is this asking for personal opinions on what guys like in girls? I think it's absolutely a non-issue for most men, and doesn't affect attractiveness in any way. Some guys on here might get a hard on for it, simply because they're that sort of person who takes an interest in this sort of thing and its attractive to have someone be interested in the same things you are. But for most, it's not something they think about. I also don't see how gender can be applied to an issue like this, it's just something they can do.

I hope I'm not too blunt, but I personally find most women in the shooting community to be unfeminine, if that helps any. Not because they shoot or have the ability to do so or anything like that, but because of the way they look and dress and act. a backwards baseball cap, loose fitting t shirt and body hair, body odor and such isnt feminine.

 

[Hardtarget]

I voted yes. Its much more feminine than found in a ditch with your underwear over your head! Be found standing up explaining to the cops why you shot the rapist!
Mark.

 

[hso]

What an idiotic concept! What does feminitiy have to do with being a whole person capable of defending the young and family? Any woman that isn't willing to protect their family isn't worth having around.

 

[Dave A]

Woman with the right attitude

Check out Cornered Cat.com . The lady offers some very good
arguments for being an armed female.

 

[eagle45]

do you think that being able to protect herself makes a woman less feminine?

No, I think it allows her to continue being feminine.

 

[Atticus]

I'm sure there is a difference between feminine and sexy, but I'm not sure what it is. I voted no, because I think that confident, assertive women are sexy. I've never liked the meek geisha types. As to whether the former is more "feminine" than the latter...probably. But all things being equal, no, a woman who is perpared to defend herself is no less feminine.

 

[Juna]

Follow up for those who will, please: do you think that being able to protect herself makes a woman less feminine?

Oops... I voted before I understood your question correctly. I thought you were asking if we're all feminine for preparing ourselves at first, so I said, "No". Now that I understand your question, I say being prepared has nothing to do with being "feminine" or "masculine". It's about intelligence and foresight. Does it make a woman less feminine if she wears a seat belt? It's the same scenario--she's preparing for things she hopes never will happen.

Granted, guns carry a masculine stereotype in society, but a woman who loves guns is a wonderful thing, IMO! Society unfortunately stereotypes us all as a bunch of uneducated, violent, low-class, white guys wanting to kill things for pleasure, but in reality shooters are as diverse, classy, disciplined, and intelligent a group as any I've seen (as is evidenced by this fine forum). So I say screw the stereotypes... a woman who shoots is that much more attractive. My wife looks damn fine holding our CZ 75.

 

[Flyboy]

"Ye choose and ye do not choose! What talk is this of choosing? By the bull that I killed, am I to stand nosing into your dog's den for my fair dues? It is I, Shere Khan, who speak!"

The tiger's roar filled the cave with thunder. Mother Wolf shook herself clear of the cubs and sprang forward, her eyes, like two green moons in the darkness, facing the blazing eyes of Shere Khan.

"And it is I, Raksha [The Demon], who answers. The man's cub is mine, Lungri—mine to me! He shall not be killed. He shall live to run with the Pack and to hunt with the Pack; and in the end, look you, hunter of little naked cubs—frog-eater—fish-killer—he shall hunt thee! Now get hence, or by the Sambhur that I killed (I eat no starved cattle), back thou goest to thy mother, burned beast of the jungle, lamer than ever thou camest into the world! Go!"

Father Wolf looked on amazed. He had almost forgotten the days when he won Mother Wolf in fair fight from five other wolves, when she ran in the Pack and was not called The Demon for compliment's sake. Shere Khan might have faced Father Wolf, but he could not stand up against Mother Wolf, for he knew that where he was she had all the advantage of the ground, and would fight to the death. So he backed out of the cave mouth growling, and when he was clear he shouted:

"Each dog barks in his own yard! We will see what the Pack will say to this fostering of man-cubs. The cub is mine, and to my teeth he will come in the end, O bush-tailed thieves!"

Mother Wolf threw herself down panting among the cubs, and Father Wolf said to her gravely:

"Shere Khan speaks this much truth. The cub must be shown to the Pack. Wilt thou still keep him, Mother?"

"Keep him!" she gasped. "He came naked, by night, alone and very hungry; yet he was not afraid! Look, he has pushed one of my babes to one side already. And that lame butcher would have killed him and would have run off to the Waingunga while the villagers here hunted through all our lairs in revenge! Keep him? Assuredly I will keep him. Lie still, little frog. O thou Mowgli—for Mowgli the Frog I will call thee—the time will come when thou wilt hunt Shere Khan as he has hunted thee."

--Rudyard Kipling, The Jungle Book

 

[pax]

razorburn ~

Mostly I'm just exploring the topic and looking for opinions. Getting ready to write an article for my website, maybe, if I can find enough different perspectives to give me a solid idea which way to go with it.

Why write about it? Well, it's actually a concern I've heard echoes of from a lot of different directions, that seems to keep a certain number of women out of the shooting sports and (exactly and particularly) away from self-defense types of shooting.

Had a friend tell me, awhile back, that she was cutting back on range time & had dropped out of her dojo because she "needed to nurture [her] feminine side." Clearly, she perceived self-defense as a masculine activity, and not a feminine one. And it was enough to keep her away from the range.

On a related note, I have lost track of the number of times I have been talking to a woman who has told me, in reference to carrying a gun to protect herself, that she wouldn't do that because "It's my husband's job." There's really nothing wrong with the romantic, idealized notion that the knight in shining armor is going to protect you from all the bad things in the world, but the truth is that the pudgy darling with his bum knee is probably not really able to leap tall buildings with a single bound. He might even need, you know, an active partner who can help him out a bit now and then. Not to mention that most couples spend the vast majority of their time apart from each other, and not together. How can he defend her when he is not there? But she hasn't usually thought of that, only that it is romantically ideal for him to be the hero and her to be the damsel in distress.

I note that lots of guys make a big deal out of it being their job to protect the family. I do wonder if that doesn't send a very mixed message to their wives: if it's the man's job to protect her, how can it be her job to protect herself?

Lots of related territory here, by the way.

Another for instance, not so closely related but in there somewhere: probably half or more of the women I know have chosen very specifically feminine range accessories -- stuff like carrying their range equipment in a pink-flowered makeup bag, or seeking out bright-red furniture and matching accessories for the AR, or special ordering a purple holster, purple anodizing on the gun and a matching purple belt. Gear that you know there ain't gonna be no man caught dead wearing. And I can't help but think this is symptomatic of the same thing, as if some women feel a distinct need to mark out very, very feminine territory within the larger masculine sphere of going to the range.

So it's just something I was thinking about, and wondered what the guys had to say about it. Mostly what I'm hearing from y'all is that this is a concern women might have, but it's below most guys' radar.

pax

 

[Oleg Volk]

You go tell a lioness that she's not feminine

 

[rbernie]

I note that lots of guys make a big deal out of it being their job to protect the family.

I will protect my family to the best of my abilities, but I can't carry the burden alone. Probably one of my biggest sources of frustration in my current marriage is when I perceive my wife to be NOT actively thinking about and positioning herelf to help protect our family. I want a team player, not another dependant.

And insofar as the whole 'is it feminine' thing goes - as Jack Palance once said, 'Confidence is very sexy'.

 

[obxned]

Bonnie Parker could fire a BAR from the hip while on the run, and Clyde thought she was one hot mama!

 

[sm]

No.
In the context Female gender is not diminished in being willing to take personal responsibility for safety of themselves, or family.

Masculinity in the same context is not increased by choosing to carry a gun either.

Personal Responsibility is not determined by gender, in my opinion.
Tough question to word, and difficult to respond to and interpret results.

The female of the species is the deadlier of the two - Kipling

 

[Warren]

Is being brutally slain a masculine or feminine trait?

 

[Snap]

Um, what does one's reproductive equipment have to do with self-defense?

 

[Colt46]

A mother's instinct to protect her young is powerful

We do our best to downplay and deny the subject of violence and the weaker sex, but man, the seed sower, can not always be counted on to be present when danger comes calling to the homestead.
Amongst animals I've always gotten into the most trouble when not giving a mother a wide enough berth to allow her a comfort zone with my presence.

 

[GRIZ22]

Nothing does my heart better than seeing a woman with a weapon and she knows how to use it.

There is a bit of tradition of the woman being able to defend herself and family in this country. Who do you think fought off the Indians when Pa was out hunting buffalo or whatever.

Someone who feels any woman is less feminine because she knows how to fight with anything has personal issues in this day and age.

 

[Feanaro]

It's human. Protecting life and limb is as gender specific as breathing. You could say it is both, especially where children are involved.