Let's play, "what would the reporters say about me"

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ECVMSparky

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A recent post in another topic led me to post this one, what would a reporter say about you if your home were raided, and your possessions itemized, and confiscated?
In other words, how would they put a sensational negative spin on your guns/possessions?
Here's mine:

Subject has a fully semiautomatic assault sniper (has a reddot) carbine that takes 30 round "bullet clips" This rifle is used by terrorists worldwide, so this guy must be a terrorist.
And a stockpile of TWELVE magazines, for his cache of nearly 4 HUNDRED rounds of ammo.
Insividual has several pistols including a Glock 19, which as we all know is made entirely of plastic so it can be smuggled onto aircraft, and Kel-Tec P32, a handgun so small that it can be hidden in a pocket.
Also among the firearms is a Mosin nagant M44, the mosin was used a sniper weapon so this guy must be intending on sniping some "innocent civilians"
Also found were several assault knives, a copy of "unintended consequences" (A blueprint on how to overthrow the government)
This individual is also a member of a DOMESTIC TERROR ORGANIZATION, (militia)
Possessing camoflauge clothing, his television was also turned to the history channel, a known clearinghouse for nazi propaganda films.

We must shoot on sight.
 
Been there, done that.
__________________

Quote:
However, in just a few minutes a Glock fanboy will come by and post a link to a test where a Glock was put in a blender filled with Drano, sulfuric acid, Coca-Cola, pirahna, and 2 pounds of industrial diamonds. A CAT D8 bulldozer was then dropped on it from 1000 feet. The owner picked up the Glock, chambered a 155mm HE round, hit a post-it note at 917 miles, and then proceeded to run 726,761 rounds of Wolf ammo coated with Gorilla Glue with no failures.

-Jorg
Click to expand...

Ehhh???
 
"Upon raiding the suspect's dwelling, officers were shocked to find a cache of military hardware, including weapons and explosives. Among the weapons found was a semi automatic assault rifle (M1A), ten extra high capacity magazines (20-rounders), four hundred armor piercing bullets (7.62 ball milsurp), two assault pistols (Walther P22 and SW99), three high capacity magazines for one of them as well as a hundred fifty cop-killer bullets (jhp), a World War II-era sniper rifle (M44 Mosin) with eight hundred armour piercing bullets, and a military-style shotgun (mossberg 590) with a high capacity clip (haha) and buckshot shells, for spraying lead shot all over indiscriminately. The suspect was also in possession of over 17 gallons of gasoline (it's in my Jeep), which is often used by Terrorists as a component for making IEDs. Dozens of different poisons and toxins were also found stockpiled in the suspect's hideout (chemicals under the kitchen sink)."
 
Hmmm...off the cuff:

Racists/Cultist had in his possesion several military weapons including an assault rifle, a "steet sweeper" shotgun, a Glock plastic gun and a folding rifle suitable for special-ops. 10s of clips for each weapon and thousands of rounds of military ammunition. Also found were numerous anti government/anti taxation books and pamphlets, including titles such as "Unintended Consequences", "Enemies Foreign and Domestic" and "What the IRS Does Not Want You to Know". Additionally there were found numerous books in manufacturing chemical and biological weapons (Organic & Inorganic Chemistry, Biochemisty, Bacteriology, Virology, Molecular Biology & Pathogenic Microbology, Industrial Microbology & Bioprocessing hey, I trained and worked in Biotech for years) as well as several vats of an unknown substance (beer and mead). A sophisticated computer network was discovered in the home, where the suspect had taken great pains to be unreachable by authorities and that included many computer hacking tools and books (I work in IT now).

Golly, I must REALY have been up to no good. Specially with the Racist/Cult thingie since I have a Confederate Naval Jack in my den and I'm a Pagan.
 
In further news today...
Boring!

Older returning College Student, with a backpack officers tripped over upon entering the premise...
One officer got a hernia from moving a Rubbermaid tote full of textbooks...

One Kel-Tec P-11 was found on said College Student and two spare mags in the house...appearing to be used as bookmarks or paperweights, officers were just not sure...
One mag with CCI Aluminum 115 FMJ "target loads" and another mag with 124 gr JHP of undermined make, but they had "nelphs" in the hollow points...

Also Found was one Youth 20 ga single shot shotgun, with 5 slugs, with rust freckles on case heads, and one mostly full box of Fiochhi 20 ga Skeet loads in #9 shot.

Officers are checking current statues on the number of Pipe Cleaners one may have on the premise and there has to be a statue against making a pipe cleaner "dawg" [College student's spelling] , officers said it looked like a horse...

Police Information Officer is really pissed and was quoted as saying " Did I really shave my legs for this" upon arriving at the scene awaiting our Channel News Crew to show up.

Please call the number on your screen if you have any idea of the definition of the words "Tump" and "Nelps", our Editor , from Chicago, is having a devil of a time figuring out the meanings of these words...
 
Armed Police From the Edinburgh CO19 units today raided a Bo'ness house today, and arrested a 20-year old man. Included in the items seized from the house included a battered copy of Mein Kampf, which is believed to be an original copy, and a Nazi SS dagger, the genuine version of which many replicas can be found.

Also taken from the scene were several replica firearms, which according to experts from the Gun Control Network, can be converted to fire live ammunition. The GCN offered as evidence of intent, several files from the man's hard drive, including the infamous "Anarchist's Cookbook", and several firearms manuals.
 
WOW wouldn't even want to go there. Let's just say they'd describe an aresnal with all of the "bad/Evil" rifles and accessories. Something the local LEO's would envy.
 
OMG, the press would have a field day with me, all the way from the vicious attack dogs (a female collie and a 55 lb 13 year old German Shepherd/Doberman mutt who impersonates an overgrown Chiuaua) to the 10,000 rounds of "cop killer" ammo (well, if you point the .22 revolver at their head, it will probably kill them, won't it?) to the "arsenal" (must be talking about the old milsurp collection) to the "assault weapons cache" (probably referring to the old SKS rifles) and then there's the "clandestine unlicensed ammunition factory" (the reloading bench I'm still assembling gear for) the hoarde of lethal "saturday night specials" must be selling them to street thugs (fully registered handgun collection) AND THE LIST GOES ON... to include the stash of non-traceable currency, must be smuggling or drug dealing (oh, the silver ingots that comprise my retirement fund?). :) OH YEAH they would have a fine time with me.

And YES all the neighbors will sigh "He seemed like such a nice guy, too bad he died like that, but thank goodness we're safe now, had no idea a terrorist/drug dealer/smuggler/child molseter lived in our neighborhood" (went down in a hail of gunfire defending self when awakened at 3am to people breaking into the house, WHADDYA MEAN you're cops, oops, wrong address, sorry guy).
 
A local teen's house has been raided after classmates equated his lone-wolf attitude to that of the Virginia Tech gunman.

Authorities found an imitation pistol (my airsoft gun), books on weapons and murder among other disturbing topics. A quick inspection of the teen's computer lead to the discovery of several chilling games, along with evidence suggesting that the teen once played the infamous Super Columbine Massacre RPG game.

A closer inspection of the teen's computer indicated that he was an avid member of certain weapons-crazed community websites :)D), and may have downloaded and studied improvised weapons guides.

Neighbors said that they had scarcely seen the young man. One of the suspect's few friends was tracked for comment, and said, ""... he always tried to keep it real..."

Currently being investigated is the possibility that the teen may have been planning to express his twisted thoughts through writing and drawing.
 
Dang, I don't know where to start. I reload, so I've got a few K primers, brass, powder and bullets of various weights and calibers to start with, so I must have a "terrorist ammunition plant." The thing that would sink me are all the books about nuclear weapons and nuclear war strategy that I've got, along with Sun Tzu, von Clausewitz, von Leeb and Erfurth. I'm definitely the most dangerous man on the planet, doncha know... :evil:
 
Local home raided. the raid turned up multiple Soviet manufactured highpowered military rifles. each one capable of punching a hole clear through the moon. over 800 rounds of ammunition for these weapons along with bayonets designed to either attach or fold neatly into these killing machines. also an unidentified oily wax like substance that is undergoing tests with the CDC to check if its a biological weapon.
 
Well, let's just say "It already happened".

2004 Colorado Get Together:

attachment.php


:eek:
 
in my defense, thats 800 rounds of 54R these numbers do not include
7.62X39
223
9mm
7.5 swiss
30-06
12 gauge
20 gauge
or any others
 
Authorities were horrified to find the dead bodies the FBI's top 10 most wanted in (my) apartment. The mastermind behind all this was found with one weapon, a bloody bowie knife. At the moment the police stormed in, he was engaging in crude, demoralizing sexual acts to 3 famous supermodels of whom we will not identify. After the investigation was over, (me) he was deemed a national hero for his bravery and service to America. 3 Months later he was nominated to replace George Washington and to be printed on the newest 1 dollar bill.
 
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