My daughter's getting her carry permit!

[BogBabe]

She turned 21 two weeks ago. I took her to the gun show this past week-end, where she took the course to qualify for her CCW.

She doesn't have her own gun yet, and I want her to put a few hundred more rounds through mine before she gets her own, but she's strongly pro-gun and pro-self-defense. She's slowly but surely working on converting various liberal friends, too.

She was, of course, quite dismayed to learn that she's not allowed to carry on campus grounds. As she so logically pointed out, college campuses are where lots of attacks (rapes) take place.

For you young'uns on this board, or those of you with kids my daughter's age who carry -- my biggest concern is pounding into her head that her friends should not necessarily know that she owns/carries. My daughter has had the safety rules ingrained in her brain, and she is very safe and careful with firearms -- but at her age I'm quite sure she doesn't realize how stupid some people can be around them. I'm afraid the temptation to let people know she has a gun might overcome the warnings I've given her about it.

Anyone have any tips on how to emphasize to a 21-year-old that her early-20s friends really shouldn't know she carries, and really shouldn't ever be allowed to touch or handle her gun (unless under supervision -- i.e., by me, or some other responsible adult)?

 

[Nathaniel Firethorn]

Best way is to let one of her friends deliver the message. Know if any of them have a CCW?

- pdmoderator

 

[Henry Bowman]

(unless under supervision -- i.e., by me, or some other responsible adult)

It sounds like your 21 year old daughter is a responsible adult. If not you wouldn'y want her to CCW anyway. be careful making statement like quoted above to her. That is very insulting.

Your point about not blabbing to others is well taken. Share that message and give respectful examples to try and pursuade her to your way of thinking on the issue. Piont out that information cannot be taken back. That is if she tell someone and later regres doing so, it is forever too late to change that. If she doesn't tell, she always has the option to change that if there is a good reason to do so in the future. But above all, treat her as the adult she is. Do not be disappointed if she has to learn an object lesson on her own. Just try to guide her to make that mistake in a way that has smaller consequences. For example, better that she tell and lose a marginal friend than to tell and get kicked out of school/charged/loose her rights/somebody get hurt/etc.

 

[BogBabe]

Probably not....

That's a good thought, pdmoderator, but to my knowledge none of her friends has a CCW or even owns a gun.

Henry -- yes, I know my daughter is an adult, and she is very responsible for her age. Otherwise I surely wouldn't have taken her to the course to get her CCW. And anyway I wouldn't phrase it quite that way directly to her face. But nevertheless, she needs more experience with firearms before she would be "qualified" to supervise another young adult in handling one. I don't think she would be insulted by me pointing that out.

Your point that "information cannot be taken back" is a good one, and I will definitely use it.

There have been several discussions here about friends blurting out that so-and-so has a gun, at very inopportune times and places. That's the main thing I'm concerned about. If middle-aged adults can't be trusted to exercise such discretion, I'm under no illusions that 20-somethings will, especially urban-raised young adults with little or no personal experience with firearms. Heaven forbid someone blurts it out, and someone else wants to see it -- and is persistent enough that my daughter gives in and gets it out. That's a tragedy waiting to happen.

 

[El Tejon]

I've carried in public since I was 18 and on private land many years before that. What my father emphasized was the consequences of doing something stupid.

"Keep it in your pants and your pistol on your belt" and "f no one knows you have a pistol, you may never need to use it." Worked for me.

I had no friends who had no knowledge of firearms, but I grew up in Indiana. I would recommend taking her friends to the range so they can learn as well, but I admit my pro-educational bias.

 

[C.R.Sam]

Concealed should stay that way.
A friend told, tells others...the circle of gab gets really big quickly.

Personal protection is a personal thing.

I certainly agree with her re the Campus risk level.

Situational awareness is another tool in the defense bag, just as is the gun. The brain is the weapon.

Sam

 

[Chipperman]

Why would she need a gun on campus? She has the campus security force there to protect her!

Glad she's taking responsibility for her own protection.

As far as friends not knowing, just relay some scenarios. Suppose they are in a bank that is being robbed. Friend says "You have a gun, just shoot him" Instant death sentence for your daughter.

Other scenario. They are at a restaurant, and an obnoxious guys is hitting on them. Friend loudly says "Buzz off, my friend here is packing". The cop sitting in th next booth overhears, and you have to go through the whole legal mess.

These sound silly, but I've read stories of similar true incidents. Sometimes they results in a minor inconvenience for the CCW, in others it can get them killed.

 

[WT]

Mine are in their early 20's, out of college. It is amazing how mature they are compared to males their age. The older one (25) just bought a house on her own. Didn't ask me for a penny. Works 2 jobs to make ends meet.

They don't say squat about what they carry in their handbags. Not even to their close friends. Nobody knows except me and my wife. They have nothing to prove, don't need to show anyone that they have "the power".

However, if the occasion calls for it I know they will take the appropriate action.

They've been around firearms all their lives. They know what to say and what not to say, what to do and what not to do.

Sit down with your daughter and have a talk. She may pleasantly surprise you.

 

[Orthonym]

"...directly to her face" Oops!

Does she know you post here?

 

[Jesse H]

I got mine when I was 23, not too long ago. Only my close friends know. They know I'm discreet about it and not to open their mouths about it in public. I don't openly talk about it, but sometimes the subject comes up and I won't hide it. Carrying a gun isn't and shouldn't be a taboo.

 

[Standing Wolf]

You might consider asking her to promise you she'll keep the information to herself.

You can't beat women who keep and bear arms.

 

[4v50 Gary]

It's tough for a woman, especially a young woman. Fashion dictates that clothing is tight around the body ) ) but that isn't conducive to CCW. A mouse gun perhaps and perhaps a belt pouch? No fanny packs (easy to slash and scoot) please and definitely not in a purse (those tend to walk away at nightclubs or bars - must be a fashion jealous woman who's responsible for those thefts).

If she CCWs on campus, tell her to keep her mouth shut - even to her best friend. She may get finked out.

 

[Tommy.Gun]

Well whatever the case I'm raisen my eight year old daughter to be a pistol packing Moma....

 

[BogBabe]

Good points, everyone.

I'll continue the discussions with her, bring up some of the points made here, and keep my fingers crossed. Fortunately, firearms is one of the things that she actually listens to me about, so hopefully she'll take to heart what I've been telling her about her friends knowing.

Orthonym, she has virtually zero interest in online message boards. Even if I told her about this thread and that it was all about her, I'd have a hard time dragging her to the computer to read it. So I'm not worried about that. She'd probably find this entire discussion amusing anyway.

4v50Gary -- Yes, we've already discussed the whole campus-carry thing in depth. In deference to Oleg and the standards here, I can't say that I ever openly advocated breaking the law, but I've made sure she's aware of the saying "Better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6."

Next month we're going to get together at a gun shop that has rentals, and let her try out a number of different guns. She's partial to revolvers, which I certainly wouldn't argue with, but she likes the small semi-autos too. Method of carry also needs to be worked out. She's just over 5' and 100 lbs soaking wet, so concealment and comfort will be a big issue.

Thanks for all the input, everyone!