My mother really needs to learn, or, "How she got a gun pointed at her today."

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dbb1776 said:
Why are you so afraid of a home invasion that you jump everytime the less than perfect alarm system goes off?
Please sell your guns, give the cash to your parents for their troubles, and live happily ever after.
If you do live in constant fear of a home invasion, I'm sorry for you.
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I swear, people are idiots. . . Take your holier than thou attitude and figure out where to put it.
 
Originally Posted by dbb1776 View Post
Why are you so afraid of a home invasion that you jump everytime the less than perfect alarm system goes off?
Please sell your guns, give the cash to your parents for their troubles, and live happily ever after.
If you do live in constant fear of a home invasion, I'm sorry for you.
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I swear, people are idiots. . . Take your holier than thou attitude and figure out where to put it.
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Seconded. The moment you find yourself thinking you have the right to tell someone else to stop being a gun owner is the moment you need to decide not to open your mouth ever again.
 
Never did I once claim what happened was a GOOD thing. But I will maintain that, given the specific situation, I do not believe many here would do much differently than what I did regardless of what they say here. I'm stuck with their alarm system. I'm stuck with their floorplan. I'm stuck with the fact that a hostile person coming through that door poses an immediate threat to anyone in the adjacent living room. And I'm stuck with a mother who refuses to pay attention. It's not alzheimers / dementia. It's just one of the more recent incarnations of her lifelong lack of courtesy for others. She doesn't think or care about how her actions affect others. I apologize if you think this is disrespectful, but it is the case.
 
...a 3-foot long hallway that was narrowed to 2 feet wide by stuff she had placed in it. There was not really enough room to assume a low ready position, and I would have had to dramatically compromise my speed and maneuverability to take that position as I came out (she has a borderline hoarding disorder, so there's almost no room for anything).
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That darn Mom...messing up your living space and compromising your speed and maneuverability! How do you put up with it?


I'm stuck with a mother who refuses to pay attention...It's just one of the more recent incarnations of her lifelong lack of courtesy for others.
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Darn mom again! You're stuck with a fuddy-duddy room-mate who refuses to pay attention to all the tactical details you are so rightfully obsessed with. And a lifelong lack of courtesy too! She sounds just awful.

She doesn't think or care about how her actions affect others.
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It sounds like the nut didn't fall far from the tree. You still live with your folks, so I guess that ain't so far at all - is it?

If you had any idea of the amount of undisguised hostility you have expressed in this thread towards your mother - after admitting you pointed a gun her - you would seek professional help.

Then add to that the comments about how it's not YOUR fault you have to live with this awful woman - you are FORCED to. Just like you were FORCED to point a gun at her. And if we think there is something wrong with any of that - well, we must be IDIOTS.

Dude - you're scarin' me.

Seriously.

Grow up and move out. Find a job - any job. Find a room-mate - any room-mate. Get an apartment - even a crap-hole of an apartment. It's gotta be better than living with such a terrible mother.


I do not believe many here would do much differently than what I did regardless of what they say here.
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The overwhelming majority of responses you have received from the folks here have been critical of your behavior - but you don't believe us?

Wow!

I'm stuck with their alarm system. I'm stuck with their floorplan. I'm stuck with the fact that a hostile person coming through that door poses an immediate threat...And I'm stuck with a mother...
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Sounds like you need to get un-stuck - before it's too late.



Sorry Lee...but this one's getting weird. I realize we were supposed to keep the "tough love" weighted toward the "love" side - but this thread is heading into a death spiral. The OP doesn't seem to comprehend what is being said to him, and even the gentlest constructive criticism has evoked even more rigidly defensive responses from him.
 
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As all this was happening what was dad doing? Theres some things that really need to be addressed in this house. Starting with your defense plan.
 
Yes, it's called, I graduated just in time for the economy to crash so I don't make enough to afford to move out. It hit the IT sector particularly hard. I WAS making good money for a while, but then my company lost its main contract.

The slightly sunken living room is directly adjacent to the front door, with no walls separating it. The door also opens in that direction, meaning it's the first thing you'd see as you enter. If someone breaks in, anyone in there is a sitting duck. I could easily forsee myself popping out of the bedroom and finding a gun aimed at my father, by someone standing in the exact location and angle my mother was. At that angle, a person could see me out of the corner of their eye. I'd basically have a split second before they could turn and fire once they noticed me. I had to make a positive ID at the same time that I covered them. There was. no. time.
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I see. I certainly don't blame you for staying at home given the current economy, so my apologies for prying...

The description you bring while certainly changes strategy..I still am failing to see why you didn't call out to the hallway "Who's there? or Identify yourself!" or something. I know the alarm is loud, and I'm not sure about the area you live in (rough neighborhood? bad inner city?) that makes you feel so much anxiety enough to basically put yourself in a combat situation (ready to fire, gun aimed) when it shouldn't be...

I live in a nice area, decent folks and neighbors..I've had a few scares here and there, and i am of course armed while at home..but I never thought once, to flip the switch in my head and go into Army Rangers mode...yes i've been armed when univted guests knock on the door at 2am (turns out to be my drunken friends) But i've never felt the need to be in a "combat ready" mode.. I figure with a gun on me holstered, but not aimed or rasied, my chances are as good as any IF it came to that...luckily it hasn't.
Of course there could be a time where i will need to draw my weapon and be "ready" But again, i'll do my best to indentify (verbally or visually) the target, or threat, before raising my weapon...

I wish you the best, and hope you don't scare mom anymore..
 
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i'm thinking its not you thats stuck its mom and dad. oh and after reading this my dad just told me how glad he is i left home real early .
 
Ditch the alarm, get a dog. There's a huge difference between a "Hi Mom, I'm really, really happy to see you!" bark, and a "Hey, there's a stranger in my house!" bark. Problem solved.

R
 
i'm thinking its not you thats stuck its mom and dad. oh and after reading this my dad just told me how glad he is i left home real early .
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BINGO!

And no mother should ever - not once in her lifetime - have to stare down the barrel of a gun her son is pointing at her.
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BINGO!

AGAIN

Particularly in her own home while said “boy” is living there.

I swear, people are idiots. . . Take your holier than thou attitude and figure out where to put it.
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I agree about folks being idiots. But you are young enough to turn yourself around. Quit whining listen, learn, and grow up.

Never did I once claim what happened was a GOOD thing. But I will maintain that, given the specific situation, I do not believe many here would do much differently than what I did regardless of what they say here.
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You have much to learn Grasshopper. You ain’t even close.

I'm stuck with their alarm system. I'm stuck with their floorplan. I'm stuck with the fact that a hostile person coming through that door poses an immediate threat to anyone in the adjacent living room. And I'm stuck with a mother who refuses to pay attention.
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Son, you ain’t STUCK with anything. You are privileged to have good parents that love you enough to offer you a good home, education, alarm system, and a mother who is still alive to make dinner for you, and wash your clothes.

And after you stick a gun in her face, you have the “gall” to complain about being “STUCK” with her. Like stated above, maybe you need to grab your self by your stacking swivel, extract your head and listen to those that do know better.

It's not alzheimers / dementia. It's just one of the more recent incarnations of her lifelong lack of courtesy for others. She doesn't think or care about how her actions affect others. I apologize if you think this is disrespectful, but it is the case.
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You Whine about your job problems, get to live at home, and still hammer your mother. Your mother doesn’t, but you deserve what you will get in life.

Quit whining about enjoying being a victim. Go join my Marine Corps, no don’t.


Go figure.

Fred
 
RAINBOW

I'm thinking the EXACT same thing.

You just type faster.

WARDEN

If you don't change your "techniques", I fear there will be some very, very bad things happening in that house. Someone else may have to pay the freight on that one. Think about it.
 
funny what you can do if you try. i work construction self employed business got real bad. i was amazed to find out that i can pay my mortgage with a paper route. but i had to get off my tail to find out. and even more remarkable is that my inspiration was a 23 year old girl who went and got a paper route when the docs told her she couldn't work on her feet as a mcdonalds manager while pregnant. she was unemployed almost 36 hours. i.m in my 50's and made real money often will again but when things slow down i have to get busy. then again i left home in the 10th grade with dads blessing and encouragement. times have changed
 
If you can't low-ready carry, then "TV show ready" the pistol (upper arm out, forearm bent up about 90 degrees)....either way, have it pointed out of the way.

On an off-topic....if you live near a military base, get your network+ and security+ ceritifcations and see if you can get an IT job in the base....so long as you are brutally honest about your past (whatever it may be, they will find out all kinds of stuff), you'll get the clearances required for the job, and they tend to pay really well. That's what I'm going to do once I get the cash to finish my Security+. Many bases are looking for civilian IT security staff.
 
I'm willing to accept many of the replies to the OP being constructive criticism.

Unfortunately, most of them come off as just another form of armchair commandoism.

I am perfectly confident that the OP is quite aware of his failure to follow the basic rules of gun safety, and his defensiveness is merely from his resentment at having found himself in a situation where he reacted poorly. His resentment at the situation also did leave a poor first impression of his attitude, but I'm not one to judge others on that alone.

And nobody should forget that hindsight is 20/20. As confident as I am that the OP is aware of his mistakes this time, I am even more confident that most of the people replying to this thread would not have even thought about the scenario prior to it being described, and certainly would not have been able to pick it apart off the tops of their heads.

So with that in mind, I extend my thanks and appreciation to WardenWolf for sharing an uncomfortable scenario, and the results of it so that we could analyze and develop an improved course of action if faced with similar circumstances.

I live alone, and prior to this I would have been perfectly content keeping my HD weapon trained forward while investigating an alarm, or sound in the night. It's only because of this post am I beginning to rethink that. (However as I live on the second floor of an apartment complex, I am still not comfortable with using a low-ready stance)
 
It's painfully obvious that your mother is nowhere near the Ninja level that you are. It would not surprise me if she can only walk on water and not air.

Just as painfully obvious is that your plan is not working. I'm sure your mother is being as patient as she can be hoping that you will simply outgrow this phase, as she likely views it. It sounds like you have taken it upon yourself to be the protector of the household. I'm betting it would come as a surprise to your parents to find that they have been relieved of the burden and are now subject to your rules of security.

I suspect that you're mostly peeved because your mom very likely just rolled her eyes at you when you popped around the corner with your gun. And when you screamed, "MOM, I could have shot you." She said, "What have I told you about playing with guns."

At any rate, it will fall to you to adapt your security plan to accomodate your mother's proclivity for ignoring the alarm disarming SOP.

One more thing, stay out of your folks bedroom, that's just creepy.
 
Sounds like the OP wants to be Joe Tacticool and is playing with lives based on his ego. I'm all for protecting the home but even by his verbage and video game like mission narrative, he sounds like a gun nut.
 
It sounds like it's your parents house who are you to tell them how to live in it?
 
I am perfectly confident that the OP is quite aware of his failure to follow the basic rules of gun safety, and his defensiveness is merely from his resentment at having found himself in a situation where he reacted poorly. His resentment at the situation also did leave a poor first impression of his attitude, but I'm not one to judge others on that alone.
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RX-178 - I do not know where/how you get the impression that the OP is "quite aware of his failure".
Not in any one of his responses subsequent to his first post, has he indicated that he might have reacted incorrectly and that he needs to re-assess the recurring situation and his own responses to it.
He blames the house, the alarm, his mother, the economy . . (I am surprised he is not blaming Bush).
NOT ONCE does he take ownership.
Not once does he acknowledge that he might be reacting incorrectly to his mother's actions.
Not once does he acknowledge that maybe he needs to sit down with both his parents and discuss the situation and finding a solution that will work for everybody that shares the house.
It is his parents' house. Due to economic necessity, he is forced to live with his parents and accept their hospitality.
He has to understand that he is not in control. It is not HIS property. If his mother wants to come and go as she pleases and in the process accidentally sets off the alarm, he needs to learn how to deal with it.
If my son pointed a gun at my wife's head in my house . . . . . he would be out of MY house in no time flat. (I was going to be more graphic, but decided to be High road)
He is there at his parents generosity and he needs to deal with it. NOT come here and call his mother a BONEHEAD for his boneheaded action in HER house.
I am sorry, the OP is the bonehead in this situation and he needs to apologise to his parents for putting his mother's life in danger.
 
Ok, I'll bite.

First of all, I believe everyone who chastised Warden for 'living with mommy and daddy' prior to his description of the situation owes him an apology for assuming anything. What if he was financially responsible, and his parents were living off of his dime? Now, that is clearly not the case, by his own admission, but social tact was clearly ignored until that point.

I don't know Mr. "Warden", does anyone else here know him? Has anyone been to his house? Anyone else here met his parents? Anyone know what neighborhood this house is in? Or what life experiences his parents had that might make them a target?

Not everyone that reads this forum has had the privilege of attending an advanced tactics class.

Oh, and by the way, when was the last time someone told any of us the adage 'never say never'? The terms "never" and "always" usually end up biting us in the butt if we give them enough time, or opportunity.

I suspect he feels pretty poorly for drawing down on his mom. And, it takes a lot of guts to share that with a group of people, any group of people.

I am not defending his actions, or criticizing them either. I wasn't there. I haven't walked a mile in his shoes. This might be a case where an image (actually being there to experience it) is worth lots of words.

It might be worth all of us trying to come up with constructive ideas to avoid this event in the future, for the OP, or any other reader who might have similar circumstances.

Remember folks, this is "The High Road", lets live that example.

PE
 
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It seems we have another thoroughly deceased equine here. Essentially two sides to the argument, territory firmly staked out, flags flying, and sallying forth to do battle in no man's land determined not to yield to the foe.

Unfortunately, there's not a lot of room for the flexibility necessary for learning to take place on either side when that is the case. Nor does such a situation do much to foster mutual understanding or agreement.

So at this point I see little to be gained from allowing the skirmish to go forward. All can retire from the field, bloodied but unbowed, secure in the confidence they were correct in this matter.

If I could, I would encourage more leeway in attitudes. But I doubt it would help at this point. That's sad.

lpl
 
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