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My wife, the anti-gunner, asked if I was carrying.

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by MikeJ, Mar 7, 2006.

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  1. MikeJ

    MikeJ Member

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    My wife doesn't care for guns but understands that I do and never complains about my interest in them. To get to the point, the other morning we needed to go to our storage unit very early in the a.m. (before 6) to meet some workers there. When we got there we had to wait outside and it was still rather dark and desolate, this is in a very rough downtown area. As it was we noticed a few guys, looked to be homeless, walking our way and lo and behold my wife asks, "do you have on you what I think you do", to which I replied, "of course". These guys meant us no harm but she was very glad that I was carrying. I was rather amused to say the least and find it very interesting how people that don't like guns all of a sudden feel very differently about them when they feel threatened.
     
  2. Werewolf

    Werewolf Member

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    Sorry MikeJ but in my opinion your wife was guilty of the worst kind of hypocrisy.

    Call me crass if you will but I'd have told her, "oops, oh crap! I forgot to grab it this morning", and let her sweat the load a bit. Maybe that'd help her get it a little better.
     
  3. rangermonroe

    rangermonroe Member

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    When my wife and I were dating, My MIL was quite disapproving of my carrying.

    "Where are you taking my daughter that is so unsafe that you need to carry a GUN?"

    "Ma'am, you daughter is precious to both of us, and I feel the need to defend her against whatever situation may arise", obviously it didn't come out exactly like that, but you get the idea.

    After that, she frisked me on the way out the door to make sure I was carrying.
     
  4. 3rdpig

    3rdpig Member

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    All giving her a hard time about it would have gotten him is several weeks of the cold shoulder and an equally hard time next time he wanted a new gun or more ammo. Being supportive is more likely to get the desired results than being a smartass. Don't ask me how I know.
     
  5. CAPTAIN MIKE

    CAPTAIN MIKE Member

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    It's Always Good to Carry Protection

    Well....some guys have their sons carry 'protection' IWB and some in their wallets. Either way, protection is a good thing.
     
  6. Standing Wolf

    Standing Wolf Member in memoriam

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    Well, euphemistically speaking, dear...
     
  7. GHF

    GHF Member

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    Wife Asks If Carrying

    When she does, I have a stock answer -

    If it is legal - YES, if not NO.

    But if I have to come to where she is, and the place might be dangerous (she had a flat at work late one night, for example), she is all for it.

    My problem is that I can not get her to go to the range for familization with my Beretta semi-auto. She had - at one time - a .357 mag revolver, and does not understand the figuring out the differences in a stressful situation is not an intelligent idea.

    But then, she has the same response about learning to use software...
     
  8. gezzer

    gezzer Member

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    Newley Wed's, she had to ask?;)
     
  9. zahc

    zahc Member

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    Out the front door.
     
  10. Cacique500

    Cacique500 Member

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    +1

    My significant other is not a big gun fan but we've been to several places which made her nervous (didn't bother me any)...but asked if I was carrying (as if she didn't know).

    I think I'm making progress though - she wants a small j-frame for the bedside table for when I travel. :evil:
     
  11. MikeJ

    MikeJ Member

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    Just offered as an amusing anecdote, not to be taken too seriously.
     
  12. Herself

    Herself member

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    Well, take it seriously. Guns aren't a joke.

    I learned to shoot and lost a fiance (metaphorically, I actually know where he is and he's like still breathin' an' stuff)! Wanna know the truth? I might have been better off as a knife-carrying blissninny.

    No turnin' back now, I look lousy as a pillar of salt.

    --Herself
     
  13. 3rdpig

    3rdpig Member

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    Are you serious? Some guy you were engaged to bailed because you decided to learn to use a gun? Good Grief! Does he show any other signs of insanity?

    I guess I hang out with the wrong crowd, because where I come from that would be one item (written in bold) on the "keeper" side of the equation.
     
  14. R.H. Lee

    R.H. Lee Member

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    SWMBO never asks when I'm packing; we never discuss it. I think she trusts me to know when and where to carry.
     
  15. Zundfolge

    Zundfolge Member

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    Nope ... you're better off now.

    LOTS of women are antis, so us pro gun guys go bananas when we find a pro-gun woman.

    I'm sure you'll easily find a man* you like who will love that you pack and shoot (just read how many threads there are in this forum of men lamenting that their SO is anti).


    *no, I'm not implying that you NEED a man to be complete or happy or whatever. The statement only applies if you actually WANT one.
     
  16. PlayboyPenguin

    PlayboyPenguin member

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    No need to explain. I think most people that read this can understand that not everything has to be a dead-pan serious story or dealt with in a pro-gun pollitically correct manner. This is not an NRA meeting, it is a discussion forum and sometimes talk is just talk. There is nothing wrong with light hearted tongue in cheek stories. It is often better than another "I have been tread upon by the man" or "I am afraid a bear will eat me" thread. :)
     
  17. Ryder

    Ryder Member

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    I make it a point to let women know if I won't be carrying before we go out. Other than that they can assume the best. Questioning my carry status in public is not something I want.
     
  18. 71Commander

    71Commander Member

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    My wife doesn't ask me that anymore. She got her CCW.:evil:

    She was never an anti though.
     
  19. Janitor

    Janitor Senior Member

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    MikeJ - I think that your resposne was perfect. A light bulb just turned on in her brain all on it's own. Not the time to be an a$$. Especially if she's frightened at the current situation. This was just good fortune for you. The situation you guys were in (dark out - alone - strangers walking in your direction ...) seems to have given her an understanding that she may not have had before.

    Has the topic of either guns, or you carrying come up agian since then?


    Herself
    : Zundfolge is absolutely right. You're better of w/o him. Yea - in some ways he may have been the best thing to come along since that white stuff that never spoils in a twinkie. But realize that you found yourself in a place where one of you was going to have to change their feelings, or this would have most likely become a fairly large point of contention between you two going forward. (question: Ever try to change your feelings?)

    Like Z said - if you find you actually want a man - find a gunny. There are a lot of us out there and most all of us would LOVE it if our s.o. both shared our interests and was independant enough to prepare herself to deal with lifes ugly little realities on her own if need be.
     
  20. Hokkmike

    Hokkmike Member

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    I had two friends who were exiting an NRA spondered fund raiser. Two drunks approached and became too interested in my friends' business. They would not leave them alone when asked to do so. The appearance of a small handgun sent them on their way with all apologies. Who knows what may have happed otherwise?

    Your story is a good one. Your wife sounds like 95% of wives I know.
     
  21. Steelharp

    Steelharp Member

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    My wife... ah, I love her... but... it's funny how she snickers every morning when I put on my holster as I get dressed to go...

    But if we're out somewhere, and she feels a little uncomfortable about where we are, she always asks, "You DO have your gun, don't you?" One time, I answered, "No, you laughed about it." She looked at me with huge eyes, "MICHAEL!!" "Of course I have it, honey."

    Some people...
     
  22. Herself

    Herself member

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    Janitor, Zundfolge, 3rdpig, than you for your kind comments. Yes, it's not like I have just got to get a maaaan; menfolk are way nice but I learned how to lill my own bugs a long time ago.

    Here's the thing: He's a gunny, too! I'm concerned that it was off-putting to him that I learned to shoot, that it may have felt to him like I was taking away from his very natural role as the protector. All I wanted was to be his back-up, to share the hobby. But who knows. Perhaps it's totally unrelated. We were together as good as married for 16 years, time enough for most men to get bored.

    Still, a point to ponder for me and the other gun-girls: self-sufficiency is a good thing but too much of it might be real bad. Darned if I know how much is too much. I may be too old to learn or too big fake it -- at 5' 10" and fairly fit, I don't play the helpless little thing very convincingly.


    Playboy Penguin: The original story is a "light-hearted anecdote" but it is serous stuff, too. In hindsight, sure, no harm and hardly even a threat, everyone can grin. At the time, though, the fear was real and I don't find real fear especially funny. Perhaps it will prove to have been a learning experience, helping to change her attitude.

    --Herself
     
  23. Janitor

    Janitor Senior Member

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    !!! This is so odd. I have no idea what to say!

    Wait. Yes I do.

    He was nuts. I'm sorry - but you fell in love with an insane person. Ok. That was a bit flip. He may be perfectly "sane", but certainly - the man has issues with insecurity. Over time, that would probably have been as large a problem as him hating guns would have been. Far, far better for both of you that it was sorted out before you were married.

    Trust me ... there are plenty of us who actually like strong, independant women. Lots.

    I'd love it if my wife and I shared interests like that, and if maybe she'd allow me to be her backup if needed. Hec - she could even make more $$ than I do. :) I think it would be SO cool if some scumbag approached me and "my woman" with ill intent, and she draws on him halting him in his steps, stuttering while trying to back off.

    I would just smile and watch it all unfold. (of course - be prepared to back her up)

    Back on the original topic - I really hope this last event at least sparks serious discussion between you two. She clearly is starting to get it. No need to force feed anything, but I'd think it best if she weren't allowed to forget that feeling of fear, and the feeling of some semblance of security when she verified that you were carrying. That all needs to be explored. Obviously, only when she's receptive to the conversation.
     
  24. dpesec

    dpesec Member

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    Yes, my GF knows I carry. Because of Ohio's plain sight rule, I often don't even bother to tuck it under my shirt when I'm at her house.
    Her roommate doesn't even care. But I was extremely upset at the roommate one time. I took my GF, her mother and the roommate out to dinner. The roommate started talking about how I never go anyplace without my gun. Jan's mother was not too happy about that. Not that I a gun, but the roommate was telling people about it, so was I. It's nobody's business but mine, untill it's needed.
     
  25. 1911Tuner

    1911Tuner Moderator Emeritus

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    Anecdotes

    A similar story involved my closet-anti ex and her daughter...then about 10 years old. We had a flat late one night in a not-so-savory area while passing through toward home turf. Ex-SWMBO...visibly nervous...starts raggin' that _IF_ I had bought into the cell phone deal that we'd be okay now
    because we could lock the doors and call for help. 10 year-old woman-child
    looks at me and asks if I have my gun with me...to which I answered in the affirmative....grins, gives me a hug, turns to mommy and says matter-of-factly: "We'll be okay. He's got a gun to protect us."

    ....Indignant silence prevailed....

    :D
     
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