Paladin 38-40 Says It All!
It does seem like you are rather determined to keep asking until enough respondents agree with you. I don't mean that as a criticism, just an observation.
I'm a bit obsessive when it comes to guns and have tried (literally) EVERY 'pocket' .380 and 9mm generally available (bought and sold most).
My own personal choice is the Sig P238.
Yes, I know the 9mm is a better round for SD...but, in a gun this size, I find that I can shoot the miniature .380 much, much more accurately.
I can place 7 out of 7 rounds in the 9-10 rings at 15-feet, one-handed, every time, after a quick, pocket-draw - in less than 5 seconds.
I simply can't do that with a 9mm in the same basic size.
I'm sure some people can...not me.
If I take the time (which I probably wouldn't have in an emergency situation) to use both hands and shoot more slowly I can put all 7 in the 10 ring at 20-feet.
This is not hard with the P238 (and downright easy with my Sig P-226), but I could not do it with the Kahr PM9, or any other similar-size 9mm. The recoil just twists that little grip in my hand a bit too much to stay on target.
My point is not that I'm a marksman...it's simply that I'd rather put a smaller, less powerful round into a vital spot than 'spray' larger, more powerful rounds that won't hit anything that would immediately end the threat.
I've been shooting all my life, and if I can see such a difference, I'm thinking your wife could too. My bet is she won't LIKE (nor want to shoot) the 9mm but will feel comfortable with the .380 and, therefore, learn to shoot it well.
For the record, my normal daily carry is a Kimber Ultra Covert II .45 ACP w/ Crimson Trace grips.
It's added weight and larger grip allow me to shoot this weapon with great accuracy. But, sometimes, a "pocket-gun" is the only carry option.