Welcome to THR!
1; I need a suggestion on what brand and type of pistol powder, and brand and type of primers i should start out with. .45ACP 230 gr. fmjs (1911)
For powder, i recommend Winchester 231 or Hodgdon HP-38, they are ball powders that meter well, also Bullseye (probably the best .45 ACP powder of all time), unique, and clays. Primers of the Large Pistol type, and any brand should work well. Availability is chief concern, I use winchester and federal, as usually one of the two are in stock at all times. If you want FMJs, but still want to save money, i highly recommend barry's plated bullets or Rainer's plated bullets. they are lead bullets, but are plated to prevent leading of the barrel. You will save the most money here over true FMJS or JHPs, without having to deal with leading. This caliber is VERY easy to load for, and accepts a very wide variety of powders, and is very easy to load accurately.
2; I need a suggestion on what brand and type of rifle powder, and what brand and type of primers i should start with. 5.56x45mm 55gr. fmjs (ar-15)
For .223, another very easy to load caliber, you can get away with literally dozens of powder options.. You can go BLC-2 route, which is again a spherical ball powder which will meter well, and function well in gas operated semi-automatics.. great in ar-15's. you can order surplus powder if you like, such as wc844, which is a ball powder similar to h-335, another good option. For more accurate ammunition, i recommend H4198 and H4895, benchmark, and Varget. Primers here, for automatics, i prefer Remingtons # 7 1/2 primer. from what i've been told it has a harder cup, which is less likely to pierce on a strong firing pin, in an automatic. They are also cheap, and readily available. Or Winchesters Small rifle primer, or federal's #205 or 205M. You can get 55 grain FMJ bullets online from places like hi-techammo.com gibrass.com natchezss.com, and midway.com. If you get pulled bullets of the 55 grain FMJ commercial/military variety, you will save alot of money. I would recommend going this route, and then stashing one or a few bricks (1000 round packs) of emergency ammunition. You can get 250 packs of high quality ammuntion like Nosler Ballistic tips for around 36-38$ online, which puts you at around 150$ or so for 1000 premier bullets. These do well for hunting small to medium game, and are much more accurate and consistent than FMJS. the plugged hollowpoint design feeds much better in semi-automatics and ar-15's than hollowpoints (at least for me.)
3; I need some ideas on how to have a loading bench set up that is not permanent. I live at a fire station, i will be moving out eventually.
If you look above at the stickied "show us your reloading" post, there are pages and pages of designs both permanent, semi permanent and portable. This would be a great place to start, and many of the people would be more than willing to share and send you designs/drawings on how their specific system was built.
4; I need some advise on case prep and cleaning, do I HAVE to get a Tumbler, what can i do to clean the cases without having one?
You don't HAVE to. I highly recommend it, as it is inexpensive, and i would much rather run clean ammunition through a weapon versus dirty brass.
even a cheap midway.com generic vibrating tumbler with some corn cob or ground walnut WITHOUT a polishing agent/cleaner will suffice, if you aren't worried about asthetics. at least then it will remove any debris and obstructions from cases. Most of the other options are more expensive and a bigger hassle (washing cases requires rinsing, and drying racks, stainless media is not only expensive, so are rotating tumblers, ultrasonic cleaners require attention, chemicals and the above drying dilemma) whereas with a regular vibratory cleaner you can dump cases in, leave it on somewhere and come back an hour or so later, or even leave it unattended overnight, and have brand new looking shells in the morning. Media lasts a long time, when it begins to look dirty throw in old used dryer sheets, and they will clean the residue from the media, making the media cleaner, and prolonging it's life.
5: I plan on using lee equipment, why do some dies come with a factory crimper and some dont? what is it, do i have to have it?
I use a crimper for all automatic weapons. I prefer dillon's taper crimp design, as it's alot less troublesome to fool with. There should be a sticky somewhere on Lee's FCD (factory crimp die) that can shed more light on the subject.
And again, welcome to the high road, and good luck on your new hobby!