I hesitate to claim to know the general consensus, but most folks I know consider porting a little silly on personal defense guns. Hunting guns, maybe, but personal defense guns? When was the last time you read of someone who was killed because he was unable to get his follow-up self-defense shot off in a timely manner?
You don't specify the calibers you're considering, but I think porting is unnecessary with the "personal defense" guns you ask about. You're generally not firing cartridges that produce all that much recoil to begin with, and then you'd be bleeding off velocity (often low to start with from personal defense size guns) with the porting.
That said, I just got into a brand-new snub .41 mag Ti Taurus model 415 this weekend that has the porting. The gun weighs under 21 ounces, and the porting does make what would probably be a pretty unpleasant shooting experience bearable - barely. The gun was priced so cheaply that I HAD to buy it (actually, it was part of a trade), and I plan on mostly using it while hiking. If I'd had the choice, I would have gotten it w/o porting, but the porting clearly makes it more pleasant to fire than it would otherwise be.
You betcha there's increased muzzle flash with porting. Is it worth it? Your call. Again, I don't think "personal defense" revos need it. I would say the recoil reduction is substantial in the .41 Ti (I know what these loads feel like in my 4 5/8" 38-oz Blackhawk, and they're not doubly unpleasant in the 21-oz 415), but I've found it to be just moderate in .357 revos. Again, a personal defense-type revo like a .357 is not that hard to control to begin with. Is the flash so bad that you wouldn't use it at night? Well, I'm not a big fan of ANY short bbl revo (with personal defense type ammo) in the dark, so I'm not sure it would make a huge difference in my decision to carry. I mean, this .41 snub is going to throw a ton of flame in the dark, regardless of porting. Same goes for any .357 snub I've shot. I don't think worries about night shooting would play a big part in my personal decision re: porting.
But, personally, I think you're better off spending your money getting your personal defense gun's action smoothed out. Or on ammo for practice.