NC-Mike,
You seem to have a good outlook, willing to learn, admit your troubles and are keeping a positive attitude. I saw you had a squib, and this concerns me a little as it could have also been just as easilly been an overcharge. As I mentioned in my initial post, a bulky moderate speed powder like Unique is a very good powder to use in 9mm, beginner or otherwise. Even at "normal" charges, it nearly fills the case, and will greatly spill over if even a little more powder is added. It's also very forgiving, gives great performance over a wide range of velocities, and is proven over a span of 100 years.
Many ball propellants are very dense, and can result in a 2.5-3x charge in a 9mm case. My best piece of advice that I have stuck to is never seat a bullet until you visually check the case with good lighting for powder level 100%. I have to say I am pleased that you did not start with the absolute fastest powder to start. I have seen more posts from beginners with KB's and other problems that always seem to have "Titegroup" or "Clays" mentioned. IMO, these are terrible powders to start with in 9mm, as they give very little leeway from min to max charges, and if setback does happen while learning how to set up dies properly, pressure spikes are sharp without the somewhat more forgiving nature of slower powders. Another benefit of a larger charge of slower propellant is it can also act as a physical stop for the bullet should it be pushed back.
Keep at it, be safe, and have fun.