Question for Women Shooters

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NeverAgain26

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I want to hear from women on the forum or opinions of wives of members who shoot.

My wife is coming around to my way of seeing gun issues in a slow and steady manner. Years back, we were a no-guns household. 9/11 came and I decided to learn to shoot. She reluctantly tolerated my doing so, but my guns were relegated to being locked in a safe when not at the range. Eventually I got more guns. Then came neighborhood break-ins and I got a quick access gun safe for our bedroom. I keep a S&W 686 loaded in it now. Again, she reluctantly agreed to this. I insisted she learn how to handle a gun in case I wasn't home and there was a need and she came down to the range with some neighbors who also wanted to learn. We all had a good time and now she is a bit more understanding of my passion.

What I want to know from a woman's standpoint is:
- What makes a woman enjoy shooting?
- Why do women shoot?
- Why do women own guns?
- Why is it necessary for a woman to know how to shoot?
- What would appeal to a woman about owning and shooting guns?
- How can I get you to clean my guns:neener: ?

O.K., the last one was a joke, but I want to understand guns from a woman's perspective in order to make the case to my wife from a feminine perspective, to bring her a bit closer to where I stand. I enjoy shooting and I would love to have someone I love be supportive and understanding of this as well as a bit less reluctant. If I could share the joy of what I enjoy, this would be the best-case scenario.

I know the answers from a man's perspective, but that won't help me make my case.

Thanks in advance for your feedback.

NA26
 
Well, uh, I probably own and enjoy guns for the same reasons anyone else does: They're fun; they have a high "gizmo factor"; some are neat pieces of history; they're useful; you can't take a beanie baby, postage stamp, or coin collection to the range (well, you could, but beanie babies have lousy ballistic coefficients, stamps have miserable sectional density, and I doubt I could hit anything past 15 yards with an Indian Head nickel); they're reasonably safe places to store money (easily-liquidated and more fun to play with than CDs or municipal bonds); plus, burnt powder and Hoppe's No.9 both smell really, really cool...
 
NeverAgain,

Not to rain on your parade, but it seems as if you want your wife to LIKE shooting when she's more at the 'tolerating it level'. I say this because I'm much in the same boat as you. I married a BHL (Bleeding Heart Liberal), started buying guns when I convinced her that I was better off with my own weapon than the company's run down ones, have taken her to the range with me and have generally tried to introduce them slowly to someone who until me, hadn't even seen a real gun other than on a cop's belt.

I too decided that she should know how to use the weapons I have in the house for both self-defense reason and more mundane reasons like knowing how to check and clear a weapon. She's been to the range and has shot a rental .22, a 6' Taurus .38spl revolver that my mother gave me (free guns, woohoo!), and both my .40's. She's not a bad shot at all, though she shows a preference for weapons other than the .40's. Even after multiple range trips though, I can't get her to ENJOY it. She sees going to the range as something necessary, but not entertaining, and won't go more often than every few months, whereas I would go shooting every weekend if I could afford it.

Mention of further weapon purchases are met with this 'Damned Marines!' look she's developed. The bottom line is that she sees guns having only utilitarian value, not entertainment value as well. This results in tolerance, but very little enthusiam. If she's not had fun with them by now, I don't think she'll spontaneously start. Unfortunately, women like Tam are too few...


-Teuf
 
Because women as well as men have the attitude "It won't happen to me". Just a couple of months ago I was taking a walk in my neighborhod. A guy pulls up next to me in a pickup truck. I assumed he wanted directions or something...turns out that he was not wearing any pants and was "enjoying himself" while driving. Fortunatly, he was pretty skiddish and harmless, but that could have easily gone bad.

I also like to fill milk jugs up with water and blow them up with my .22 Buckmark. :D

Tamara: Perhaps you are going about that backwards. Try shooting the beanie babies. ;)
 
Actually I only have one beanie baby: an octopus. For some reason I couldn't pass up the opportunity to buy a plush, stuffed mollusc.
 
NeverAgain26...

"What I want to know from a woman's standpoint is:
- What makes a woman enjoy shooting?"

While I cannot answer from a woman's pov, I think I can address this one point.

You cannot MAKE someone enjoy something (not that I think you were trying to, mind you). This is an individual decision that a person, man or woman, has to come to on their own. A person has to have some sort of emotional or other trigger that makes them interested in any particular activity. Whether it be cross-stitching, motorcyles, baking, or shooting.

Many of us men become interested in shooting because it is a "manly" thing, or many times because we are exposed to it at a young age by fathers or other male role models. In my particular case it happened when I went into the AF, so I was later than many.

Women are different than men (THANK GOD FOR THIS!) and often their motivations and interests are far removed from ours. And we as men do not usually recognize this. Thus we often become interested in something for what we consider perfectly good reasons, and expect that others will see this and come to the same conclusions. And we are usually wrong.

I really do not think it is so much a "woman's" issue as it is the particular outlook and interests that develop in each of us. I know many women who are much more interested and involved in shooting sports than I am. Yet they are just as much a woman as those who are not interested in these pursuits. Why the difference? I don't know.

My advice is to back off the issue somewhat, let your wife know that she is welcome to come with you any time, or that you will take her at any time that she wants, but don't try to go beyond this point. She will either become more interested or she will not. But she will have to do it when she decides.

Good luck.
 
Well I did this with the wife and it seemed to work.

"Honey, I want you to share time with me doing something I really enjoy doing". "I want to share with you." "It is important to me that we do things together and I so want to share this part of my life with you." (Beaten puppy dog look and sad eyes are a must at this point).

Well it is all really touchy feely but the wife smiled and said okay.
There is a price to pay though. You have to reciprocate. Remember that you must smile and enjoy the activities she does.

Thank goodness my wife does not like the ballet!:D
 
My story is a little different than Path's. I had a pretty sizable collection when we were married. She knew that most of the guns came from my grandfather and were very important to me. One day I told her that it was time to go to the range for some practice. I simply asked her if she wanted to go. Like most of the red blooded liberal American females, she refused. Yep tolerance mode. Did this about three times then asked, "Why not". After a little talking she admitted that she knew nothing about guns and really didn't care for them. I used logic. (Flame bait with this next statement) which usually doesn't work when applied by a husband to a wife. Not that women do not believe that their husbands don't know what they are talking about. Just that after marriage the hubby's opinion becomes irrelavent. :neener:

I just told here that all she needed to shoot a few to become comfortable with them in the house. This way she will also understand that they will not go off on thier own, run across the room and all the other idiocy that she has been told.

Long story short, I created a monster. She is a bigger gun nut than I am. I have lost most of my gun collection to her. Everytime I build or buy a new gun, she shoots it and after the big grin, she says "Mine Now!" :what:
 
Let's see if I remember this all...:D I own guns because I wanted to get a job in armed security as it pays more. That's why I bought them in the first place. Hence, the S&W 442 which I hate. :fire: Secondly, I own the Beretta pistols since I'm Sicilian and couldn't resist and they're beautiful guns. What makes shooting enjoyable is ear plugs AND the ear protection. Loud sounds are painful for women and that could be a huge draw back if you're trying to get a woman interested in the sport. Another thing that makes it unpleasant is when men tell me what handgun is for me. I take a Beretta in any size so I don't appreciate hearing about the glory of revolvers. Give me a pistol any day. Lastly, additional instruction from a NRA teacher goes a long way to build confidence. My two cents...:)

As far as cleaning your guns...give me the money for custom job at Langdon for my Berettas and we'll talk. :evil:
 
Hello All.

My suggestion is to get away from the range and go plinking. While my sons and I really enjoy punching holes in paper, my daughter finds it pretty boring. She really enjoys plinking, though. I think it is because there is a more immediate feedback and a more relaxed atmosphere. (No guy on the next lane letting loose with a .45-70 cannon) Wait for a nice sunny day, take her out to a junkyard or a pasture with a boatload of tin cans, bottles, jugs, junk from around the house, and turn her loose. Let her try shooting from various positions; let her try to skip a can across the field with successive shots; in short, let her play. Now, I know, play is not normally a word we like to associate with firearms, but for her to enjoy it, it has to be fun. Play is fun. As always, play by the rules. This has worked wonders with my daughter. She's a crack shot with her Remington 597, which irritates her younger brother to no end. :D
 
That's a great suggestion actually. I know when I'm at the range, I find it very annoying to have some guy next to me letting loose with his guns. I jump constantly from the noise. Going outside is a great idea. Wish I had the option to do something like that but I'm nowhere near that type of setting.
 
Another woman chiming in...

What makes a woman enjoy shooting?

===> Well, from my POV, it's just darned FUN. I like target-oriented activities that require me to build and develop my skill. Shooting fits the bill beautifully. It allows me to always challenge myself. Plus, I simply love the smell of gunpowder in the morning (and in the afternoon, and the evening - you get the idea :neener: !).

Why do women shoot?

===> For all sorts of reasons. I shoot because I enjoy it. From the practical standpoint, I want to keep my skills at a respectable level should I ever be called upon to defend myself or somebody else from harm.

Why do women own guns?

===> Again, all sorts of reasons. Me, I own 'em because 1). they're darned fun and darned cool - as Tamara said, they're great gizmos and fascinating pieces of history 2). they are the most efficient means of protecting my person and my loved ones 3). to me, they represent FREEDOM. I could not explain myself on this one any better than Dennis Bateman, who wrote a lovely, moving essay on this subject, which can be found here:

http://www.thefiringline.com/Misc/library/Metal_and_Wood.html

Why is it necessary for a woman to know how to shoot?

===> Women tend to be smaller than men, and we are more readily preyed upon by people who wish to cause others harm. Those of us who don't wish ourselves, our families, or our kids to be sitting ducks for the evil troglodytes who plague humanity are well-advised to make use of an effective "equalizer."

What would appeal to a woman about owning and shooting guns?

===> Self-reliance. Skill. Freedom. Dignity. Fun. BANG! :D
 
I have only been shooting about 2 years

but I love it! (BTW, I am female, 49 yrs. old)

What makes me enjoy it? I am a decent shot...it is something that came easily to me after some good instruction.

Why do women shoot? I shoot because I like the challenge of improving, and my favorite perfumes are eau de gunpowder and nitro solvent.

Why do women own guns? OK, if I can drive, I want a vehicle; if I can play a guitar, I want one to practice with...same for guns. I want them because I like them and I like using them.

Why do women need to know how to shoot? Read the headlines. Even in small towns, there are more assaults than there were 10 years ago. It may be my imagination, but seems like more of the population is just out-right mean---willing to take a life (mine!) for next to to nothing. I like to have the knowledge and power to defend myself.

What would appeal to a woman about shooting and owning guns? I like being prepared. I hope I never have to use a gun to defend myself...BUT I like knowing I can if the need arises.
 
I'd like to add if there's any question why women need to learn how to handle firearms, check out the numbers. Woman and children represent the highest risk group for being victimized by extreme violence. They're ask risk for rape, abuse (family/boyfriend), stalking, and at risk for random violence. How could anyone that reads the papers or listen to the news ask such a question -- other than living in a shell oblivious to their social evironment.
 
It might take a couple of steps

My soon to be wife and step daughters were anti when we met.

After they realized I enjoyed shooting, and wasn't a raving gun nut, they started to accept my trips to the range as a normal outing, like playing golf only lots less expensive.

The next step was to de-mystify the object. I took my Buck Mark and my Colt Pocketlite, both smaller, lighter guns down to the kitchen table one evening to "clean" them. I explained that I never had any ammunition in the same room when I was cleaning a gun for safety reasons.

Then, I showed them how to properly clear a gun and the basic rules of safe gun handfling. All within the safe and familiar confines of my home. Natural curiousity played a big part as well as patience.

After a while I invited all 3 of them to join me on a trip to the range.

I picked a nice clean and well lit range near my home, where a lot of other women shoot, and we took only a few smaller pistols. Low recoil, low noise. I also talked to the range owner and got us a lane at the far end to use for instructional shooting so we didn't have the Dirty Harry wannabee's blasting away next to us.

To make a long story tolerable, the girls love shooting now, the mystery and danger that the typical anti thrives on are gone and they see guns for the tools they can be.

One of the girls goes shooting with me all the time, the other has tried it and it's "OK, but not like her favorite thing to do". I'll settle for that.

Now I have to figure how to get my Buckmark with the red dot back from them at the range and get to use it myself again.

Good luck

Don P.
 
Why is it necessary for a woman to know how to shoot?

===> Women tend to be smaller than men, and we are more readily preyed upon by people who wish to cause others harm. Those of us who don't wish ourselves, our families, or our kids to be sitting ducks for the evil troglodytes who plague humanity are well-advised to make use of an effective "equalizer."
Click to expand...

I read an interesting factoid once. In non-leo self defense shootings, men kill the attacker roughly 55% of the time. Women on the other hand have an 80% rate of kills. :what:

The article explained why and it made tons of sense. It has to do with the way most women hold the gun and how the attacker comes at them. Men will go weaver, isocolese or what ever. The attacker will generally come at men at an angle. Like when you know your going to get into a fight, you naturally turn at an angle to your advesary. When a male mutant attacks a woman, he does not have the same anticipation of resistance and come straight at her, even when armed with a gun. The ladies, who were mostly untrained, tended to hold the firearm infront of them with both hands, centered to thier torso, their elbows locked at their sides. This postioning puts the muzzle in a straight line to the bag guys middle. The bullets are sent straight into the abdominal aorta or that other big vain that goes down the middle, which name I can't remember.
 
"The bullets are sent straight into the abdominal aorta or that other big vain that goes down the middle, which name I can't remember."

I think it's the posterior vena cava
 
What I want to know from a woman's standpoint is:
- What makes a woman enjoy shooting?
- Why do women shoot?
- Why do women own guns?
- Why is it necessary for a woman to know how to shoot?
- What would appeal to a woman about owning and shooting guns?
Click to expand...
Dunno about "a" woman, or even about "women." I know a little bit about this woman, from the inside. :)

I enjoy the feeling of power when I shoot a gun -- the knowledge that I am holding in my hands the means to protect myself and my family from someone bigger and stronger than I am. I enjoy shooting a handgun with stiff recoil and enjoy learning more about them every trip to the range. I like the feeling of learning a new physical skill and like the mental challenge of learning some of the why's and wherefore's of handgun ballistics.

Of course, I enjoyed few or none of those things when I first started shooting; I learned to enjoy such things as I went along. Mostly I got into shooting because a good friend invited me to come along and learn how to shoot, and because I recognized for myself that the police would not ever, ever, ever show up at my rural home in time to prevent carnage if a BG came through the front door. So I started into handguns because I had a felt need to learn how to shoot; this wasn't something someone else had pointed out, but something I had already realized on my own.

When I hold a gun, I really do enjoy the realization that I am doing something that not many other women enjoy doing. If your wife is the sort of woman who does not enjoy that sort of knowledge, you're going to have to make sure that she always has plenty of other, supportive women around her when she goes to the range.

Even so, don't underestimate peer pressure. For some people, just the ... mmmm, suspicion? .... that others won't approve is enough to steal some of the joy out of an activity. For those with a strong need for others' approval, things which others won't express approval of simply aren't fun and never will be.

When I first started shooting, I did not enjoy seeing my shots on paper. I would far rather have a knock-down target, or a swing plate, or a resetting steel target. These are far more forgiving of beginning marksmanship, and give an immediate reward for good shooting. It is unbelievably discouraging to shoot your best, and be rewarded with holes splattered all over (and off of) the paper. No matter that the beginner "should" be encouraged by the number of shots which hit the intended target, the normal human thing to do is to focus upon the holes which didn't hit where they were supposed to. That's very discouraging. So I really think some kind of knock-down target is best, because it rewards good shooting by falling over, and does not keep a record of the bad shots. Later on, of course, a record of the bad shots can be valuable. But right at the beginning, it's a real dampener.

- How can I get you to clean my guns ?
Click to expand...
No chance. If I can get someone else to do it, I will weasel out of cleaning 'em myself, every time.

Hope that helps a bit.

pax

Men are taught to apologize for their weaknesses, women for their strengths. -- Lois Wyse
 
A good father helps.
Fun.
Control of ones life.
Job.
Did I mention fun?:p
 
I read an interesting factoid once. In non-leo self defense shootings, men kill the attacker roughly 55% of the time. Women on the other hand have an 80% rate of kills.
Click to expand...

Based only on my limited experience this is true because women tend to keep on clicking 'til he quits kicking.
 
... sigh ...

Just from personal experience (and it lines up with most of our friends):

1) It's originated from a basic enjoyment of being self-reliant. (I screamed for help and begged goblins to stop pounding me - and nobody came, even after the goblins left. Never again) As a teacher, I find that when a girl wakes up and smells the coffee and looks up her municipality's violent crime stats, she's got few inhibitions to learning self-defense; and that has almost always led to a study and enjoyment of firearms. Sadly, many of my students/friends have only 'come to their senses' after surviving violence.

2) Basic competence - and it's usually evolved to personal competition: we (Susan and I) enjoy the feeling that we are continuously working on higher levels of proficiency. Surpassing each goal feels very good!

3) See answers one and two. Beyond that, it is a personal selection prioritized on quality, absolute reliability and ergonomics - and NOT in that order for any given personal purchase. "My gun" has as much intimacy as "My lingerie;" or even "My toothbrush."

4.a) From a self-defense orientation, goblins choose the most seemingly vulnerable target; and in a suit and dress heels it's like throwing chum to sharks. To those with testosterone poisoning, almost any opportunity/fantasy fulfillment seems to be justification enough - and then it's time to competently immediately send said goblin(s) straight to hell.

4.b) From a sense of balanced competence and self-reliance, including the pleasure of hunting for our own food and not having to rely on anybody else? That's already been answered, I think.

5) See above.

6) :rolleyes: :D And as this is a family board, I won't go into any specifics of who you'd have to be and/or what you'd have to do to get me to clean your guns...

Hugs!

Trisha
 
Great responses and thanks to all of you.

I am not trying to 'make' my wife like shooting. I wanted to understand why it appealed to women who do shoot in order to somehow point out those reasons to my wife when we were discussing the subject.

My wife is her own person (G-d Bless her) and a pretty independent thinker. She is open to logic. I, being a man, had no idea what would appeal to women about shooting so I could not point those things out to her.

Based on the responses, I have a pretty good idea of shooting from a woman's standpoint and I can make those points when the topic comes up.

Thanks, again, all of you.

NA26
 
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