Quite possibly the stupidest thing I've heard in some time

[HankB]

This sort of reminds me of an old skit on the Carol Burnett show.

Little old ladies are talking about crime. Little old lady #1 is prepared, shows LOL#2 she's got a blackjack, a knife, Mace, handcuffs, a whistle, etc. in her handbag.

Purse snatcher comes along, grabs the bag, and runs off.

LOL#2 says words to the effect of "Well, he took your bag. All that stuff didn't do you any good now, did it?"

LOL#1 says, "Well, I don't know about that." At which point she reaches under her shawl and pulls out a detonator box - you know, the kind with a "T" handle on top - and pushes the handle down.

BIG explosion off stage.

 

[Lone Star]

I know a couple of Dutch chicks via another (non gun) forum and I e-sent this thread to one.

She has excellent English and is very witty. She has already seen the story in The Netherlands, and thought that the designers have to have rocks for brains!

But maybe the purses are meant as a fashion item. Some of those have always been silly.

Lone Star

 

[Joe Demko]

I have one that shows the outline of an enormous sex toy and tube of petroleum jelly. The muggers cross the street to avoid me.

 

[Bart Noir]

And Joe, if they cross the street towards you they might have something other than theft in mind.

Bart Noir

 

[carebear]

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

 

[Ginger]

Forget the gun imprint. I want to know about the crucifix!

Are the criminals so utterly secular that brandishing a Christian religious symbol will deter crime? Are they vampires? Would the sight of a crucifix be sooo offensive that they would cross the street?

 

[Warren]

Your drunken, angry, bitter monkey pales in comparison to my tripping, frothing, rabid Wookie. Nobody messes with Shroombacca.

Dude, try being realistic. There is no way you could fit a Wookie in one of those bags.

 

[carebear]

Here2learn,

You are missing the concept, he doesn't have to fit an actual wookie in the bag, he just has to put an imprint of one on the side.

Duh.

 

[atek3]

That bag is fine, so long as a) hey have a real gun IWB and b) you live in a state like texas where defense of one's property (the bag) is legal.

atek3

 

[nomadboi]

The crucifix is to ward of Vampires, of course.
I hear they have a real problem with them up there...

 

[standingbear]

yea..I want a backpack with a bright outline of an mac on it......oh the horror

 

[Eskimo Jim]

that's absurd. If you're going to talk the talk, you've got to walk the walk. They should focus on 1) repealing the stupid laws that prohibit citizens from obtaining and carrying "life safety devices" aka handguns and 2) lock up the criminals and throw away the key.

-Jim

 

[QuarterBoreGunner]

Monkeys, Penguins and Wookies… oh my.

I have GOT to get some sort of air-bag deployable keyboard/monitor cover; key’d to execute on THR when ‘hilarity ensues’.

 

[SunBear]

Standing Wolf: Clever and succinct as usual

 

[Warren]

Carebear:

If you knew anything at all about the Star Wars universe you would, of course, know that Wookies are 7' + tall and upwards of 450 pounds so any thief or mugger with two braincells to rub together would know that there is no way a Wookie could fit into such a tiny bag.

Next you'll be telling me that the overrated NCC-1701 could best a Star Destroyer in a one-on-one fight.

:banghead:

 

[carebear]

Since the NCC-1701 A,C OR D models can fire while at warp speed, they would simply volley fire overloaded photon torpedos while making "strafing runs." The Imperial shields couldn't stand up to that kind of energy, nor could they track or hit the Enterprise at warp. Heck, they missed large, immobile Calamari cruisers at point blank range.

No contest, Federation win.

And maybe it was a runt Wookie, and a slightly bigger bag. Perhaps a duffle?

I don't know why that would be a problem for you to accept, since you are obviously living in some kind of a fantasy la-la land where any Star Wars ship could pull off even a draw against a warp equipped vessel.

 

[Warren]

Oh foolish Carebear.....


A standard Trek photon torpedo has a yield of about 64 megatons. The heavy guns on an Aclamator class Star Destroyer produce 200 gigatons/volley. This means that one blast from a Star Destroyer’s heavy guns is equivalent to getting hit by about 3000 photon torpedoes. This suggests that an ISD could probably vaporize a puny Federation ship in a single blast – and since ISDs are designed to survive combat against similarly-armed ships, it isn’t clear that a Federation ship would even be capable of damaging a Star Destroyer.


Lets do some math hmmm.....


Enterprise-E:
Length: 685 meters
Width: 224 meters
Height: 88 meters
Mass: 3.25 million metric tons

Star Destroyer:
Length: 1,600 meters
Height: 460 meters
Width: 885 meters
Mass: 25 million metric tons
It also carries 77 small fighters.



I doubt that any of the ncc-1701 ships could even mark an ISD.

 

[carebear]

I believe I specified a spread of over-loaded torpedos. The Fed. Cruiser's biggest worry, since it couldn't be hit, would be running out of ammo. Course then it could just peck away with phasers, or improvise some sort of anti-matter weapon.

Or just aim for the bridge or weak spots with their far superior scanning and tracking technology. How big and over-firepowered is a Borg cube? One shot took one of them out.

Meanwhile the guys in the Destroyers crew with the funny hats would be running around trying to figure out where the explosions are coming from.

 

[crt360]

How about one with some fake sticks of fused dynamite duct taped to the outside? Carry it with a lit Camel hanging off your lip.

 

[QuarterBoreGunner]

here2learn, carebear... I ... I... I think I love you guys... *sniff*... I <heart> the intarweb... you guys can drink out of my canteen anytime...

 

[carebear]

One of the most uber-geek moments it was ever my pleasure to witness was a miniatures-based space combat simulation at a GenCon where some guys had actually taken the time to figure out the comparative values and adjust for differences and pitted a Federation Constitution-class cruiser, an Imperial Star Destroyer and the Battlestar Galactica against each other. Fighters included.

I couldn't follow half of it. I was helping run the 1st annual National Mr. Mouth tournament a few stalls down.

 

[fistful]

Obviously, neither of you armchair astronauts has spent any time in Star Fleet. As a 20-year veteran of the Fleet, let me tell you that we would win, because in the movies the good guy always wins - eventually.

 

[carebear]

I hadn't even gotten to the secret trump move. Simultaneously teleport those torpedos onto the bridge, the landing bay and the engine room(s).

No non-shielded ship stands a chance against it.

 

[ZeroX]

You buncha dorks.

 

[carebear]

We're "aficianados".

Dorks are the ones who dress up like Japanese anime characters or vampires. They play collectable card games with 10-year olds and brag about winning. They refer to female comic book characters as their "girlfriends."

Those are dorks.