Could you recomend a brand and caliber for me?
Chef, my personal favorites in a 357 Mag wheelgun are the Ruger GP-100, S&W 686 - pre-lock 686 so you must buy used, and the S&W 66 - discontinued so must be bought used as well. I've also had good experiences with Taurus and Rossi wheelguns.
Reliabilty: Must fire when absolutely nessicary (isn't that what everyone wants?)
Test the gun after you buy it because any company can let a bad one slip out. However any revolver from a major manufacturer is a good bet for reliability.
Stopping Power: One shot will put him down
The "one shot stop" is an urban legend. There are no magic bullets. You must be prepared to engage the target and fire until it is no longer a threat. Shot placement stops attacks.
Easy Handling: Be able to pull it out of a night stand and fire quickly.
That's a subjective thing. You need to go to a gunshop and handle several to see what works for
you
Accuracy: enough to be able to hit something in the dark.
Again, an unrealistic expectation.
Review the 4 rules.
1. Treat every firearm as if it is loaded
2. Never point a firearm at anything you do not intend to shoot/kill/destroy
3. Know your target and what is beyond it
4. Keep your finger off the trigger until ready to fire
Look at 2 and 3. If you're firing into the dark how can you know what your target is and what is beyond it? If you don't know what your target is how can you know you want to point a firearm toward it to shoot? Get a good light like a surefire, streamlight, etc to keep with the gun so you can ID your target first, then aim and fire if you identify it to be a threat. On the same note use 38 Specials, not 357 mags, in the gun for home defense. Indoors the muzzle blast from a 357 will damage your hearing, and the blast in low light will kill your night vision - you'll be flash blinded for several seconds with your ears ringing. When seconds count you must be able to make a quick follow up shot or shots. The lower recoil and muzzle flip of the 38 special loads will further help with this
Range Firing: be able to go to the range and have fun with it.
A 357 Mag loaded with 38 specials will provide plenty of fun at the range. The ability to use full house magnums adds the big boom and recoil fun, and also makes the 357 Mag revolver a very versatile tool.
Keep asking questions and let us know what you're thinking.