Kraylon,
I think you're missing the point here. It's not the OAL that's the problem. It's the ogive of the bullet contacting the rifling in the leade of the barrel. Different shaped bullets require different Over All Lengths, because what you're mostly concerned with is the volume of the case, not the length of the loaded round, in most cases.
In this case, with the SD's shorter leade (the portion of the chamber that transitions from the actual chamber to the start of the rifling), the shape of the bullet is determining the depth of the seating. You want to get the bearing surface of the bullet inside the case, where it won't interfere with the rifling when chambered.
Of course, the OAL also comes into play with semi-auto pistols due to the magazine, too. Some chambers will accept "long loaded" bullets, but the magazine won't, but that's not the problem here.
And yes, the "M" stands for Match in the XD-M.
Try this, remove the barrel from the pistol and drop one of your loaded rounds into the chamber and see how far it goes in. Then drop a factory round into the chamber and see how far it goes in. You should be able to see the difference, and it's probably only a couple of thousandths, since you say some of your reloads chambered normally. You can also blacken one of your reloads with a Sharpie and drop it into the chamber and gently push it with your finger and then remove it and see where the blackening is scraped off. This will tell you where the contact points are.
Of course, any time you shorten the OAL of a given load you'll have to adjust the powder charge accordingly.
Hope this helps.
Fred