Self Defense Mindset Article

[Rail Driver]

A friend of mine made a comment I've heard many times before, mostly from women. She said "If someone broke into my house, I'd take out a knee cap but I wouldn't shoot to kill". After becoming involved in a discussion with her and others about the topic, I've decided to write an article on defense in the home. I don't want the article to get confused with all sorts of advice on different laws in different states since this will primarily be an article geared towards the largest audience possible, though I will advise my readers to know the laws in their jurisdiction and to follow them.

I intend to address the required mindset primarily, but I will also address topics such as weapons (knives, bats/sticks and improvised weapons as well as firearms), tactics, emergency drills, training and practice, and post-event actions (dealing with police, attorneys, etc). I'd like to keep it concise and to the point, but still have enough information included to be a fairly thorough article.

I'd like input from the THR community as to what your thoughts are on the subject. If anybody has been through a home invasion situation, please feel free to relate your experience and things you would do differently if you could get a "do-over". I plan to use some of your comments in the article and I would like to give credit to my sources, but if you'd rather remain anonymous, please let me know in your reply to this thread, and if you'd like something other than your screen name here noted in the article when I credit the source, feel free to let me know in the thread or via PM.

 

[Certaindeaf]

When push comes to shove and the lives of their children etc. are at stake, I'd venture they'd change their tune pretty quick.

 

[Rail Driver]

When push comes to shove and the lives of their children etc. are at stake, I'd venture they'd change their tune pretty quick.

This may be true in some cases (or even most), but I've always been of the opinion that one needs to cultivate the proper mindset BEFORE being confronted with a home invader, rather than while the goblin is kicking in one's door.

 

[denton]

Even though I'm very much into shooting, I have an adult daughter who was always a little queasy around guns.

A few months ago, the family came home from church to find their back door open, and their computer, camera, checkbook, and spare house keys gone. Of course, we immediately reinforced the doors, changed the locks, and her husband locked down their checking accounts. A couple of nights later, she was awakened by sounds in her back yard. She looked out, and a group of 3-4 people was trying various keys in her back door. Her husband moved to protect the children in the upper bedrooms, and she went flying down the stairs to stand guard over their teenage daughter. Halfway down the stairs, she realized that she had absolutely no means to fend off the invaders if they got past the door lock (They didn't. The door was very secure by then.).

Right there in the middle of the flight of stairs, she had a change of heart about guns and about defending her family.

Next morning she demanded, and got, the loan of my wife's snubby 38. Now she has one of her own. More important, she has the mindset that will allow her to instantly put two rounds in the center of mass of any intruder without having to spend time thinking about it.

That lets me sleep a lot better.

 

[mnrivrat]

I don't think there is a right way or wrong way to look at this type of question. The fact is that everybody is different, and so is the circumstance.

Some folks can't get comfortable with the thought of hurting some one else, even if it means personal sacrifice.
They may pay the ultimate price for their thinking, but that is their choice.

For the most part when faced with a life threatening situation the basic instinct to survive should kick in. It may or may not be too late when that moment arrives, but it is diffently too late to prepare if you haven't already done so. Your choice should be made in advance, or the out come might just be taken out of your hands.

Under the stress of a life threatening circumstance the ability to target shooting someone in the knee may be easier for some to think of, but the reality is even well trained folks can empty a gun without hitting anything when the time and circumstance arrives. That's why center of mass is most commonly called for in training.

Not everybody will get it. It will be too late if danger occures for them, and that is just the way it is.

 

[abq87120]

I have not had a home invasion or even an SD situation. My mind set is to avoid trouble when at all possible. All the time and every time. If that doesn't work, inside the house I would check to make absolutely sure I'm not drawing down on the wife first thing (no kids). If that's not an issue, I am fully prepared to put two in the heart and one in each eye. Or a couple of loads of #6 anywhere. Why wait to see if they are armed? Let them get the drop on me? NOT!

 

[Rail Driver]

Before this thread goes any further, I'd like to mention one thing. Let's please try to avoid "This is what I'd do if my door is kicked in" type comments... We all know you'd put 2 in the chest and one in the head or whatever Rambo-esque comment you make by rote... That's not what I'm looking for.

I'm primarily looking for information on how you might mentally prepare yourself to defend your home or family. Training tips, equipment tips, emergency drills and how to plan them, how you teach and involve your family in your defensive plans, etc. are the things I'm looking for. I don't need the "I sleep with my shotgun under my pillow" or "I carry a .45 because they don't make a .46" comments, as entertaining as they are.

Thanks for the replies I've gotten so far. They will be very useful.

 

[Risky]

I've found that if someone is resistant to discuss and preparing for a self defense scenario, whether that be roommate, family member, spouse or significant other, that its much better to just get as far with them as you can without alienating them. Some folks on here would have no problems driving a spouse to divorce if they refused to participate in self defense training as its that important to them.

However, I've found that most people who are opposed to the defensive use of guns on moral grounds or otherwise could easily be at least talked into shooting silhouette targets a couple of times a year.

If they can take the weapon, show acceptable marksmanship, and understand how the gun functions... I would consider them 'basically trained' and be very happy with that. Truth is, that level of competence with a firearm is 10 times ahead of your average American this day and age.

 

[SabbathWolf]

Given the limitation of the type of input you want here, it makes it tougher.
What is it that you "want" to hear?

Point of fact is that you "do" shoot to kill, or you don't shoot at all.
You cannot half step it.
If you shoot to wound on purpose, you'll be torn up in court because that will cause reasonable doubt as to whether your life, or someone else, was actually in enough danger to warrant shooting in the first place.

*Alarm systems, good locks, dogs, etc....all good ideas.
*So is a safe room where everybody practices meeting up in an emergency.
*Keep a charged cell phone in there at all times too in case your house phone line gets cut.

If you are trying to teach kids or frightened adults to shoot....make a non-threatening game of it at first to ease the tension.
Blow up a bunch of balloons and give a price to the kid who hits the most like at a carnival.
But reward the other kids too with lesser prizes just for trying.
Encourage self-improvement and friendly competition.
Then move on later to the more serious aspects "after" they have grown less intimidated by shooting firearms in the first place.

Chicken adults are a little tougher.
Promise your wife or girlfriend a romantic dinner, candlelit bath, full-body massage, what they like..."if" and "only" if they shoot at and hit -X- amount of targets or balloons or whatever. The key is to make it "fun" for the novice at first so they don't feel overwhelmed and scared by serious talk and boogie-man scenarios.

That's my 2 cents anyways....but again, I'm not sure what you are looking for.

 

[sgtredleg]

This thread is a rather tall order.
I've never had a door kicked in on my house or anything of that magnitude. I have been in a warzone where my mind was going a thousand miles an hour, but fortunately (for me) few shots were fired.
Over the years I've used several techniques and drills to prep for a self defense situation. Most were based on standard training techniques of various agencies or organizations as well as some live self defense actions as interpreted from others.
I am not an expert. But I do have a skillset that I'm prepared to use. (hopefully it will work if needed).
Some of MY points of consideration:

1) There is ALWAYS someone who is better at individual combat than I. (and they may be my opponent.)
2) Because of #1, AVOID, AVOID and AVOID situations where combat becomes essential.
3) IF I am forced to defend myself or loved ones and innocents, it is NO HOLDS BARRED! Give it all I can, any way I can. (I must survive!)
4) Prepare your mind to fight while you are BADLY wounded.
5) In what may seem contradictory to #3: Prepare yourself to die while fighting. To explain, if your mind is prepared to die before you enter combat, then your mind is no longer inhibited or stalemated by the thought of your death. This is NOT a suicide wish, it is a clear-headed-ness that allows for maximum concentration on destroying your opponent. Yet, if your BEST efforts fail, your sacrifice may mean the survival of loved ones or innocents.
6) Train, Train and Train. Be very good with your skills and weaponry. Whether its Verbal Judo, Hand-to-Hand combat, Knives, Pistolcraft, Battle Rifles or all of them, know them very well!
7) Keep as physically fit as possible.
8) Compensate for age. Modify your techniques as you get older. ie: instead of high kicks to the head, strike regions below the belt-line.
9) Do the what if's. As you go about your daily business incorporate these what if excercises into your daily situations. ie: Your at your job behind the reception desk dealing with an agitated customer. There are a few other people in the immediate vicinity, but you are unarmed. As you use your Verbal Judo, quickly run the what if's. What if he attempts to deliver a roundhouse. What if he jumps over the counter to attack me or what if he pulls a gun out.
Hopefully, you already have a plan/skillset in place for these and similar scenarios, so at this point the what if's are just keeping your mind engaged and aware of what may occur and your response.
10) Prepare for the aftermath. Have a plan on what to do after the combat is over. ie: Is your opponent or threat eliminated? Is the area and threat secured? Is medical attention required? Have the police been notified, if not what do you say in your initial call for assistance? Can you leave your opponent to make a phone call, is someone else available?
These and many other considerations should be addressed and resolved BEFORE you commit to the act of self defense. Certainly, no one is perfect, but as a responsible individual, these and other criteria should be a continuous part of your combat training and self defense efforts. Make it count!

 

[mnrivrat]

No matter what else goes into the mix (and there is plenty to talk about) I believe that discussion should include layers of protection. Security starts at the property line and barriers between that and the inside of your home should be given a lot of thought.

That can be anything from where you plant your scrubs, to exterior lighting, and types of door locks. Every added barrier to keeping the unwanted out is a step to being safer in your home.

 

[Manson]

Mindset much like accuracy are easy to over think and difficult to maintain in a crisis. At the range on a good day I shoot pretty well. During a home invasion I'd be satisfied with a hit or hits. Which as we all know is why the focus on center mass.

Training and mindset spare us from the burden of complex thought and decision making in a situation where many can barely control their bladder let alone their gun hand. With practice what happens when it's needed should be a response with very little thought.

If the basic premise to be discussed is specific and small target focus. During a moment of high stress, in the dark, against as many as four armed assailants. I can only say that I admire those who think it possible and themselves capable.

 

[2zulu1]

If you're going to write a mindset article simply use your personal combat experiences as a starting point and inject the mindset experiences of others you have spoken with over the years.

When training women who have never fired a gun in their lives, we have a long face to face conversation about lethal force and its ramifications before getting into any discussion about gun safety protocol and shooting.

One example I use with a female/new student is; I've been wounded in an attack, what is she going to do to keep myself and herself from being injured further? Given the couple scenario, the person perceived to be the dominant protector (typically the male) will be injured first followed by the female. In this scenario the female has become the primary defender out of necessity and it's her responsibility to keep the situation from deteriorating further.

If a person has a fail to engage mindset, then a decision needs to be made about the type, if any, of a personal defense training program to enroll in.

Mindset, skillset (shoot, move, communicate) and weapon; in that order.

 

[Rail Driver]

Mindset, skillset (shoot, move, communicate) and weapon; in that order.

That's the order I am set on for organizing the article, as well as the order things should be addressed when preparing.

Thank you all for the input, much of it will be quite valuable in my article.
I plan to begin organizing and writing the article itself this evening, but will continue to monitor this thread for further information.

 

[2zulu1]

This thread is a rather tall order.
I've never had a door kicked in on my house or anything of that magnitude. I have been in a warzone where my mind was going a thousand miles an hour, but fortunately (for me) few shots were fired.
Over the years I've used several techniques and drills to prep for a self defense situation. Most were based on standard training techniques of various agencies or organizations as well as some live self defense actions as interpreted from others.
I am not an expert. But I do have a skillset that I'm prepared to use. (hopefully it will work if needed).
Some of MY points of consideration:

1) There is ALWAYS someone who is better at individual combat than I. (and they may be my opponent.)
2) Because of #1, AVOID, AVOID and AVOID situations where combat becomes essential.
3) IF I am forced to defend myself or loved ones and innocents, it is NO HOLDS BARRED! Give it all I can, any way I can. (I must survive!)
4) Prepare your mind to fight while you are BADLY wounded.
5) In what may seem contradictory to #3: Prepare yourself to die while fighting. To explain, if your mind is prepared to die before you enter combat, then your mind is no longer inhibited or stalemated by the thought of your death. This is NOT a suicide wish, it is a clear-headed-ness that allows for maximum concentration on destroying your opponent. Yet, if your BEST efforts fail, your sacrifice may mean the survival of loved ones or innocents.
6) Train, Train and Train. Be very good with your skills and weaponry. Whether its Verbal Judo, Hand-to-Hand combat, Knives, Pistolcraft, Battle Rifles or all of them, know them very well!
7) Keep as physically fit as possible.
8) Compensate for age. Modify your techniques as you get older. ie: instead of high kicks to the head, strike regions below the belt-line.
9) Do the what if's. As you go about your daily business incorporate these what if excercises into your daily situations. ie: Your at your job behind the reception desk dealing with an agitated customer. There are a few other people in the immediate vicinity, but you are unarmed. As you use your Verbal Judo, quickly run the what if's. What if he attempts to deliver a roundhouse. What if he jumps over the counter to attack me or what if he pulls a gun out.
Hopefully, you already have a plan/skillset in place for these and similar scenarios, so at this point the what if's are just keeping your mind engaged and aware of what may occur and your response.
10) Prepare for the aftermath. Have a plan on what to do after the combat is over. ie: Is your opponent or threat eliminated? Is the area and threat secured? Is medical attention required? Have the police been notified, if not what do you say in your initial call for assistance? Can you leave your opponent to make a phone call, is someone else available?
These and many other considerations should be addressed and resolved BEFORE you commit to the act of self defense. Certainly, no one is perfect, but as a responsible individual, these and other criteria should be a continuous part of your combat training and self defense efforts. Make it count!

Very well written and your post brought back a flood of memories. Long ago and in a faraway place I had to deal with my own mortality, after that night, life was just easier and there were never any intrusive thoughts about death during critical situations.

The ability to remain focused, in spite of the possibilities of various intrusive thoughts, is critical not only to one's self, but also to others who are dependent upon you.

 

[barstoolguru]

"If someone broke into my house, I'd take out a knee cap but I wouldn't shoot to kill".

good luck on that one, I love when people make these comments. they spend 1 hour a year at the range if that and they are an expert shooter

 

[Jim K]

I agree. If she is amenable, take her to a range and compare a target to a knee cap, then have her shoot at it at, say, 7 yards. I think she will realize that the "shoot off his hangnail" school of defense is totally unrealistic.

Usually this thinking comes from the family and/or the news media. Every time a police officer kills someone, the cry goes up, "Why didn't the cop just wing him?" or "They should have just shot the gun out of his hand, like on TV." Another version is, "Even though he pointed that shotgun at the cops and fired three shots, they should have known he didn't mean any harm."

Jim

 

[tomaz45]

I would encourage everyone to take a few minutes to read Col. Jeff Cooper's essay "Principles of Personal Defense" and/or his presentaion on "Mental Conditioning for Combat". We fight with our mind first and formost, reguardless of the tools tools at hand.

 

[bubba in ca]

The coorect answer should include:
1) Center of mass is the correct target because it is BIGGER than other targets and you are less likely to miss.
2) Common handgun bullets have about a 50% one-shot stopping power. Do the math--you need 2 or 3 torso or head shots to stop a motivated attacker.
3) Wounding shots, although well-meaning in their own little way, are of doubtful legality in many places.
4) Most asaults take place at 0 to 20 feet. You don`t have a lot of time to experiment.

Also, familiarize her with the Tueller drill.

 

[X-Rap]

I recomend you check out On Killing by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman as well as Principles of Personal Defense by Col. Cooper.
Grossman explains how repulsed we humans are about killing and gives some insight on how our military raised percentages of individuals who would shoot in battle from a longtime level of 20% in and prior to WWII to the present 95%+ of today.
He also explains some of the pitfalls of that accomplishment.
Coopers book goes into the development of the critical mindset needed to quickly respond to attack. They are both eye opening books and explain much of what you are seeking IMO.

 

[denton]

I really liked SgtRedLeg's comments. To paraphrase one of them, if you're going to a place where you think you might need a gun, don't go there.

For me, it simply boils down to choosing alternate futures.

Sometimes there are no good choices, but there are almost always less bad choices. I can choose to do nothing, and perhaps live with the sorrow of losing someone I should have been able to protect. Or I can choose to be prepared and live with the consequences of that choice.

The most comforting statistic I've found lately is that if you are accosted and display a firearm, 93% of the time your assailant will flee.

 

[Mikhail Weiss]

... If anybody has been through a home invasion situation, please feel free to relate your experience and things you would do differently if you could get a "do-over"...

1. Lock your doors. Even during the day, when you're at home. My home invader came in through an unlocked front door.
2. Recognize, don't rationalize. What I mean, here, is simple: recognize bad situations for what they are. Don't try to rationalize them into something they are not. An uninvited stranger in your home = not good. An uninvited stranger who approaches you when ordered not to = not good. In other words, listen to your gut: if your gut tells you something is wrong, it probably is. Act accordingly.
3. Having a gun is a lot different than having a gun handy. At the time of the invasion, mine was in one room, the ammunition in another, and I was in between. These days, I always have a weapon at hand, usually on me. Lesson: the gun you don't have immediate access to may as well not exist.
4. Act decisively. Be ruthless. I acted decisively, but I was not ruthless. That made the fight longer than it should have been. In short, I beat the guy to the ground, relented for fear of beating him to death, ended up grappling with him, passed up limb-breaking opportunities because they seemed unnecessary, and thus ended up fighting longer than necessary for trying to be nice. Lesson learned: have no regard for the villain, he has none for you. And this: End fights quickly. The longer they last, the greater the chances that you'll get hurt. (Aside from a bruised ankle, I wasn't hurt. No idea how the bruise occurred, but I suspect it occurred during part II of the fight.)

 

[Loosedhorse]

to cultivate the proper mindset

A bit of a creepy phrase, if you mean to convince people who don't want to defend themselves with a firearm that they should. Kind of the reverse side of the coin from trying to convince someone who wants to defend himself that he shouldn't. People need to decide for themselves.

However, I think you mean, if you will, giving people who want to defend themselves "permission" to do so.

First, you could expose that "shoot him in the knee cap" stuff for the dangerous, reckless myth that it is. Second, look to what other writers have already said under the topic of why we carry firearms for SD. Massad Ayoob has some great stuff. John Connor of American Handgunner had a real winner, too. And Rory Miller.

Be ruthless

Ruthless means "without mercy." I would not want to explain to a jury how I acted without mercy. Even though Col. Cooper wrote I should, I will not act ruthlessly.

 

[Mikhail Weiss]

With all kindness and regard, I certainly disagree with the comment about being ruthless.

A fight for your life is no time for half measures. To take the position beforehand that you will not do all that is necessary to save your life during a violent encounter is to subordinate what may well save you (immediate and overwhelming violence) to something that will not (lesser violence).

The proper explanation when confronted with accusations of ruthlessness during a fight for your life is this: I was in fear for my life. I did what was necessary to survive.

Jurors may agree. They may disagree.

But if you don't do what is necessary to survive a violent encounter, you may well not survive it, much less have your actions castigated in court.

 

[Loosedhorse]

dupe