Self Defense Mindset Article

[SabbathWolf]

With all kindness and regard, I certainly disagree with the comment about being ruthless.

A fight for your life is no time for half measures. To take the position beforehand that you will not do all that is necessary to save your life during a violent encounter is to subordinate what may well save you (immediate and overwhelming violence) to something that will not (lesser violence).

The proper explanation when confronted with accusations of ruthlessness during a fight for your life is this: I was in fear for my life. I did what was necessary to survive.

Jurors may agree. They may disagree.

But if you don't do what is necessary to survive a violent encounter, you may well not survive it, much less have your actions castigated in court.

"Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is."

Josey Wales

 

[Loosedhorse]

A fight for your life is no time for half measures

Then say that. Say, as you also did, "act decisively". But "no half-measures" is not what "ruthless" means in the dictionary, so I don't think that's what it means to most potential jurors.

Being ruthless is, when your attacker gives up and asks "Please don't kill me" you shoot him anyway. That's showing him no mercy. By the way, "ruthless" also means "cruel"--maybe after he gives up, knee-cap him just to be "ruthless."

I know that's not what you mean--so why use a word that is so easily misunderstood, to your detriment, by anyone who just looks up its standard definition?

The proper explanation when confronted with accusations of ruthlessness during a fight

I'll have enough to explain if I ever shoot someone in SD, without adding to that why I have decided to label my own actions ruthless.

 

[denton]

I've never had to defend myself against an attacker or a home invader. Still, a couple of opinions if I can...

Since one person is fairly unlikely to experience a home invasion or attack, most people's experience tells them that they will not be a victim. This is the single most grave mindset error you can make.

I'm not saying you live in fear. I am saying that you calmly recognize that there is nothing special about you that exempts you from harm, and plan accordingly. I have a fire extinguisher in my workshop and we have one in our kitchen. Fires are unlikely, but we have prepared. Similarly, a home invasion or burglary is unlikely, but we are prepared for that as well.

We live in a "nice" neighborhood, but we've had a couple of entry attempts that we know of. One night our adult son was visiting, and couldn't sleep. At 3:00 a.m., he was watching TV and someone opened the storm door and tried the front door. A week or so later, someone crossed our front porch and tried the side door to the garage. I'm religious about locking up, and we have high-quality locks, so our first line of defense held. But it's easy to see that the situation could have turned out differently. Fortunately, in our state, if someone breaks into your house you are justified in assuming that he's up to no good.

 

[PoserHoser]

What's strange to me is most people who rely on "layered defense" forget the most important thing: Themselves. What i mean by that is that you can have the best locks, a good guard dog, and multiple firearms but, what happens if you can't reach your gun, they get past the locks, the dog was sick and was at the vet's overnight. This is where hand to hand training becomes the most important factor.

Halfway down the stairs, she realized that she had absolutely no means to fend off the invaders if they got past the door lock (They didn't. The door was very secure by then.).

Right there in the middle of the flight of stairs, she had a change of heart about guns and about defending her family.

If the intruders would have got through that door this would have been a different story. While your all thinking that maybe i'm over paranoid or convinced that anything and everything will go wrong. The fact is a simple move ,such as a kick to the groin, can give you space and time to get to your weapon or a chance to runaway if there is no one left to protect.
If you're still skeptical think about this : would you rather be overprepared or underprepared?

 

[Mikhail Weiss]

"Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you gotta get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean. 'Cause if you lose your head and you give up then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is."

Josey Wales

Apparently I agree with Josey.

 

[Mikhail Weiss]

...why use a word that is so easily misunderstood...

I thought “ruthless” was a clear word, and that reasonable people would draw reasonable conclusions about its use and application.

Maybe that's not so.

But if what's missing is context for, as Rail Driver said, “The largest audience possible,” here it is: be ruthless when fighting for your life. Don't be ruthless when not fighting for your life.

Who decides when one moment supplants the other? You do. May a jury later second-guess your decision? Sure.

 

[Ragnar Danneskjold]

If your buddy thinks he's gonna be able to shoot accurately enough to hit the kneecap in a real combat situation, he's deluding himself.

 

[SabbathWolf]

I thought “ruthless” was a clear word, and that reasonable people would draw reasonable conclusions about its use and application.

Maybe that's not so.

But if what's missing is context for, as Rail Driver said, “The largest audience possible,” here it is: be ruthless when fighting for your life. Don't be ruthless when not fighting for your life.

Who decides when one moment supplants the other? You do. May a jury later second-guess your decision? Sure.

I understood what you meant...and I agree with you.

If you look at other words similar in meaning compared to those that are the oposite....I'm on your side completely when in a fight for your life.
Anybody who disagrees would be better off to just run away...and actually should...before they achieve nothing at all other than becoming DEAD real quick and in a hurry.
If someone is trying to kill me or any of my family members, I'll be choosing from the synonym list.


Synonyms: affectless, callous, case-hardened, cold-blooded, compassionless, desensitized, hard-boiled, hard-hearted, heartless, indurate, inhuman, inhumane, insensate, insensitive, ironhearted, merciless, obdurate, pachydermatous, pitiless, remorseless, hard, slash-and-burn, soulless, stony (also stoney), stonyhearted, take-no-prisoners, thick-skinned, uncharitable, unfeeling, unmerciful, unsparing, unsympathetic

Antonyms: charitable, compassionate, humane, kindhearted, kindly, merciful, sensitive, softhearted, sympathetic, tender, tenderhearted, warm, warmhearted

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ruthless

 

[Loosedhorse]

I thought “ruthless” was a clear word

It is:

ruthless : having no pity : merciless, cruel <a ruthless tyrant>

That is from Merriam Webster. Although I must say I also like, from SabbathWolf

affectless, callous, case-hardened, cold-blooded, compassionless, desensitized, hard-boiled, hard-hearted, heartless, indurate, inhuman, inhumane, insensate, insensitive, ironhearted, merciless, obdurate, pachydermatous, pitiless, remorseless, hard, slash-and-burn, soulless, stony (also stoney), stonyhearted, take-no-prisoners, thick-skinned, uncharitable, unfeeling, unmerciful, unsparing, unsympathetic

Emphasis added, obviouslyly. Maybe especially I'd point to "take no prisoners"--meaning of course that all who yield in battle are killed, anyway.

Hey, Mikhail, enjoy being ruthless, since that's what you have convinced yourself is necessary to survive. Me, I see no advantage to being cruel or inhuman even when fighting for my life; just reasonable, prudent, decisive and indomitable.

Anybody who disagrees would be better off to just run away...and actually should

We are ALL better off tactically to just run away, if we can.

I wasn't born a coward, but I've been working hard at it ever since.

 

[SabbathWolf]

It is:
That is from Merriam Webster. Although I must say I also like, from SabbathWolfEmphasis added, obviouslyly. Maybe especially I'd point to "take no prisoners"--meaning of course that all who yield in battle are killed, anyway.

Hey, Mikhail, enjoy being ruthless, since that's what you have convinced yourself is necessary to survive. Me, I see no advantage to being cruel or inhuman even when fighting for my life; just reasonable, prudent, decisive and indomitable.We are ALL better off tactically to just run away, if we can.

I wasn't born a coward, but I've been working hard at it ever since.

No. No we are "not" ALL better off to just run away.
I cannot even fathom somebody trying to attack my wife or child, and I just look at them and say, "Oh well, sorry, but I'm better off if I run away."

I will be as ruthless as needed also, to bring the situation to an abrupt end as quickly as possible.
There is no time for politics and feel-good sentiments in an event like that.
There is no time to even ponder it at all.

 

[Shadow 7D]

A semantics fight
really

enough of the chicken.. er.. stuff

Ruthless, actually isn't that bad of a description, loosed, that's rather mealy mouthed of you, stop picking the little stuff and stay on topic please
when it's time to kill, it's is best to do so efficiently (look at the antonyms, do you really want to do it that way??)

Something that has been brushed on but necessarily said is the disbelief and denial that prevents action.
Look at videos of attacks, what's the reaction, usually there is NONE, and this is a fatal mistake
read the accounts of confessed killers, hell, read http://www.thehighroad.org/showthread.php?t=655773, or the BTK confession.
Many victims fight back ONLY when they KNOW FOR SURE that they are going to die.
By then it's often too late. How many times in the movie do you think, wait, couldn't she have just ran away and gone to the neighbors and called the cops?, well that happens in real life too.

So, I would put forward that cultivating a mindset that it can happen to you is one of the first steps, and being prepared to react immediately from point zero, condition white to something out of the blue. That's the challenge, and even with a lifetime of training, stuff can still get inside your OODA, and confuse you and lock you into inaction.

 

[Mikhail Weiss]

...Hey, Mikhail, enjoy being ruthless, since that's what you have convinced yourself is necessary to survive. Me, I see no advantage to being cruel or inhuman even when fighting for my life; just reasonable, prudent, decisive and indomitable.

Well, apparently we disagree. That's okay.

But the real question is this:

Has Rail Driver finished writing the article, and where may we read it?

 

[JN01]

She said "If someone broke into my house, I'd take out a knee cap but I wouldn't shoot to kill"

You might tell her that it doesn't matter if she aims for the little toe or the brain stem in one regard- in both instances you are pointing a gun at a human being and pulling the trigger- considered deadly force in the eyes of the law.

If you are justified in using deadly force, and in fact, opt to use it, you might as well apply it in the most effective manner you are capable of.

 

[wheelgunslinger]

Regardless of semantics over word choice and hand wringing over legalese, when you're fighting someone in your own home or space, you're fighting for your life.
There's no occasion for a white flag or begging mercy, tapping out, whatever. It's gonna be quick and brutal from you to them, or vice versa.

Anything else, in my experience, is just too many movies and books floating around in people's heads.

I know this is not something you can tell people. Can't believe I took the time to post it.

 

[denton]

You might tell her that it doesn't matter if she aims for the little toe or the brain stem in one regard- in both instances you are pointing a gun at a human being and pulling the trigger- considered deadly force in the eyes of the law.

If you are justified in using deadly force, and in fact, opt to use it, you might as well apply it in the most effective manner you are capable of.

I wish I had read that a couple of days ago.

We had a married couple at the range on Saturday, and the wife was trying out her new 38 Special. She allowed that if they had an intruder in their home, she would shoot him in the foot. I solemnly advised her that was a very poor choice, and that she should put two in the center of mass. What you've presented here is a very good way of explaining why center of mass is the right choice.

 

[Loosedhorse]

loosed, that's rather mealy mouthed of you, stop picking the little stuff and stay on topic please

I think you're completely wrong. This is not little stuff at all; it is central. And I have been quite clear.

Defensive mindset, to me, has an awful lot to do with how I think of myself. I believe whether I think of myself as "cruel and merciless"--and whether I believe others should think of me in that way--is central to the self-defense mindset.

But hey, as has been pointed out, I don't speak for everyone. However, I don't understand your assertion that I've been "mealy mouthed": I think I have been quite forthright and direct about what I believe, the exact opposite of mealy mouthed.

 

[Rail Driver]

Now fellas, let's play nice.

Each person has a unique point of view from which they perceive the world around them, and also their place in that world. For the way I see my world, a term such as "Ruthless" might be suitable, but a term such as "Cruel" might not. Different terms, while meaning similar things according to the dictionary, can have very different implications based on different context.

When using the term "ruthless" in a self defense context, it implies acting decisively, quickly, and with overwhelming force in order to stop the threat. It means that once you've made the conscious decision to fight, you don't stop, you don't back down, you don't give an inch. You fight with whatever is at hand in order to stop the threat by any means necessary whether it be a firearm, a stick, a knife, a golf club, a pencil, or nothing more than your hands, feet, nails and teeth.

It should be obvious that I believe that the thinking mind of an individual is the true weapon, the body and anything else is just an extension of that allowing us to manifest it in the real world and affect our surroundings. That's why I'm writing this article... Because I believe that training the mind (along with training the body - they often go hand in hand) is much more important than what gun a person chooses, or what caliber they shoot, or even if they use a gun at all.

 

[Loosedhorse]

acting decisively, quickly, and with overwhelming force in order to stop the threat. It means that once you've made the conscious decision to fight, you don't stop, you don't back down, you don't give an inch. You fight with whatever is at hand in order to stop the threat by any means necessary whether it be a firearm, a stick, a knife, a golf club, a pencil, or nothing more than your hands, feet, nails and teeth.

I agree with all of this. What is more important, I actually do think you can teach people this attitude: not all at once, but bit by bit.

What I disagree with is that "ruthless" implies any of that; or that these concepts cannot be taught except when referenced as "ruthlessness."

I also believe that telling people they need to be ruthless in order to defend themselves is more likely to be an obstacle to their developing the ideas quoted above rather than an aid. Many people will object to being told they must act "ruthlessly" in a way they would not if told they must act "decisively and with total effort."

And I'm one of them. A positive connotation is far better than a negative one, and I think that matters a lot. Speaking as a teacher. Your students may be different.

 

[SSN Vet]

In some ways, the term fighting "mindset" almost seems like an oxymoron....

The will to fight, and more importantly, the will to win a fight has a lot more to do with (imho) primal instincts than it does with cognative processes.

That doesn't mean that you turn your mind off. Quite the contrary, you need your mind to evaluate threats, options, etc... And you need you mind to keep some of your instincts in check.

But at some point, engaging in a real fight, in which you might incur serious bodilly harm, is best done with a high level of aggression and ferocity. That is to say, you get nail spittin' mad and turn all that emotional energy into a strong desire to inflict great pain and destruction on someone.

A mother's protective instinct can trigger this.

Strong hatred can trigger it.

Extreme indignation can trigger it.

We spend most of our lives learning to control all this primal stuff, and teaching our kids to control it. So I guess we shouldn't be surprised that it can be stuffed way down there where it is no longer easy for many to access.

Sometimes, when a young person has been strictly taught to surpress all anger and aggression and they then find themselves in a situation that "should" trigger a "fightin' mad" reaction, the emotional conflict inside them is so great that they totally freeze.

 

[denton]

A mother's protective instinct can trigger this.

It was kinda fun to see the attempted home intrusion incident bring out the mother bear in my daughter. Mess with her kids, and she'll put two in your center of mass faster than you can count. The difference is that before the incident, she didn't have the means at hand to do that. Now she does.

Your brain is your most important offensive weapon.

Waging battle as quickly and forcefully as possible is everything. In a fistfight, most attackers will give up after they receive a dozen good blows. If you have landed 12 blows and your attacker has landed 6, the score is 12 to 6 in your favor.

As stated, we've all been taught to fight fair and to not do lasting damage. If you want to win, you have to put that aside. The objective is to neutralize the threat as rapidly as possible. Threats are neutralized by instilling fear and doing damage. Most attackers don't want a fair fight. They want an easy victim.

The other thing to remember is that rapists are like naughty boys. All they need is something to distract them for a moment. Two holes in the center of their chest will normally accomplish this objective.

 

[Rail Driver]

Ok, sorry I disappeared from this thread for a time - Life intrudes sometimes and I've been neglecting a few things.

I plan to work on the outline for the article tomorrow, and should have something posted either tomorrow evening or Wednesday.

There's a lot of great points addressed here. Thanks to everyone that participated.

 

[Buckeyeguy525]

Rail Driver,

I haven't been involved in a home invasion, but I was robbed at gunpoint on the streets a few years ago and it has really shaped my defensive mindset. Home defense/personal defense are my number one priority now.

How my mindset changed: Everyone is now a suspect. If I do not know you, then I consider you a possible threat to me or my family. My fiance and I live together in a pretty bad neighborhood as we are poor college students for another month and have a home defense plan for several scenarios. We have 2 dogs, 1 of which is a German Shepherd and an AMAZING guard dog. They are a major criminal deterrent and I think the main reason we have not had any problems here. They are also a great alarm in the middle of the night. We have decorated our home in such a way that there is no way a burglar would be able to sneak in and make his way through the home without making enough noise to way the shepherd, who in turn will wake me. Next to my bed, I have a 12g shotgun that is the primary defensive weapon, also have a Smith and Wesson m&p40 with a tac light in the bedside nightstand. On my fiance's side, I have a Ruger GP100 357 loaded for her. I wanted something she could just pick up and pull the trigger in case Im not around and not have to worry about clearing jams or cocking a firearm. In the event of someone breaking in, plan A is for both of us to get behind the bed with the dogs and the 12g pointed at the door while she calls 911, this is if we get an early warning. If they make it to the bedroom door (locked at all times) the dog will bark as soon as the handle is touched, in this case I grab the pistol and begin firing as soon as they make it through the door. At the same time our dogs will also be attacking them.

My fiance and I know this drill, we each know our roles. Prior to my being mugged, I didnt even own a firearm as I saw them as a toy and not a necessary tool. I now know that to be wrong. I also learned that all the firearms in the world are useless if you do not put yourself into a position to effectively use them. Thats where the mindset and preparation come in

 

[BSA1]

Deleted

 

[Loosedhorse]

We are ALL better off tactically to just run away, if we can

No. No we are "not" ALL better off to just run away.
I cannot even fathom somebody trying to attack my wife or child, and I just look at them and say, "Oh well, sorry, but I'm better off if I run away."

I missed this from a while back.

SW, I'm not sure why you found this hard to understand. I said we're better off tactically to run away, if we can. Why you would suppose I meant run away leaving loved ones behind rather than run away covering my loved ones retreat, well, who can say?

If my family and I can't run away, then we can't.

Looking forward to the article, Rail Driver.

 

[Carl N. Brown]

OP:

"If someone broke into my house, I'd take out a knee cap but I wouldn't shoot to kill".

At 25 yards, standard NRA bullseye target, I have shot scores as high as 95 of 100 (best) in slowfire (ten shots). In timed fire, mild stress level I have done as bad as 35-40 (for ten shots). In the old black powder cartridge matches, with the 25 yard target turned toward the shooter for two seconds, three times, for six shots, sometimes a score of 15 of 60 felt lucky. Some competitors used their two seconds for one shot at each target and got higher three shot scores than those who got all six off in the time limit.

In a situation of fear of imminent death or greivous bodily harm, I would plan on shooting center-of-mass (COM) and maybe hitting a kneecap. Aiming for kneecaps would be a severe risk of collateral damage on innocent bystanders. Anyone talking about precision shooting under stress in a life-or-death situation ("shoot the gun or knife out of their hand") either has nerves of steel or bowels of BS.