Felt recoil is dependent on gun fit to shooter, correct basic fundamentals, hearing protection, and quality repetition of correct basics.
2 3/4 " shells are all anyone needs for 99% of all shooting tasks in 12, and 20 bore.
Goose, and Duck hunters in certain areas do need more payload. 10 gauge is actually a better patterning performer with shorter shot strings than a 12 ga with a 3 1/2" payload.
Basically trying to cram a 10 ga into a 12 ga.
Marketing hype by gun and ammo mfgs keep the "bigger is better" myth alive.
Hell we felled limits of ducks with .410 and 28 gauge guns.
28 ga will still do so, if legal in your area use Bismuth, so the lying Migratory Folks don't get their panties in a wad and write one a ticket.
Non-toxic mandate my a..
The real problem today is, folks are not growing up around guns and shooting.
These folks so want to be matriculated into the shooting community, they fall prey to marketing hype.
Internet allows for faster communication amongst a larger audience.
Basically BS travels further, faster and to more folks.
Old ways are still the best ways often times - meaning one still is best to go out and actually get quality instruction and shoot the damn gun.
There are ShotGunners.
And
There are those that have a shotgun,
Big friggin' difference!
Applicable to any and all firearms, be it handgun, rifle or shotgun.