Hi Flightgirl, welcome to THR.
I'm female, 5'4 & curvy, and have carried a G26 for about 5 1/2 years. I've also seen a lot of other women learning to shoot and watched them as they chose to carry (or not carry...) various guns.
In my experience, the most common cause of failure to carry a gun is simply choosing a carry gun that is too big. For that reason, if you really and truly can't decide between the two after handling them both, I'd recommend choosing the smaller gun.
In going with the G26, you won't be giving up any inherent accuracy because the G26 is scary accurate. But in order to shoot it well, you do have to make sure that it feels right in your hand, and no one else can decide that for you. A lot of people have strong opinions against the smaller Glocks simply because they don't like the way the little gun feels in their hands -- but their hands aren't yours and yours are the ones that matter here.
I've never noticed any big difference in the recoil between the G19 and the G26, but again, your mileage may vary and it's your opinion that matters. Umm, by the way, it's not just a matter of whether a new shooter is "afraid" of recoil. New shooters should avoid heavy recoil because if you learn to shoot with a gun that has a lot of recoil you will have to work a lot harder to avoid developing a flinch. You can do it, but it just makes it harder to learn. That said, the 9mm round is very mild as far as defense calibers go, and I know (because I did it myself!) that it's quite possible to learn to shoot with a G26.
If after handling them both you decide you like the feel of the G19 better, there's no real reason not to go with it. G19s handle well and shoot well. They aren't as easy to conceal as the smaller guns so you'll have to change your wardrobe even more than you otherwise would, but if you're willing to do that there's no reason you couldn't carry the larger gun.
Hope this helped.
pax