A thought here, from a small woman: Though my hands are strong for their size and I can rack just about anything even the ones that are so big I can't lock the slide back, I have noticed that the slides are stiffer to work and the controls harder to cope with on the small guns than on some of the larger ones. In particular, the guns that I find easiest to work with are the Beretta 92 and its Taurus clone the PT-92. The slides are easy to get ahold of and pull back. Additionally, the narrow neck at the top of the chunky, double-stack grip makes it possible for short fingers to reach the trigger comfortably. So, counter-intuitive as it is, going bigger rather than smaller may solve the problem since it a home gun rather than a carry gun size isn't really relevant. As for revolvers, I suggest getting a steel one rather than an Airweight or Ultralite. Lightweight snubbies HURT to fire -- like slamming your hand down on a table as hard as you can. Even the retired military guys from Ft. Bragg are willing to admit that so its really sort of ridiculous how often women who are shooting for the first time are told to get lightweight snubbies.