Hi Fatboy,
Yep, in a lightweight J-frame the +P ammo is gonna hurt. You can lessen this fact with a high grip on the little gun and a real firm grip with the strong hand and a firm grip pushing towards you with your support hand.
This will direct the recoil straight down your arm and body so your wrist and hands don't get hammered.
THE PERFECT GUN?
There is no perfect gun for everything . . . that's why we end up with many through the years.
GRIPS CAN HELP, BUT . . .
The Goodyear rubbers out there lessen the felt recoil, but don't allow the little snubbies to be as thin and concealable. So, my Uncle Mikes stay at home and I use the factory wood grips.
WHY?
Just like when deer hunting, you will NOT feel the recoil under the stress and excitement of using your little J frame for self defense!
My steel framed Model 36 is more fun to shoot than my same-sized Model 37 lightweight. Thus, I practice with the 36 and save the 37 for deep carry and self defense when the 36 would show in the pocket.
Try a steel j-framed Smith next time you go to the range, its always the best choice for a 1st time J frame purchaser. It is more durable, more fun to shoot, and it is still pretty darn easy to tote and conceal!
T.