So, Anybody Else Roll Out of Bed Today?

[sm]

Listen, you hear that? Yes it is Quiet...finally.

Gee whiz, I live on the top floor of a complex, we are having a new roof put on. Yesterday they removed the old one, I mean removed the whole thing. "Noisy" was re defined for me...I thought.

I am single, I don't own jammies and sleep, well , lets just say I ain't dressed -period. Now the roofers "said" they would start at 0800. I had a chance to sleep in.

0700 I hear the ra ta tat, I mean I didn't know nail guns were available in full auto. Or I need to find this guy and introduce him to IPSC It sounds as if my front door is gonna cave in, my bed is shaking, heck the whole place is shaking. I must have a small army above me.

I go from sound asleep to 'orange' roll out, take cover and my 1911 is in hand. I hear it again ra ta tat, in full auto again. I gotta find this guy for sure.

I realize I'm not being broken into. I'm not being trashed by a storm, and the Hottentots aren't after me. I stumble into kitchen,place the 1911 and spare mag on counter,make coffee and while waiting have a smoke.

Anyone else roll out of late ? Got your plan in order? Gone from asleep to orange in milli-secs? Know the feeling like when the racoons get into the trash?

This racket continued all day...at least with a BG ,racket would have ended quickly.

 

[WonderNine]

strange.....very strange........

 

[TarpleyG]

Yeah, I had a "sleep-to-orange" moment a couple of months ago. Wife and I had just moved into new-to-us (30 years old) house. A/C went out after a week. Late July in S. Florida. You can use your imagination. We were on night two w/o A/C and had every fan we have on high. That just does wonders for listening for little noises. Anywho, at about o'dark thirty--whackity, whackity, whackity, thump, bang, crash.

Now, I am a big guy. Close to 290#. I was up and on my feet in about a nanosecond. Wife not far behind. Looking for a light, any light (I am in a new place, asleep, remember) and finally find the lamp switch.

Turns out we weren't being invaded. Ceiling fan purchased in 1982 decided it was tired and summarily dumped a blade on us.

Well anyway, that fan got replaced that night.

GT

 

[sm]

TarpleyG
Yeah that's the feeling allright.
We get a coupon for a free box of ammo when we go through this...right?
We should IMO

 

[Dorian]

I do love the way you described your situation.

And I personally have gone over what I'd do if someone kicked the door in here. And I practice it when noone else is looking

 

[grampster]

'73,

You got roofers to show up? O my gaw......roofers?.... roofers that show up?.....roofers that show up and actually do something?.......Here in the great state of Meeechigan this is what your hear from roofers...."It is too cold, It is too hot, It is too clear, It is too rainy, It is too cloudy, It is too light, It is too dark, It is too snowy, It ain't snowy enough"......you got roofers to show up and you go to ONLY condition orange?..........If you were here and roofers showed up you would go to condition red!

 

[Maddock]

About eight years ago I was living in an apartment that had a wall mounted A/C unit. My head when sleeping was about six feet from the unit. About 3:00 A.M. one morning I wake up to the most chilling scream. It sounded like a woman was getting dismembered outside my window. I was out of bed with revolver and flashlight in seconds and opening the door.

Surprised the heck out of the two cats having a romantic interlude under the A/C. The male gave me a look that should have raised blisters.

 

[jsalcedo]

I walked into my house after running errands one afternoon and heard
BOOM BOOM CRASH THUMP over and over coming from the upstairs.

I grabbed my 1911 from IWB and proceeded slowly up the stairs toward the deafening racket.

I turned the corner and found the sound coming from my son's room.

Since I had made him stay in the front yard for safety I knew that whoever was in there was trashing the room.

Kicking the door and busting the knob and door jam I rushed the room
leading with my .45 only to find a large mylar mickey mouse balloon trapped in the ceiling fan. It was flailing wildly and bumping around making a terrible racket.

Too much adrenaline for me that day

 

[El Tejon]

Had a new roof on the Fashionable Bachelor Pad put on last fall. It looked like that scene in "The Money Pit" with Tom Hanks. Of course, I was always gone before the guys got there (El Tejon never sleeps, El Tejon always shakes).

Going from Clear to Orange is never fun. Had to do it a couple of time to date. At least your hearing improves to a degree that you can hear the sweat roll down the back of your neck.

 

[Tamara]

I woke up this morning with my cat licking my nose. I think it put me in Condition Paisley, or something...

 

[sm]

grampster, yeah they showed up...and early! Surprised me too.

I thought I had it bad. I have a neighbor whom is 8 mos pregnant. Her Husband had already left earlier before the rukus started. In her condiition she is sleeping in the Lazy Boy. She thought... Whoa! Contractions! Gathered her wits... she couldn't get up! She had her revolver at the ready, but no way could she go anywhere. She will be so happy when they get to move into a house in about 2 wks. She also mentioned being pregnant , and carrying concealed...ain't no good way. someone needs to make maternity holsters...

I can relate to cats, squealing A/C units, but mylar balloon I've not experienced ...yet!

 

[sm]

Tamara,
I'll admit I'm not a cat person, but I'll will concede cat owners do have some advantages.

I had a black lab once about 85#, have that jump onto you ...and I don't know what in slobber ...and that breath...yeah, cat owners have an advantage for sure.

condition: yuck...whew I guess

 

[Jim March]

One week several years ago when I was living in a large motorhome, we had a cold snap come through. Temps around freezing, which is unusual for the San Francisco California area.

Well, the two ferrets were doing OK with it. As usual, they slept with me and would still get up to use the litterbox, eat, drink, then come back to bed to keep warm. Ferrets really understand the concept of "blankets". I used a large-size mummy sleeping bag as a top blanket; the last foot or so is tubular even when it's unzipped, and the end would hang over the end of the bed. The ferts would get under the covers, slide past my feet and curl up together in the "hammock pocket" thus formed...so the whole night, I'd have about 3.5 pounds worth of skinnykitty dragging my covers off but I was used to it and kept a tight grip all night. No problem.

The problem involved the nightly 2:00am wrestling match.

It was too cold to stage it out on the living room floor, so they tried to stage WW3 right behind my knees.



Picture Jim holding up these two weasels, going "now guys, for God's sake, I gotta sleep!" while they looked kinda sheepish...

Sigh.

God I miss 'em.

 

[hops]

Could be worse. You could have a house behind you that has about 8 foster kids in it. They just toss their toys in my yard and other acts of annoyance. I guess that's better than the cigarette butts from the last batch of foster kids of 5 years ago.

All that firepower and I have to let them live.

 

[Camel]

I had an interesting morning not too long ago. Woke up at the normal hour, all is well, but I cant move my legs. My first thought was not fit for The High Road, the second one was "Am I paralyzed?", then I realized my dog had been sleeping on my legs the whole night and they were both completely numb. Stupid dog.

 

[45King]

Tamara wrote:

I woke up this morning with my cat licking my nose. I think it put me in Condition Paisley, or something...

I had a kitty who just loved to sleep on my chest. I'd wake up at 5:00 AM with her nose about 3 inches from mine. She was a Siamese/Persian/tabby mix, and had slightly crossed eyes. Now THAT was a sight to behold at such close range! It usually put me into condition S & L (smile and laugh.)

 

[Billy Sparks]

About 3 years ago my wife and I had our house broken into twice. After the second time we installed an alarm system. Every night before we went to bed we shooed the cats downstairs and set the alarm, bypassing the motion detectors (we only had one bathroom). Anyway about oh dark thirty the alams starts a whopping screaming sound. All 280 lbs of me first levitated 4 inches off of the bed. I tried to reset the rescue squad pager twice before I realized that that wasn't the source of this God awful noise. I then retrieve the my Sig and Surefire and slam the bedroom door. In a qwest for information I try to look at the alarm panel to figure out where the goblin is coming from. Note to all when your eyes are not light adjusted flipping on the Surefire light 4 inches away from the white alarm panel on the white wall is not smart. Anyway I finally open the door to see a shaded silver Persian cat standing in the wall. Seems we hadn't closed the door enough and the cat had gotten the door open setting off the alarm. Took me two hours to calm down enough to go back to sleep...

 

[TallPine]

Turns out we weren't being invaded. Ceiling fan purchased in 1982 decided it was tired and summarily dumped a blade on us.

only to find a large mylar mickey mouse balloon trapped in the ceiling fan. It was flailing wildly and bumping around making a terrible racket.

These fan stories are cracking me up ...

So ... what gun do you grab when the balloon hits the fan?

 

[sm]

Tallpine,
You do bring up a good point. We have had numerous threads here and on TFL when "other stuff" hits the fan...don't recall mylar balloons though...

What , the rest of you members, have never gone from sleep to orange in your B-day suit?
Methinks your holding back.
At least tell us if your plan of action - worked - or you had to alter it afterwards.

 

[Gus Dddysgrl]

Nope. Can't recall anytime I've gone from sleeping to Orange(and definitely not in my b-day suit). Except maybe when I was late for class, but still my alarm is early enough that I'm not late. (and still not in my b-day suit)

The only time my senses are on alert when I'm sleeping is if it's late and I'm babysitting. Then I put the kids in bed, lay on the couch with the TV down low, and close my eyes. If I hear a noise it's usually nothing to worry about, but if something were to happen then I'd go into condition orange.

Gus

 

[Brian Williams]

yeah when the cross the street neighbor desides to shoot at his girlfriend with his 12 gauge at 2:00am. I heard the yelling and screamin, then a door slam and a taxi screech to a stop, a woman runs out and jumps into taxi as drugged neighbor runs onto porch, raises shotgun and sends 3 rounds out towards the street.

911 time again

Long story short, SWAT pulls the guy out later early AM and finds his shotgun on the roof....


Not fun...

 

[444]

"Anyone else roll out of late ? Got your plan in order? Gone from asleep to orange in milli-secs?"

Yeah, several times a night. That is one of the little known fringe benefits of working as a firefighter. Dead asleep, lights come on/alarm goes off/printer starts chugging away all at the same time. Get up, get dressed, grab print-out, find location on map, get in and drive away in two minutes.
When I was an actual firefighter sitting in the back, all I had to do was get up, jump into my bunkers and airpack and not get left behind because they will leave without you and you WILL get a write-up in your file for the first offense. Really a bad feeling to be running as fast as you can in those heavy boots down the street as the engine pulls away. Your fine motor skills and clear thinking go out the window when the alarm is saying, "We are receiving multiple calls reporting victims trapped". Seen more than one garage door pulled out by the roots because it didn't have time to open all the way.

Of course getting woken up is better than the same senario when you are in the bathroom

 

[Billy Sparks]

At least tell us if your plan of action - worked - or you had to alter it afterwards.

Actually every thing went pretty well execpt when I decided to look at the alarm panel with my Surefire. Bright Light, Bright Light.

The only other thing is right after I woke up I couldn't figure out when the dispatcher wasn't giving out a address. Then I figured out that it wasn't the squad pager and was the alarm system.

 

[willyjixx]

we have dogs an they stay with us. one of em likes to sneak into bed in middle of the night.

one night Sneaky starts growling really low an mean an it waked me up. hes hunkered at the end of the bed with the hackles up growlin. i grabbed a 12g an a flashlight an got to the door. as soon as i open it an shine the flashlight down the hall is see my 2 year old has gotten out of bed. opened his door, and decided to start playing with his toys in the hall.

Good Dog

Bad Kid.


Shaky Dad

 

[bogie]

Gotchall beat.

I was in bed.

So was a girlfriend.

We were having a grand old time.

Heard a crash/bang coming from the second bedroom, also known as the pit, the black hole, etc... I've got a bad habit of standing at the door and tossing stuff...

Anywho, back to the situation at hand... Crash/bang! I levitated out of battery, hit the floor, reached in the closet, grabbed the AR (it was its week...), hit the bolt carrier release, and rapidly somewhat low-crawled out the bedroom door and into the junk room.

Turned out I had stacked a storage box off center, and one below it had decided to buckle.

Dang, but that was painful.

Girlfriend TOTALLY freaked out - not really all that much into guns to start with, then suddenly there's an AR produced...