Buzz Knox,
You said: "As for 9mm and .45, neither has real stopping power."
I think a lot of dead people's families would disagree, as would the dead if they weren't dead. I guess we must assume you don't own any handguns at all, or if you do you must certainly believe in a mythical type of stopping power.
Personally, I believe handguns really stop people. I love when all these handgun bashers want us to run out and buy rifles for home protection (and I have a sneaking suspicion that these bashers are, themselves, handgun owners). Am I supposed to bust out my AK-47 and pray none of my neighbors two blocks away catch an errant bullet. Pistol bullets already overpenetrate as it is. And as for shotguns, the guy already has one and was asking us about pistols.
Norinco, the 9mm and .45 are both excellent at really stopping people. In fact, most times a gun is used in self-defense, the trigger is never even pulled. When it is, rest assured that a well placed bullet in either caliber will do its job--and then some. A local case just last week involved a nut that broke into a couple's apartment and after a lot of belligerent speech, began fondling the man's wife. He shot the man with a 9mm and the round went through his torso and the wall. The guy also lived to run away (but not very far). That has more to do with shot placement than anything else. If it was a .45 it is in no way guaranteed the guy would've hit the ground dead. In all likelihood, the same would have resulted. At least the bullet penetrated what it hit. It's the shooter's job to hit the right thing.
A lot of times people like to make it sound like shooting someone with a .45 is like implanting a small monster from "Aliens" that will wreak wild havoc and completely destroy the inside of the bad guy. It's just a piece of lead of a certain diameter. compare that diameter to a 9mm and then to a human body. It's easy to see both calibers are very tiny in comparison to their targets. But no sane person wants to get shot by either one.
Just to disclaim, I own a 9mm. But I want to get a .45 with my next purchase. And I'll still keep the 9. That's because I think all guns are fun. And a 9mm, .40, or .45 are all extremely formidable calibers that can easily end any bad guy's life, when aimed well. And a lot of times, even when not. I would feel just as confident with any of those calibers.
Some of the nicer things about the 9mm. Most regular 9s hold 15 to 19 rounds in the mag without a correspondingly thick grip. Also, Norinco, you bought a Norinco, which makes me believe your interested in saving a buck or two. Well 9mm target ammo is just about the cheapest you can buy this side of .22s.
I would recommend JHP 147 gr for self defense in the 9mm. In any caliber, the heavier bullets (while slower and with less sexy muzzle energy numbers) consistently have better penetration than lighter and faster bullets (within that caliber).