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The Mall Ninja

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Freedom in theSkies, Oct 20, 2006.

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  1. Freedom in theSkies

    Freedom in theSkies Member

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    Helping to stop Terrorism...One day at a time...
    Remember back a few years ago on TFL when the Mall Ninja was yapping about wearing trauma plates to work at the local mall where he was the "ultimate Security Guard", and all that other Cr@p...
    That was fun...
    I used to sign on every chance I got, just to see how everyone would bait him into making more stoopid comments.
    ~ Them were the days...:rolleyes:
     
  2. Fn-P9

    Fn-P9 Member

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  3. OldBillThundercheif

    OldBillThundercheif Member

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    Yeah, that guy thought he might have to fight a sniper so he wanted armor that would protect him from multiple rounds of .308.

    What was he? A "Team Leader for a mobile quick-reaction force at one of America's premier indoor shopping facilities" or something like that?

    Funny stuff.

    Ninja boots used to climb walls are essential for mall security:D

    Tactical golf-cart. Enough said...
     
  4. jak

    jak Member

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    Lmao was the guy serious, or just a goof? 'Cause I could see doing that for laughs. If he was serious, though... :scrutiny:

    Anyone save the threads from him? I need a good laugh.

    Hehe, twin M2's mounted on an all-black stealth golf cart, with reactive armor and optional tactical nuke package:evil: That'd be a fun day at work...
     
  5. Travis Lee

    Travis Lee Member

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    All your Malls are belong to us.

    :cool:

    --Travis--
     
  6. db_tanker

    db_tanker Member

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    LMAO


    What is sad is that its not just Malls...up here at Baker we have one guy who tries his butt off to look and act like an LEO, but I talked to some actual deputy's we have up here on contract and they told me he couldn't pass the entrance exam for HPD or Harris Co. SD. Everyone tries to ignore him. :) lol

    D
     
  7. Finch

    Finch Member

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    You can find archived transcripts of that guys exploits. I think his name was Gecko45 or something to that nature. After reading them, I came to the conclusion that it was all just a well thoughout joke. I know there are some weird people out there, but this guy was pretty extreme. He put on a good show.

    After a little searching, I found it. If you are unfamiliar with the infamous Mall Ninja, here ya go - http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
     
  8. DRMMR02

    DRMMR02 member

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    I have come to the conclusion that whatever anyone tells you about what they did in Special Forces, it isnt true. If they're a mall ninja, who is making up a bunch of wild stories, they are all false. And if the guy really is in Special Forces, he will probably say something like "Oh I was just in the area helping out with a bit of training. No big deal", and subtely change the subject, if he says anything at all. He's not just gonna come out and tell you the details of all his operations. A: it's probably illegal. and B: the vast majority of guys who make it that far into the military and special groups tend to have a lot ot tact, civility, and humbleness. Bragging about "dark ops" is just doesn't fit.
     
  9. ilbob

    ilbob Member

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    I found the thread to be extremely funny and well written. Whoever wrote it might just have a career as a writer.

    He may also be a security guard, as there were some things that made me think he may have some mall security experience, and mostly he was spoofing himself and fellow guards.
     
  10. tuna

    tuna member

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    DRMMR02, you mean all the SPECOPS guys I meet at the range really weren't in SPECOPS? My dreams have been shattered!
     
  11. TexasRifleman

    TexasRifleman Moderator Emeritus

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    I miss Mall Ninja.

    There was one over at arfcom calling himself Target Security that was pretty funny as well.

    Both these guys were great story tellers.

    And of course they were not being serious.

    That was the best part of the joke, watching some people argue with the guy like he was actually serious.
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2006
  12. ilbob

    ilbob Member

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    I used to shoot pretty regularly with a guy that was SF. I did not learn he was SF until several years after I met him. He is pretty ordinary. Was in the SF for some time until he went into a reserve SF unit. Worked at a car plant assembling cars.

    Nice guy, polite, quiet, a little reserved.

    He used to get called up for reserve duty a lot because they were short of radio operators. Never heard him complain about it.

    Had an interesting hobby (besides firearms). Collected old spy radios. You know the key operated things they used to drop into France in WWII. He and some buddies used to send code on them. he could really tickle that Morse key. I asked him once and he told me he could send 40 words a minutes. I later found out he could do it sending code groups and not just words, which is substantially harder.
     
  13. hankdatank1362

    hankdatank1362 Member

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    Remember the list of weapons he would request to maintain mall security?

    It was like 20 items long, and ended with Kahr P9s as "holdout guns."
     
  14. RNB65

    RNB65 Member

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    I believe that ol' Mall Ninja was eventually outed as being a prank.

    But it was darn funny! The guy was worried about being shot in the back by a .308 while working as mall security. :)
     
  15. Lonestar

    Lonestar Member

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    The funny thing is my friends and I describe anyone who is over the top tactical as a Mall Ninja. In a few years it will be a regular saying and would be listed in a dictionary. All from some wacko on the net.

    I use to have a link to the original threads he created. If the guy was just messing around, he should get into comedy. If he was serious, god help us all.
     
  16. default

    default Member

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    What was really funny about that was how he planned on upgrading his Smith and Mossberg duty weapons with HK PDWs and G36s. Yeah, that would be a step up. :scrutiny:

    I'm inclined to think it was a deliberate prank (as opposed to a clueless poser), and as they go a pretty good one. Ceramic plates to counter .338 Lapua hits in the back...multiple state-of-the-art submachineguns and assault rifles...his girlfriend/co-worker assembling the single-shot .300WinMag while he provides covering fire with a G23 converted to .357Sig...and finally the fact that he acknowledges that it's not the Mall of America, but isn't some podunk mall either. :D
     
  17. Lonestar

    Lonestar Member

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    HHHaaa...I found the "The Shrine of the Mall Ninja" This all happened on Glocktalk not THR, that is why I knew about it. I only been here for a few months. Funny thing is all this funny stuff happen in the summer right before 9/11

    http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/
     
  18. FourTeeFive

    FourTeeFive Member

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    In a similar vein, anyone ever notice the wannabee Seal team guys? Saw one driving around the other day in this BTS Ford Escort with a "Seal Team Member" bumper sticker. Yah, right buddy.
     
  19. Lonestar

    Lonestar Member

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    Not 20 items, but still one crazy assortment for a Mall security detail.

    Tank I can't believe you remembered the Kahr holdout line....Classic
     
  20. Rumble

    Rumble Member

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    FourTeeFive, my brother once opined that if he had to pick his ideal job title, it would be "Ex-Navy SEAL."

    His reasoning was that if you start out as an "Ex-Navy SEAL," then you can skip all that inconvenient training and putting your life on the line, and really focus on the critical art of picking SpecOps T-shirts that don't cover your gut, and finding the perfect food-stain to put on your BDU pants. :D



    DISCLAIMER: Neither my brother nor I have served in the military at all, and of course we'd never try to pull a wannabe-act and actually claim to be former soldiers. Soldiers do a job I'm not even sure I could do, and have my utmost respect.
     
  21. Autolycus

    Autolycus Member

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    Last edited: Oct 20, 2006
  22. Autolycus

    Autolycus Member

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    There is one guy with the license plate NVYSEAL. He is a former SEAL and a nice guy who actually served as a SEAL.
     
  23. imprezagm4

    imprezagm4 Member

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    Wow that was a great read! Still chuckling, I will have to share this and spread the legacy of The Mall Ninja
     
  24. Autolycus

    Autolycus Member

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    He has a myspace website!!!

    I got him on my friends list. Its to funny. I will post the sequal to this.
     
  25. Autolycus

    Autolycus Member

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    Here is a link to his blog...

    http://blog.myspace.com/everymanafreeman


    I cant stop laughing whenver I read it.
     
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