Think I just frightened somebody by being vigilant....

[newbie4help]

Sorry, yet ANOTHER S&T from me. I didn't realize how big an undertaking concealed carry would be...

So since I started carrying about a month ago, I've been intentionally much more...aware of my surroundings. Especially after having been robbed last year, I'm very conscious of cars pulling up suddenly and usually try to assess the situation quickly.

As I was leaving my apartment a sedan pulled up with 2 males in it. I didn't recognize them but wasn't totally paranoid, just trying to assess the situation. I was standing at the back of my car; since it was parked backed against a concrete barrier I had to walk in front of it to put my stuff in the passenger seat. As the guys pulled in I just stood there watching them. I noticed the passenger look at me and there was something weird about him, it didn't frighten me but I had the impression he was frightened of me! I kind of brushed this off, and they passed me, so I went around, put my stuff in. Then they started backing into the space next to my car, next to my driver's seat.

At this point I was at the front of my car so I just stood there waiting for them, but as they did I made eye contact with the passenger and he had this look of abject fear in his face. I don't know if I imagined it but that's how I perceived it. I quickly got in and drove away, and in my mirror I had the impression he was looking at me. This was the passenger - the driver seemed normal.

Is it possible to "size a situation" up too much? Or should you be very subtle about it? I felt really dumb in hindsight about how I must've looked - just standing there obviously looking at them... My movements were not very natural I guess - somebody normally would just put their stuff in and go without hesitation. I want to avoid this if possible/advisable in the future!

 

[WardenWolf]

He was probably tweaking on something. That would explain the paranoia: the effects of drugs coupled with the fear of possibly being arrested.

 

[SIRVEYR666]

Is it possible to "size a situation" up too much?

Yes.

I didn't realize how big an undertaking concealed carry would be...

It is a great responsibility, but some around here seem to think that it comes with a cape and a utility belt.

Relax a little bit, dude. Just because we choose to carry a firearm as one method of personal protection, doesn't mean that we need to run our OODA loops 24/7.

 

[B yond]

Is it possible to "size a situation" up too much?

Not if you do it right.

should you be very subtle about it?

Yes.

He was probably tweaking on something.

That's a heck of an assumption. He was probably just "sizing the situation" since someone was blatantly watching him!

Relax a little bit, dude. Just because we choose to carry a firearm as one method of personal protection, doesn't mean that we need to run our OODA loops 24/7.

That's great advice.

Too many CCWers act like carrying a concealed weapon makes them more of a target. If it's truly concealed, then you're no more of a target now than you were before you started carrying.

You should've always been aware of your surroundings even before you started packing. This shouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for you. This is the 'software' part of 'software before hardware.'

Just consider this a learning experience and make sure you learned from it.

 

[Hungry Seagull]

I used to walk a shepard from time to time. Everyone would freeze like 20 yards away and ask "Is that a gaurd dog?"

No.

"can we pet it?" Shepard is sniffing air towards them wagging tail.

They approach so cautiously... it's funny.

Out walking the doggie. Just dont break into the house late at night....

 

[Kind of Blued]

It depends on where your priorities lie I guess.

Option 1) You can act as you did, appear to be a very "hard target" to criminals, and you'll probably never be victimized. You'll also creep people out, seem socially-retarded, and not enjoy much smalltalk with fellow human beings.

Option 2) is to be a bit more casual, spend less time on edge, and slightly increase your chances of a criminal picking you out as a target.

The increase in blood pressure from option one every day may kill you before the criminal in option two does.

 

[drjoker]

just smile....

Yes,

I live in condition yellow, too. But, I don't creep people out like you do. You were staring at him and that made him nervous. He was staring at you and making you nervous. You were probably BOTH "sizing" each other up.

I'd do the same thing you're doing, but I'd smile at him and say, "Howdy, pardner." If he were suspicious, I'd point my gun at him inside a paper bag (my favorite, the paper bag holster) and smile at him. He wouldn't know that I'm carrying a gun inside the paper bag. Or, I'd point the gun at him from inside jacket pocket, smile and say, "Howdy, pardner."

If it were a homeless man, I always keep a spare dollar in a shirt pocket, pull out the dollar and fold it lengthwise so that I can hand it to him at arm's length. That will allow me to do a good deed and prevent him from walking closer to me and put me in a bad tactical disadvantage. If I can give him what he wants at a comfortable distance, then he would have no reason to get closer.

You can "size" people up all you want, but you won't creep anyone out by smiling and saying, "Howdy, pardner."

 

[BBQLS1]

so I just stood there waiting for them

If I stood there staring at you how would you feel? Keep an eye on people, but don't make it ridiculously obvious. Making eye contact is fine, but staring down someone is a little much.

 

[newbie4help]

Maybe I should clarify.

I didn't stand there waiting for them as part of "staring them down" or anything. I had to wait there because they were in the very narrow parking lot and I didn't want to get run over!

 

[James T Thomas]

thanks for the post

I do not think you were wrong, or agressive, in your behavior; from your description.

When you took an observant stance, your description conveys that you were not challenging them. You had not dared them to go ahead and make your day. As I read it, you had taken a defensive, and {some one mentioned OODA; a step ahead of your potential adversaries} -dynamic step for what ever would occur next. The martial arts trained posters here would tell you how just having a "confident" demeanor will preclude being a victim.

I would only add that it seems; just seems, from the description that you were conscious of your capability to have a lethal confrontation and were perhaps overconfident, slightly. Shouldn't you have went to the side hood of your car for cover? In the event of shooting.

Now that you have had this positive reinforcement that you can, because you are an armed citizen, and adequately protect your self, you should "move on with your life." That is, do not gloat over your sucess.

Remember the posts here on THR.

One is that "You are NOT a criminal, so stop acting like it."
And the other is that concluding a possible assault without having to resort to shooting or even producing your weapon is a far superior happening.

You now have permission to go on about your life, forget that you are a
"Have Gun Will Travel," and engage in the enjoyment of your ever day activities while having the battle to maintain a state of awareness without devolving into anxiety.

Well done.

 

[daveit]

Some people get crazy when you stare at them... especially "gangstas" who have something to prove to their homies. Be aware but kinda be covert about it.

I had a pickpocket cut in front of my on an elevator in Rome once...there was a blissfully unaware Japanese family in front of him. He was looking at their bags looking for something to grab and I tapped him on the shoulder and shook my head no at him. He smiled and acted like he wasn't doing anything. When we hit the top I saw him head back down...hang out and head up behind another family. Not too much I could do...in a foreign country, unarmed & knowing those thieves run in packs so I left.

 

[Gamera]

My natural "default" expression is somewhat of a serious look, almost a scowl. I also walk with my head up and I'm not afraid to look people in the eyes, so sometimes I have to consciously try to not creep people out.
But again, we're not criminals, so we shouldn't worry about it

 

[Eyesac]

My natural "default" expression is somewhat of a serious look, almost a scowl.

Sometimes I catch myself in a reflection and man, I look like a real D**K...

I'll be honest, I'm ok weirding out a couple of people if they're weirding me out. Mutually assured weirdness...

 

[Marcus5aurelius]

That's not really a story as much as someone who passed by you.

 

[oldFred]

ALWAYS AVOID CONFRONTATIONS if you can. Just remember, your CCW-FL is NOT a reason to size everyone up who comes close to you...

Your weapon is a LAST RESORT option. Man up, and don't be shy

 

[30mag]

Maybe he thought you were planning something..?

 

[rainbowbob]

Is it possible to "size a situation" up too much? Or should you be very subtle about it?

I would say: Yes...and yes.

A friend told me today about a shooting near here this week that involved an innocent basketball player as the victim. The shooter said that the victim was "mean-mugging" him.

In other words...the victim LOOKED at him! This is a new one on me. I'd finally got to the point in my life where I'd resolved to refrain from commenting on other people's bad public behavior.

Now I guess you can't even LOOK at 'em cross-ways without risking a shoot-out.

 

[Lone_Gunman]

If you act differently when carrying a firearm, it means you aren't acting correctly.

Your level of alertness should be the same whether armed or not.

 

[Gamera]

Lone_Gunman has a good point.

 

[newbie4help]

well my level of awareness NOW is equal whether I carry or not.

it's just that my level of awareness has risen (carrying or not) SINCE I got my CHL. Partly because I'm aware how easy it can be to conceal a firearm!

 

[SharpsDressedMan]

Did you consider that they might ALSO be CCW carriers, licensed or otherwise, and thought YOU were the object of interest? Yes, you might want to be in Condition Yellow, but not let others OBSERVE you in Con Yellow. Kind of like being an intelligence operative in a foreign land. Observant, but not noticeably so.......

 

[Yo Mama]

What everyone else said!

 

[Seattleimport]

Shucks, he probably thought you were going to rough him up for "standin' in your sun", "Walkin' on your shadow", or "Reckless eyeballin'."

I kid, I kid.

 

[Tropical Buzz]

What most people said. I'll never be able to relate to the metality that it's fine to go around "creeping people out" just because you can. The ultimate goal of being capable of protecting yourself and others is always peace and harmony, not confrontation. Your introspection following the incident is a positive indication that you are concerned about the right things, including vigilance and situational awareness.

Wouldn't it be funny if another member started a thread about his near miss with this strange, hostile-looking perp that eyeballed him and his buddy in a parking lot? Lol!

 

[MisterMike]

In some law enforcement circles, an early test of common sense is placing recruits--ostensibly undercover--in a situation where an armed BG is presented. The recruits who give the BG a clear "tough guy" look are taken out by the BG's cohorts, an attempt to convey the lesson that trying to look like a superhero is a very good way to make yourself the first target.

I suppose it's a fine line. When hoodlums, or potential hoodlums, show up, you don't want them to think you're unaware or an easy target. However, if you find yourself staring them down, you may have ratcheted things up a bit, actually creating a more dangerous situation.