GuyWithQuestions
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- Jul 24, 2006
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I was wondering how one could react in this situation. I found a site on failing criminal interviews, since most try to size you up somehow before attacking; predators want easy prey. In the experience on the website, I was wondering about what she could do legally if her efforts to thwart the rapist's interview failed and he kept on coming towards her in that manner. Looking at the situation, it doesn't look like she would have been legally justified in pulling out a gun. Since he hadn't attacked her or verbally expressed the desire to do so, she couldn't use pepper spray after giving a verbal warning (or could she?). She also probably wouldn't want to get in trouble with work. But when you read what happened, it's obvious that there's a good chance she was in trouble and normal guys don't act like that, along with the author who works with cases like this on a regular basis who said she strongly believes that the woman was being interviewed. So what could she do legally if she did everything she did to fail the rapist's interview but it still didn't work?
This is the article:
http://www.rapeescape.com/interview.htm
This is the article:
http://www.rapeescape.com/interview.htm
A Successful "Failure" of a Pre-Attack Interview
Failing your next interview can be a good self-defense strategy in preventing a rape and possibly save your life.
Because they are more "predatory" in nature than "opportunistic" (although there are certainly rapes that occur during the commission of another crime simply because the opportunity presents itself -- like say, during a burglary -- the majority of attacks are planned) rapists are on the lookout for their next victim.
Part of that game is to identify potential victims. One element of that process is to simply observe or case situations where women might be available and alone. Remember that the vast majorities of rapes are committed by someone who is acquainted with you and your situation. I'm not saying they are friends with you, just that they've seen you, they know where you work, live or shop.
Another element in their game is to "interview" you to see if you are going to make a good victim.
Let's examine a pre-attack situation that Charlotte found herself in.
Charlotte works at a construction site for a new retail location in one of the trailers that houses two high-level managers of the project. Much of the day she is alone in the office.
She tearfully recounted her situation to me:
She heard someone coming up the wooden steps to the front door of the trailer and got up from her desk to meet the visitor in the main room of the trailer because she "doesn't like to feel trapped" in her office in the back.
An unfamiliar man entered, wearing a construction hard hat. His first question to her, "Are you here alone?" Immediately Charlotte's alarm bells went off.
She ignored the question and firmly asked "How may I help you?"
He asked if this was the trailer for another project that he named. The project he mentioned is an actual project that is up the road from the project Charlotte is working on. She said it was not and they he would have to drive north to reach the project.
He advanced toward her with his next question, "Well, can I buy some of the merchandise from (the soon to be completed retail operation)?"
She told me she was becoming quite fearful at this point because this guy was clearly advancing on her with intent. He then asked if he could buy some of the photos that were framed and on display in the office. She countered his question firmly and told him they did not have what he wanted there.
She confessed to me that even though she countered his questions firmly, her heart was pounding and she began to edge toward the back door of the trailer hoping she could escape before the visitor could grab her.
As Charlotte backed up, he advanced toward her again, his eyes locked on hers. Then he pointed through the window on the back door and said, "Do I need to go there (toward the other project) to get the (merchandise)?
Now, Charlotte is terrified. She recounted she "knew" he was going to reach out and grab her and she literally did not know what she was going to do next. Charlotte wisely did not follow the man's gesture toward the window. She continued to look directly at him and this time stated with finality, "We have nothing to do with what you want."
She said the guy gave her a particular look and then laughed in a derisive way. "I think he knew he had me scared and he was laughing at me," she told me. She was visibly shaken and crying as she recalled the situation.
The man then walked back out the front door, stopping along the way to take one of Charlotte's business cards before he left.
Whew. Charlotte had successfully "failed" an interview.
I've known this woman for a couple of years. She is tough, wise and very good at reading people. She tearfully recounted the situation and said that her overriding thought during this situation was that of, "oh my God, this is how it happens. It's happening to me right now and I don't know what to do next." I definitely think she was being interviewed in a pre-attack scenario.
This guy was probably someone who made deliveries to the construction sites or was someone who had business on the site. She said he was "comfortable" being on the site and felt he knew his way around. Obviously, he knew Charlotte was alone in the trailer and his first question was aimed at confirming this. His pattern of asking a string of questions in order to close the distance between him and her is classic. The fact that he wouldn't take no for an answer is also a classic pattern.
However, Charlotte did everything right. She didn't confirm that she was alone. She didn't act flustered with his changing questions. She didn't take her eyes off of him even when he pointed out the window. She thinks he laughed at her because he knew he had scared her. I think he laughed because he knew that she knew what his game was and didn't act like a victim (despite her being petrified with fear on the inside).
His emotional blackmail at the end of the encounter was to take her business card in gesture of "I know who you are and I can come back and hurt you if you tell anyone".
In the upcoming book, "Fight Like a Girl", I present two other true cases of women who were interviewed previous to an attack. In both, the predator uses a series of questions to engage the woman. Most of the time attackers will be very, very good at engaging you. Chances are they have done it before and are a good judge of character. Some of the interviews you face weekly from strange men might literally be practice interviews from predators honing their craft. Others are just from jerks trying to engage you as an attractive woman.
The interviews might seem innocuous to the casual observer and are easily denied by the interviewer. For example, the opening gambit usually takes the form of a common question like, "What time do you have?" or "Are you from around here?" Don't be surprised whatever it is. A common question still is to ask for a light or a cigarette. Interestingly, in one of the cases I have in the book, the attacker uses a misdirection move by pointing inside a car to distract the victim. This is similar to the misdirection move Charlotte's attacker used when he pointed out the window. In the case of the guy pointing into the car, the victim said she instinctively followed his gesture and he used his other hand to grab her hair and slam her head against the edge of the car roof. In Charlotte's case, she wisely did not take her eyes off the guy, even though he was gesturing out the window.
In some East Coast cities, a popular way to engage someone (often to pickpocket them) is to squirt ketchup or mustard from one of the small packets available at fast-food restaurants onto a victim's coat. When they tell you about it, you are going to be occupied looking at your coat, taking off your coat and trying to wipe the ketchup off. They might even just say you have ketchup on you coat, whether you do or not. One woman on the East Coast reported that this happened to her, but she had heard of the scam before and did not fall for it. When two people approached her and told her she had ketchup on her coat, she clutched her purse tightly to her body and backed up, keeping her eyes on the two. She said it was humorous to see them continuously offer to hold her purse while she checked her coat. She did neither and told the men to leave her alone. "I'm still mad they ruined a good coat, though," she said.
If someone pays you a compliment completely out of the blue, be suspicious. If someone makes an attempt to appeal to your vanity by asking if you are a model, actress, dancer, etc. -- be suspicious. If someone asks you a series of questions and continues to press -- BE ON GUARD! Often the questions don't even make sense or aren't related. If the guy will not take "no" for an answer to anything -- step back and keep your distance, YOU ARE BEING INTERVIEWED.
Don't feel compelled to answer questions, give money or thank strangers for compliments. Nice guys would not dream of violating your space or sensibilities by trying these ruses.
Just say, "Leave me alone, I have no business with you." (Check out both the soft and hard challenge in Rape Escape Level 1).
Don't worry about what they think, it doesn't make you an bad person just because you don't play into their game.
I'd say it makes you a smart person.
