"moderators, please make a sticky note about letting people (wives, girlfriends, moms, sisters, daughters) decide for themselves which gun they should get based on what they like, what they can shoot, what they can carry; and not what we think they should....."
Actually this advice is just as bad as choosing a firearm for her yourself as it is based on one or two or both of the following assumptions;
1. She is educated and knowlegable enough about how different types of firearms operate (automatic, semi-automatic, SA semi-auto. DAO auto, DA/SA semi-auto, striker fired semi auto, SA revolver, DAO revolver, DA/SA revolver), the differences within each type of firearm (for example safety features on semi-auto; grip, thumb, trigger, magazine disconnect), the strengths and weaknesses of each type (for example repeat strike ability of the DAO and SA/DA vs. SA and Striker on a round that does not fire the first time). And this is not even touching the differences in calibers and ammunition selection and how the right (or wrong) bullet selection can easily change the effectiveness of the cartridge.
2. The second assumption is the sales clerk that is showing her guns is knowledgable about all firearms and, most importantly, truly understands the physical differences between men and women.
I once asked for advice about selecting a handgun for my wife once on THR and it got ugly pretty fast. My wife has both physical and medical limitations. By physical I mean she lacks the body strength for holding a heavy handgun when shooting and by medical I mean disabilities caused by carpel tunnel. The majority of the posters kept recommending a semi-auto even though she lacks the strength to cycle the action. Then they kept insisting if she just used the right technique she can use a semi-auto. It finally got so ugly I was called a liar by a poster who can not believe a woman can ride a horse, shoot a revolver while riding a horse in Cowboy Mounted Shooting and could successfully fight off a mugger who attacked her in a Wal-Mart parking lot but can’t rack the slide on a semi-auto.
Finding the right handgun for her has been a long 30+ year search that we finally ended in November of 2013. You name she has tried it over the years. She is a very good single action revolver shooter but (remember the part and strengths and weaknesses of a design) but she has concerns about safely decocking it while under stress. She commented that it would be safer to decock just by shooting the offender (got to love those Texas women!)
Last November while shopping in the gun library at Cabelas I spotted a nice Colt Police Positive Special with 4” barrel. While the caliber was wrong (I want a 32-20) I asked to see it. When I handled it I was reminded of it’s smaller size and weight than the S&W K-frame. I called my wife over who was in the other end of the store and when she showed up I handed her the gun and asked her what she thought of it. She checked the gun to make sure it was empty, closed the cylinder, picked a spot on the wall and quickly and smoothly dry fired it twice double action. You have no idea how big of deal this is. This is the first handgun she can easily fire double action. She loves it’s lighter weight and it’s slightly smaller frame and grip is a perfect for her.
While the final decision to buy it was hers we would never have found it if I was not actively involved in the search. In fact she would never have been shown the gun by a Cablela’s salesman at the gun counter on the main floor as this gun was in the Gun Library.
My long winded point is simply this. As THR members we love firearms and have a higher level of knowledge about them then the average person. We also should (well , better!!!) know her physical abilities and, maybe even most importantly, her mental attitude about using deadly force. It is foolish of us not to be actively involved in helping her select a firearm if she wants your advice.
