At Coal Creek Armory, we get all types, of all ages. It's a real menagerie of tacticool and urban stylz. We get an awful lot of these guys who come in from the boondocks dressed out like Dog the Bountyhunter or some kind of GSG-9 castoff, perhaps wearing two Ruger P95's in a nylon double shoulder rig, or a .50 Desert Eagle in a thigh holster. It's hard not to laugh right in their faces sometimes. However, it's the urban stylz posse that really takes the cake. These are the hip-hop boyz, of whatever race, who come in, reeking of green apple flavored blunts, wearing their flannel pajama pants, flip-flops, baseball hat cocked jauntilly to one side, and Mercedes hood ornaments dangling from gold plated tow chains, to ask me about the availability of "clips" for their Hi-Point fohty-fahv. For real, yo - I'd rather share oxygen with the mallninjas and bountyhunter wannabes than with these assclowns. But let's not leave out the ladies... I've never seen a female mallninja, but we do get a few ladies in the store who are equally impressive. My favorite type is the bleach bottle blonde, with the Tina Turner hairstyle, stooping from the burden of 50lbs of aftermarket bewbs spilling over the top her tube top, which reads, "It's better topless." She often completes the look with a set of 4" spike heels, and a pair of painted-on sparkly jeans, with the obligatory pink thong peeking out in back, saying, "Hi, I'm hard to get." As I said, we get all types, but, in the broad spectrum of this menagerie, I'd honestly have to say the tacticool brigade are some of the least egregious.
>edited for spelling
