What's your favorite gunboard whopper?

[Joe Demko]

Gunboards, like bars, seem to be places where folks feel free to, shall we say, stretch the truth a bit in the interest of a good story. I've read some real doozies over the ears, but let's just list our real favorites.
Mine was on AR15.com several years ago, when I still frequented that place. In a "Samurai vs. European Knight" thread, a gentleman who claimed to be an expert in use of the katana jumped into the discussion. He claimed to own a number of handmade katana, one of which would "slice beer bottles" in half. He claimed that he would hang the bottles by the neck from a string, and then slice them with the sword. He was emphatic that the sword was actually slicing the glass, too.

Edited for clarity.

 

[Preacherman]

I seem to recall a thread on TFL where some idjit claimed that either he, or his brother (or something like that), had converted a Glock to fire .454 Casull...

 

[Sean Smith]

The original Mall Ninja thread, the one where the guy claimed he duct-taped armor panels to his back.

Another one, obviously a joke, was where folks kept making up more insane fictional handgun calibers.. I think I eventually claimed victory with the .700 CrazyBastardMagnumButtStomper, which could destroy an entire building full of ballistic gelatin blocks. It might have been related to the ".454 Casull Glock" thread, I forget.

 

[Mark Tyson]

"Concrete piercing M-16 bullets that can sever a human being's limbs."

 

[Greg L]

Mall Ninja is at the top of my list.

Greg

 

[Navy joe]

Yep, definitely the .454 Ragin Glock with Titanium! barrel. Kid on GT (Doomfish) never did 'splain how the rounds fir in the magwell.

Or, anything that Gunkid, Hardin, Commando, Gomer, et. al ever said.

 

[HankB]

I remember a discussion concerning a gunshop (with a fancy website) that was advertising an "accurizing" service. They had a testimonial about a target shooter whose .308 bolt gun came in for their special treatment.

After the rifle was rebuilt, the owner was delighted - he routinely started shooting five shot, one-hole groups with the "new" rifle.

He was doing it at 600 yards.

And was using iron sights.

Worst case, with all the shots strung along one axis, that's still less than 0.2 MOA . . . which is mighty fine shooting.

 

[45R]

Glock Perfection.

 

[El Tejon]

Anything with bears, especially the mutant zombie kind that know martial arts.

 

[Oleg Volk]

"Of course I fight for freedom! I buried my rifle out back, didn't I?"

 

[Mike Irwin]

Some jackass either on TFL or the old Compuserve Firearms Forum who claimed to be able to shoot sub 10" groups at over a mile.

With a .308.

 

[Outlander]

I love it when everyone who owns a .22 says straight out of the box they'll shoot 1/2" groups at 50 yards ... with iron sights.
1/2" seems to be the magic number with CZs, 10/22s and Remingtons, not to mention the high priced rifles.

 

[MJRW]

"I shoot 1/4" groups


at 150 yards


off hand


with a Hi-point


and eyes closed


between the legs


while a violent monkey dry humps my shooting arm


standing on my head


while playing a piano with my other hand."

You get the idea.

 

[Preacherman]

MJRW - forgotten to take your meds today, have you?

 

[Mike Irwin]

"while a violent monkey dry humps my shooting arm"

He's not joking, Preacherman.

I've seen how he shoots!

 

[Hkmp5sd]

During the Iraq war.....

In the opening battle, the tank unit fired two 120 mm high velocity depleted uranium rounds straight down the main road,creating a powerful vacuum that literally sucked guerrillas out from their hideaways into the street where they were shot down by small arms fire or run over by the tanks.

 

[sm]

When I Read :

-"Millon Mom March"
-"Assault Pistols".
-" Evil Black Guns"
-" We are here to Protect You".

 

[GySgt]

Hkmp5sd.......

Now that one I like !!! I wonder how many kids he got to believe that one in Home Economics class !!! That's priceless!!

 

[Dave Markowitz]

SkunkApe's thread about CCW at a nudist colony.

 

[Cosmoline]

The katana seems to attract bizarre fanboys. Go to any "Kill Bill" forum and you'll find them in droves.

I've found this bio thread on the guns.ru forum to be most amusing:

http://ub8.homepagetools.com/modern...&Idle=10&Sort=0&Order=Descend&Page=0&Session=

 

[Mark Tyson]

There's fuel for your nightmares!

 

[RTFM]

Not a gun board thread, but from a maintenance manager I worked with.

Said in "Nam" His huey was crashing and just before it hit the dirt he jumped out with his M-60 and fired at the dirt. The recoil slowing his fall, and the rounds impacting the dirt made it like a 'soft bed of feathers'

I laughed so hard at him I damn near passed out, then I raised the B.F. flag and split a gut again.

He was so pissed at me for calling him on that, when I said he probably was no where near Vietnam, ever,he did not dispute the fact.
(A real Vet would have kicked my a$$ for telling them there were never there)

RTFM

 

[BerettaNut92]

"You Might Be a Tactical Poser If...." on Cult of the P7 and Koga Shuko's poser photos on HKPRO.

Cosmoline, how'd my picture get up there?

 

[Checkman]

Cosmoline-

Well the masked Ninja is fourteen. I seem to remember having some oddball ideas myself when I was that age. Boy has it been over twenty years already? But you're right, that bio and some of the others on that thread are pretty funny. I feel downright puny. I was military intelligence when I was on active duty in the Army and I spent more time mowing lawns and working in the motor pool then I did battling evil secret agents.

 

[Ed]

Cosmoline, that link was hillarious "I have never held a gun, but here is a list of 529 that I have looked at"