Your favorite bits of gunboard macho posturing?

Status
Not open for further replies.
It's funny, but I think some of my favorite gunboard posturing is when Joe chastises someone else.

I love you too, furious styles.

Go back and check through my posting history here, at TFL, and at the PA board. You will find a copious lack of "there I was..." posts with my name attached. The two "Action Joe" stories you'll find that I've related are about the time I was burglarized and the time I stabbed the guy with a florist's vial. I'm just not a chest-thumping, d*ck-waving kind of guy.
I freely admit that I gaily heap derision and liberally pour sarcasm all over posts by chest-thumpers, Randroids, GOPbots, and_in general_anybody whose posts can be summarized as "I'm right, you're evil."
You might therefore, legitimately accuse me of being snarky. You might accuse me of being an elitist. You might accuse me of being a sarcastic prick. But see, fs me ol' china, this here thread is about "macho posturing" on gunboards, so you are_at best_ off topic. Maybe you should start a thread of your own about me (APS?) instead of threadcrapping in this zombie.
 
Last edited:
There I was, 40 thousand feet, no parachute, a naked blonde under each arm and no rounds left for my trusty combat masterpiece.

by my figuring, you'd be able to get to the mile-high club about 5 times....or would that be the 5 mile high club twice?


If the blondes had enough hair, why not weave a parachute to slow you down, allow you to aim for a haystack????
 
Jimmy Carter.... Your best U.N. advertisement for the deep cover sleeper and 'YURI' implant, since ww2. So keep hope alive all you wanna be, gonna be dictators, it can be done, if Russia's KGB did it!
 
I must say thank you to whom ever revived this thread. I missed it last time it was up on the boards and never read the mall ninja chronicals.
Holy crap did I laugh...

thanks for an evening of laughs with the mall ninja links.

I love this place.

NY Res Q
 
Some do, some don't, and others go back to jail (without their assault wheelbarrows though).

LOL. Forgot about him. Anyone have the link to when he got arrested?
There was some pretty funny stuff on that one.
 
My favorite bit of gun board posturing?

At present, it would have to be this new thing I keep seeing.

"I'm beginning to feel disillusioned with THR.. I mean, this IS THE HIGH ROAD, isnt it? You extremists are advocating illegal activities!"

:D

Well I guess that's not really macho posturing - but wimpy posturing is even worse if you ask me.
 
My favorite closed thread with posturing was from someone who claimed they would use deadly force to prevent the police from performing a cavity search on their person.

Being an older person now, I just got a letter from my doctor suggesting :eek: that wonderful cavity search at my next check up. What gun should I use to prevent this? Or should I bring a bottle of CLP to the exam? :what:
 
1. The types that say, never draw your CCW unless you are going to shoot. Like the gun can't leave the holster without drawing blood. Sure hope that works out for ya!

2. The people who think a CCW means they are Batman. They fantasize about walking in on a violent crime in progress and shooting the bad guy 4 times in the back of the head, and being hailed a hero by one and all. Let me know when that happens. And the address of the refrigerator box you'll be living in after the wrongful death suit strips you of all your assets.

3. The ones that have a tactical minimum daily loadout that envies a uniformed LEO. You know, full size 1911 with three mags, BUG is a commander-size 1911 with two mags, carry OC spray, Taser, a big folder knife, a smaller BUK (Back Up Knife), a Sure-Fire flashlight, spare batteries for the flashlight, ASP baton, cell phone, pager, wallet, keys, etc. and all this stylishly concealed beneath a tastefully cut suit coat. Not to forget the trunk gun, the Bug-Out bags filling the trunk, 30 gallons of drinking water, two spare tires, etc.
 
The types that say, never draw your CCW unless you are going to shoot. Like the gun can't leave the holster without drawing blood. Sure hope that works out for ya!
While I disagree with that too, it's not posturing. It's just a different philosophy that takes "Don't draw your gun unless you're willing to use it," a perfectly valid rule, so far as to become "Don't draw your gun unless you have to use it," which I think is pretty silly.

But it ain't macho posturing.
 
The ones that have a tactical minimum daily loadout that envies a uniformed LEO. You know, full size 1911 with three mags, BUG is a commander-size 1911 with two mags, carry OC spray, Taser, a big folder knife, a smaller BUK (Back Up Knife), a Sure-Fire flashlight, spare batteries for the flashlight, ASP baton, cell phone, pager, wallet, keys, etc. and all this stylishly concealed beneath a tastefully cut suit coat. Not to forget the trunk gun, the Bug-Out bags filling the trunk, 30 gallons of drinking water, two spare tires, etc.

Dunno, most of the "big" loadouts seem reasonable to me. I can manage a midframe Glock and 1-2 spare mags under a loose T-shirt fine. I could get by with no spares probably, but it evens out the weight so my pants don't sag to one side. Wallet in side pocket, keys and cell in the other. Backup piece, if carried, in rear pocket, backup reload in same or other rear pocket.

Glock, holster, 3 mags, 40 rounds, 2 mag carriers, backup, holster, reload, only adds up to 4.5 pounds. That really isn't as much as it sounds like. Just the usual crap I carry in my pockets adds up to a little over 2 pounds, pants and belt included. A cheap little Wal-Mart belt made out of cardboard holds up everything fine, so it can't be too heavy. I don't even carry anything but the backup that often, but it becomes unnoticable after about 5 minutes. There were a couple times at the range today where I went "where'd I leave my stuff???", only to find it was on my hips.

---------------

While I disagree with that too, it's not posturing. It's just a different philosophy that takes "Don't draw your gun unless you're willing to use it," a perfectly valid rule, so far as to become "Don't draw your gun unless you have to use it," which I think is pretty silly.

I think you mean more like "don't draw your gun unless you're going to use it" for that second one? Not drawing unless you have to use the gun sounds perfectly logical to me.

I think that's just a matter of simplicity and mindset. If you tried to be totally realistic about it, you'd end up with something like "If I draw my gun, I will shoot unless the bad guy turns and runs away, or drops his weapon and puts his hands up, or whatever." The "gun must taste blood once drawn" philosophy merely cuts off every word past "shoot."

And that may be important for getting someone into the right mindset. A lot of people do consider a gun more of a threat than an actual weapon, sadly. Endorsing an "if I draw, it is because I will shoot" philosophy may help to drive the point home to those people, that the only time you should clear leather is if you are in fear for your life, and shooting is justified (at the instant where you make the decision to draw).
 
While I disagree with that too, it's not posturing. It's just a different philosophy that takes "Don't draw your gun unless you're willing to use it," a perfectly valid rule, so far as to become "Don't draw your gun unless you have to use it," which I think is pretty silly.

But it ain't macho posturing.


Evan - I agree with DocZinn. It dosnt mean that everytime you draw your gun you have to shoot somebody but rather that if you take it out youd better not be doing it to "threaten" someone. A gun as a threat is a very stupid and dangerous way to escalate the level of violence in a situation. Im not saying that you are avocating that but Im just pointing out the reasoning is not meant to make you shoot but to keep you from drawing.

Please excuse any bad wording, horrible misspellings or general missing the point that I may have used in my post, its kinda late for me:eek:
 
Prepared?

evan price:

2. and being hailed a hero by one and all. Let me know when that happens. And the address of the refrigerator box you'll be living in after the wrongful death suit strips you of all your assets.

Uh Evan, I just moved the refrigerator box out behind the backhoe. It's right next to the tactical wheelbarrow.

BTW, do you think a 35 inch tall tire is too much for the wheelbarrow? I think it would look cool along with a couple of Ace buttstocks replacing the handles. A wheelbarrow really isn't tactical if you can't get a good cheek weld...
 
"BTW, do you think a 35 inch tall tire is too much for the wheelbarrow? I think it would look cool along with a couple of Ace buttstocks replacing the handles. A wheelbarrow really isn't tactical if you can't get a good cheek weld..."

The most important feature of the tactical wheelbarrow is solid tires. With the inflatable varity, one shot and you are down:evil:
 
On most TW's (tactical wheelbarrows) 35's aren't bad as long as you don't expect to encounter any serious obstacles, so they would be OK for the average mall crawl or playground assault... Your best bet is an agressive agricultural-tread tractor tire 48" tall or so... Also it is best to load them with Calcium both for weight (it stabilizes the firing platform and makes it not so top heavy and tippy) but also to provide mass to bash through things like fences, porch railings, and school buses. You also need to ditch those wimpy wood handles and substitute some made from ironwood or old growth oak, at least 4x6 in size, to prevent tactical handle separation (THS). THS is at best an embrassment, or at worst, potentially fatal.
Some European TWU (Tactical Wheelbarrow Users) report good results using a Michelin Run-Flat tire in 20" wheel size combined with a sticky tread compound for Autobahn use. Of course this severely limits off-road and rough country ability but by using a centralized tyre inflation/deflation system like the HUMMVEE you can do better in rough terrain by changing the overall ground clearance. With an on board air system, and using an air-bag suspension instead of the solid axle found on most tactical wheelbarrows, allows more load carrying capability and the ability to lower the overall profile of the TW when cresting hills to stay hull-down.

Your mileage may vary, of course.

And as far as the don't draw unless you shoot thing, I am of course referring to the folks who say they never draw unless the decision has been made that they WILL shoot and that's final. Period. Draw & shoot. "If'n I'd ha drawed it you'd be shot" Well, IMHO, that's silly.
 
My favorite in recent memory was the guy on TFL who claimed to shoot 1/2 minute groups with his dragonov at 600 yards all day long. When people challenged his claims, he claimed that he was some sort of tacticool 1331 5331, that is until Mr Lucibella called him out on it.:evil:
 
mall ninja....

Sooooooooo Funny!!!!

Laughing so hard my side hurts!!!!!!!!

The guys who think that carrying where even illegially is ok because it may save you life. How many of them actually carry?
 
Evan - Basically if you've got reason enough to pull your gun you aint got the time to stop and decide if your gonna use it. More than anything else the "don't pull if you don't shoot" is meant to keep people from pulling their guns without need.

I personally think the worst kind of macho posturing is when a person speaks of having unecessarily pulled a gun.

An older guy that comes by my job sometimes told me of a young kid(14-16) that "maybe" stole something from his flea market stand. He grabbed the kid pulled him into a closed off area and pulled a 1911(he called it a .45 but the way he described it Im sure it was a 1911) on him. He put the gun in the kids face and told him that he would kill him if he ever stole from him again. He seemed very proud of this. That is the worst kind of macho BS.



Edit:cracked butt - Thanks for the link. Thats the funniest bit of reading I've done in a while. Gotta hand it to the mod Rich, admirably handled.
 
Last edited:
A story I can personally relate was a guy that worked for me about 15 yrs ago. We were doing construction work at a copper smelter in the SW and hired one of the engineers sons as a favor. any one who has hired as a favor can guess the results. Anyway this guy had no skill and was only hanging on because of his daddy, I had him and a few others doing some laborer work out on the tailings pile it was summer hot as hell and they were breaking in the shade when the guy tells me something bit him. I look at his hand and see nothing, no squashed bug around only his word. He says scorpion and I know they are around and he starts to act sick so I load him in the truck head to the office on the way to the field office he starts shivering and putting on a bull$h1t act so at the office I have them call ahead to clinic with his sting claim. On the way this guy is going for the academy award and tells me "HE HASN'T FELT THAT MUCH PAIN SINCE BEING WOUNDED SMUGGLING GUNS INTO AFGANISTAN"this from a guy who can't find his a$$ with both hands and a search warrant and now he wants me to believe he was special ops CIA. Anyway I'm shure he had to find a job somewhere and it might have been heading up a tactical mall security detail. My contact ended about a week after when I saw him drinking a premixed Jim Beam and Coke at lunch he seemed surprised to be fired for drinking on the job. His father confided later his shame for sireing such a worthless ba$t@rd.
 
this whole thread has gone a little macho

There are plenty of dorks out there. I have written a few things which looking back upon them are a bit tasteless. But to me, it is just as 'macho' to sit around and punk on the people writing who have a different bent on their passion, who seem ready to be prepared for anything, who are trying to be 'tactical'. I mean, sure its cheesy, but acting all smug and righteous from behind a computer and knocking on everything we 'don't approve' of isn't much better.
Some of us have performed under tense scenarios. Some haven't. It doesn't mean we can't ask and share information. I have known some arrogant jerks who were good at what they did. I have known some shy geeks who were just as awesome at their work too.
Some threads and links did have me laughing outloud...not tactical where I am working :uhoh:
st
 
Last edited:
I am so sorry that I wasn't around for the Mall Ninja days. I'll have to research those posts.

My favorite bouts of machismo come from the kids. Like the something-teen over at TFL that caused a firestorm when he asked how to conceal a dessert eagle. Any posts that refers to weapons by their names given in video games or tries to compare characteristics between video-game performance and real life performance is always a hoot.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top