A small-frame revolver may not kick so much if held with a proper high grip. Just about every self-taught shooter holds revolvers too low, with predictable results. The same is true if a beginner learns from a self-taught shooter, as it is the blind leading the blind. A high hold can significantly mitigate muzzle flip.
Moreover, a beginner should learn with the all-steel or all-stainless steel variants, not the ones with lighter alloy frames, and the Ti-lites, with Titanium cylinders, can be torture devices. Even with a high hold, I cannot tolerate training with a Ti-lite, and sold mine. An Airweight is painless, and light enough.
Try handling a Ruger SP101. Its heft can really dampen recoil, and if held firmly, high on the grip, there will be relatively little muzzle flip. Some women have really liked mine, wanting to buy one of them.
My wife is not as small as you. With that in mind, she likes her 9mm Kahr K9, a solid stainless steel small-frame S&W chambered in .32 H&R, and a little-known L-frame snubby, the Model 242. She really misses her 2.5"-barreled S&W Model 66, that is on long-term loan to her brother, an unfortunate choice on her part, as she loves that gun.