Why do some act like vultures when there is a family tragedy?

[jsalcedo]

I inherited my gun hoarding gene from my great uncle Frank.

He was a hard working, hard drinking jovial, as non PC of man as you could get.

Uncle frank would take me into his gun/trophy room and show me his
reloading bench, shotguns, rifles, pistols, and all the mounted trophies from his lifetime of hunting. He also kept my great grandfathers (who I never met) rifle and a deer head from their first hunting trip in the 40's.

Uncle Frank raised one stepson and another son and daughter.
The stepson had trouble with drinking and the law, the other son enjoyed
guns, hunting and fishing but never matured past the mental level of an 11 year old.

I would go up every summer and have barbecues, listen to Franks hunting stories, off color jokes and political views escpecailly about all the pinkos passing gun control laws and how they should hang etc..

The guy was the salt of the earth.

Sadly he was diagnosed with inoperable cancer right around Christmas 2003 and passed away on Jan 5 2004.

I was driving up to see him when I found out about the cancer but was sadly too late. So spent a week up there visiting the rest of my family and
was able to be there for them at least.

They inform me that my late uncles wife and kids cut off all ties with his side of the family (his sisters, me, other nephews etc..) and took all his
prized guns to the pawnshop and sold them.

Come to find out they were aftraid of us trying to get something that belonged to him so they cleaned out and sold every last possesion including 40 and 50 year old stuffed birds, memoribilia etc.

My next closest uncle (who also is into guns) and I were livid. I would have paid them a fair price for those guns just to keep them in the family if just given the opprotunity.

They wouldn't even say what shop they took the guns to, either out of shame at their behavior or downright malice. They were lucky if the got 20 cents on the dollar for them. (ignorance and greed runamuck)

I've decided that if it is getting close to my time I'm giving away everything to who I want. Maybe some of my guns will be passed down to future generations if I'm lucky.

Except for my Davis .380 that useless hunk of crap can go in the crematorium with me.

 

[JamisJockey]

Gotta have a will, otherwise the family vultures will descend on the still-warm carcass.

 

[Leatherneck]

Families can be trying. And the stress associated with a death of a key player often seems to accentuate the worst traits instead of the best. Very sad that the guns that had a real meaning to both of you were squandered away.

Giving away your prized possessions makes sense if you know when you're going to pass on but if you want to continue enjoying them, a simple codicil to your will can specify what goes to whom. A copy to each recipient would be smart.

Sorry about the loss of your uncle, JS.

TC
TFL Survivor

 

[Sylvilagus Aquaticus]

Sometimes even a will is not help against a fast-moving scavenging family member.

My ex's teenaged sister gutted their parents' house within hours of the funeral. Her running buddies made off with everything not nailed down or bolted in. I'm just glad my ex got the most precious items (to her) when we left that day. The house became uninhabitable soon thereafter due to 'gang activity' and was sold for pennies on the dollar of its value prior to her parents' death.

Make sure several folks know your intentions and who you want to have what before someone decides for you. Then write it down.

Regards,
Rabbit.

 

[Ktulu]

At least you have the most valuable thing your uncle left behind, good memories.

Gotta have a will...

Better you have a house key and a key to the gun safe. My dad and I already talked about it. If he dies, first thing I am to do is empty the gunsafe. His words, "this stuff is not negotiable."

 

[Pendragon]

There are not many things worse than that.

I can see if they were just money grubbing and wanted the $$$, but not even telling you where they sold the stuff - thats just so wrong.

If they had a molecule of a soul, they would give you the claim checks so you could go redeem some of the guns - heck, they could even be less jerks by SELLING you the claim tix.

My dad was very close to his grandfather and has told me many interesting stories about him. He is not even sure how it happened, but he wnded up with his Winchester model 63 ( I think) 22 semi rifle - its in great shape and quite valuable apart from the sentimentality.

My dad gave it to me just before I moved to Texas - I am the only one in the family with a serious interest in firearms so I think it just made sense to him.

This is the one gun I will never sell - I will sell my beloved Valtro before I sell my great grand-fathers squirrel rifle.

He said when he died, lots of people showed up and collected stuff - he was not sure, be he thinks the gun may have been willed directly to him.

I am deeply sorry that this happened to you.

 

[4v50 Gary]

What can I say. Family. Death always brings out the vultures and darn it if I barely got anything when my grandmother passed away.

 

[JJohnston015]

I guess I'm lucky. Nothing like that happened after the death of 4 grandparents.

I have an uncle in his 70s who has promised me his long guns (both of them!), but he's 800 miles away, and has family closer (in more than one sense). He promised them to me because he has no male heir, and I'm the only nephew who shoots.

However, I don't actually expect to get them. That closer family will probably lay some claim to them, and I'm not going to get too worked up over it. It's not worth the bad blood it might cause.

 

[Moondancer]

Not Nearly as Bad, But...

I had a shirt-tail relative, something like the husband of my Mom's second cousin or the like, who was somewhat instrumental in my developing an interest in handguns.

He was the sole reasons I became interested in handloading for my then only handgun, a 1972 S&W K-38. He had a mint, first run (IIRC) S&W Model 57 .41 Magnum that I drooled over every chance I got. None of his three children, two males and one female, had any interest in guns or shooting. (And none of my parents or grandparents had any interest in guns other than as simple tools to use on the farm.) Although I saw him rarely, he always took time to talk guns with me.

He unexpectedly died from a heart attack in his mid-to-late 40s. After the funeral, I spoke with his wife about the Model 57. "Oh, none of the kids wanted anything to do with it and I hate guns, so I sold it." As I recall, she got maybe 25% of what it was worth.

I did manage to get a sweater of his, and wore it until it had more holes than thread.

I empathize, believe me.

 

[BigG]

Human nature can be an ugly thing.

 

[patent]

They inform me that my late uncles wife and kids cut off all ties with his side of the family (his sisters, me, other nephews etc..) and took all his

Offer them money for the claim tickets. If they don't have them, call a local pawnshop and ask what happens when a claim ticket is lost, maybe you can still work around this.

patent

 

[P95Carry]

I sympathize with your loss ..... and am utterly disgusted at the behavior of ''those'' family members.

Despicable is another word. Brings out the very worst in me this sorta thing .... and I daresay you might well attest to ''not even p'ing on them if they were on fire''.

Remember him well .... best thing you can do ... and as for those ''others'' .. well, maybe the day will come when true judgement is pronounced .... by higher authority.

 

[cratz2]

Things like this frustrate me beoyond the ability to type what I want to say!

It's strange though... discounting it being something close to your heart - such as guns for most of us - just more mundane things like furniture and the like... it seems most folks are in one of three categories... Either they want everything, they want nothing or they only want a few personal items. I'm a nothing kind of guy but I think I'm in the minority.

 

[Ed]

I have often thought about stuff like this because I have seen it happen to friends. You know some of these people feel owed the things. My parents and brother and grandparents and so forth and I have a wonderful relationship. But when they die I don't expect anything from them. If I outlive them I'll recieve stuff but its all a gift. I didn't earn their belongings, they are theirs to do with what they want. So I'll be happy with whatever or nothing. Now that I'm off that rant. I totally agree with you. That was a mean, no good thing to do. I don't understand some people.

 

[Monkeyleg]

It's a damned shame that you have relatives like that, but it sounds like everyone does.

My brother and I are in charge of matters when my parents pass away. The first thing we'll do is change the locks on the doors of the folks' house.

 

[sm]

I'm sorry for your loss.

Topgun's thread about divesting comes to mind. My family made a decision some time ago. I divested for additonal reasons.

I gave away competition guns to folks that are into or will soon be competing. Gave guns to Vets, elderly , single mom's in need. The ones I sold were guns I - well - folks needed money and a gun followed me home. Monies derived from those went to documentaries, RKBA efforts like CCW efforts in other states, legal funds...etc.

I have my choices narrowed down...well really never swayed much all these years anyway. I have things I have for the sake of appreciation only. The family knows I will not get into a squabble when the folks pass...they can be uncivil if they choose...I have my ethics and principles.

I only keep CCW here, other stuff off-site...Instructions are clear and my wishes will be followed through.

Leave family anything and they will forget you - leave family nothing and they will always curse, never forgive and never forget you .

 

[oscar]

I have a typed and signed note in with my will stipulating who gets which guns. I was lucky when my folks died as my brother and I got along fine. If there were 3 of anything, I let him have 2. I now have an elderly aunt that I look after and I have noticed that the vultures are gathering.

 

[Mikul]

Deaths in the family bring out the best and the worst in people.

My Aunt made off with her mother's coin collection and jewelry, and told my father that she hasn't seen it. It just disappeared. Every time my father went over to the house something else was missing. It's not that my Aunt wasn't entitled to certain things, but to take it without discussing it with her brother was wrong. Then to deny taking it was even more pathetic.

My cousin was all of 17 when his grandfather died. They weren't really close, and he is somewhat uninvolved in the family in a way that 17 year-olds can be. He showed up to his grandfather's house every day on the weekends to help clean it up and move things out. The only thing he asked for was an old rocking chair that nobody else was interested in. Our family was both surprised and impressed.

 

[Double Naught Spy]

Why vultures?
Opportunity for something at no dollar cost (Greed).
Because they are 'family' and feel they deserve stuff.
Because they want to keep some other family member from having a given item (spite).
Because they want to own particular items that may tie to family heritage and will be nasty to the rest of the family to have a piece of heritage.

Then there is a bizarre since of tradition that can come about that folks seem to think will justify why they deserve items. I have heard of other cases, but this is one I have experienced. My own cousin has already started on on making claims a few years back on my mother's grandmother's china and my mother is still alive!!! She thinks she will deserve the china since it "needs" to continue passing down the female line of the family and as I am not female, obviously I am not entitled. I don't know that there was ever any attempt to consciously pass the china on the female side as it had never been stated until my cousin made the claim. The china did pass on the female side as most of the kids were female, not killed off in wars, and survived longer over all.

It is funny how folks can be the best folks in the world UNTIL sort type of specific event such as the death of a relative and then they become vultures.

 

[mephisto]

Ive seen it happen in a close knit family. my grandpas prize boxing gloves that were used in a joe louis fight went "poof" after his death. they were to be my fathers. 10 years later i saw them at my uncles house, his grand kids were using them as bases for pickle.

 

[Kingcreek]

Sorry for your loss.
Trying times bring out the best and the worst in folks.
My Dad was dying of cancer while my sister and her a-hole husband were visiting he had the BIL do a gun inventory. (probly salivated on some of em) Then he asked me if there were any certain guns I wanted before he bequethed them.
I said, Dad, BIL is a bonehead and you know it. I want all of them. All of them, and nothing else. I will take care of them, appreciate them, use them, and someday pass them on. Give sister whatever you want, money, grandma's silver and china, the house, whatever- I don't care. But give me all the guns.
I got 'em all. Sister's happy (she couldn't care less about the guns). and BIL split with his pregnant girlfriend 3 months after Dad died.

 

[Dorrin79]

you know, i got to see this last year when my grandfather passed away from terminal cancer.

My uncle claimed his (impressive) gun collection, including the .22 I learned to shoot with and the revolver that was the first handgun I ever fired.

This in spite of the fact that my uncle had no expressed interest in firearms, and my mother, myself and my brothers are all "gun nuts"

We were pretty upset, but we abided by my mother's wishes to not make a fuss, as the gun collection was properly the firstborn son's.

The rest of the story? Found out over Christmas that Uncle has started teaching his 13 yr old daughter and 10 yr old son to shoot, and it has become a family hobby for them.

I still wish I could have had one of my grandfather's guns, but I no longer begrudge my uncle his posession of them. All things considered, I would rather have them become proud gun owners to carry on my grandfather's traditions, than not.

 

[romulus]

Except for my Davis .380 that useless hunk of crap can go in the crematorium with me.

Sounds like something your great uncle would say. (belly laugh)

Worse than what has befallen you is the bickering over posessions when those who would bequeath them are still living. Makes you want to cut ties with existing aquired relatives just to save your soul.

I really enjoyed your description of Uncle Frank, God rest him.

 

[BHPshooter]

jsalcedo, I'm sorry for your loss. As if the death of a loved one isn't hard enough, having greedy family members makes it much worse.

I can completely understand your situation. When my Grandpa passed, the vulture in the family swooped, and the rest of the family was very upset. When my Grandma died, there were more vultures.

I cannot understand the unadulterated greed. The family vultures took (and still have to this day) things that my family and myself gave my grandparents.

I'm sorry for you. Hopefully something will work itself out with your Uncle's firearms.

Best wishes,
Wes

 

[quick68]

I have seen my share of greedy people before, but sometimes people will suprise you. After my grandmother died, my uncle got her 2 rifles before anything could be devided up. A few days later he gave them to my brother and I and told us our father had bought them for her so he thought they should be ours.