Why do some act like vultures when there is a family tragedy?

[Omega_7]

Heed the above advice

About handing a copy of the will to the person(s) who will be the beneficiaries. I have watched on the sideline as an unscrupulous lawyer who was likely SLEEPING with a female relative of the deceased.. entered the deceased's home and supposedly obtained the "will" which read nothing like it read 6 months before. The grand daughters of the deceased got nothing, although the will was originally all to them, this other woman who we believe was the lawyer's LOVER got it all.

Let's face it. Jealousy and envy are the two most horrible emotions and sins. They lead to every other evil

 

[Josey]

I wonder? These firearms could have been sold off the books as black market firearms. Convicted felons and convicted domestic abusers will give a mint for firearms. That would explain why no pawn shop tickets are forthcoming. Those firearms could be showing up in violent crimes in the near future. An example recently was a Bersa 380 that went for $400.00. The buyer was a federal ex-con. The other items might be on E-bay. I am still looking for my uncles police badge.

 

[Wedge]

jsalcedo, sorry to hear about your loss. Unfortunately not everyone has a very generous nature and greed can make people do some crazy things. Before I met my wife, her great aunt died and splitting up her possessions nearly tore her family apart...it wasn't even over expensive stuff it was over a couple of $80 book cases and maybe a $500 corner bookshelf/curio cabinet.

I have already decided that I don't want anything when my grandparents finally leave. Out of all their kids and grandkids only my uncle and myself can legally take possession of their handguns (New York state). I'll just leave things up to my uncle to make the decision; if he wants to keep all the handguns or give/sell me one. I don't want to get into a fight over anything...

 

[Stealth101]

jsalcedo.........
Sorry you had to see this!
The same thing happened to me.....two of my brothers put my Dad in a nursing home ...seized his house and sold it! All the contents they took and squandered including my Dads gun collection..
Some thirty pieces I reckon.....I would have liked one, to remember him by. However myself and another brother, found out what they were up to too late. My Dad died a short time later of a broken heart. It is something I can never forget ! The hardest part of it all , was going to my Dads funeral and being around those two brothers ....it was everything I could do to keep from beatin the tar out them for my Dad !
Stealth101

 

[Weimadog]

Sorry to hear it, jsalcedo


After my grandfather's funeral, my parents and three brothers went to his house to divide up his belongings. The will left the whole estate to my father, who then would give the stuff to whoever he felt like giving it to. He let us choose stuff.

It was about three hours of

"You want this?"
"Sure nobody wants this?"
"If you want this, be sure to let me know."

I knew it was an opportunity for the worst to come out, but it didn't. We are fortunate.

Grandpa had a Japanese rifle which my father would dis-assemble and assemble over and over again in his youth. I wish we could have found it, we checked the rafters, everywhere. We didn't know what happened to it. The lesson in that is to make a list of the valuable stuff.

There were not many guns, and one of them was a .25 Baretta. What an unusual gun to keep around.

I plan to give my guns away before I die. (That is, only after I try to wear them out by putting ammo through them!

 

[Neal Bloom]

Sorry to hear about your loss. Brought back memories of when my granparents died and watching the hyenas and vulture come in. Close and distant relatives drove up to the house and tried to take belongings. My father and uncles had a difficult time keeping things together. Even now, 35 years later, people are stil fighting over certain items such as jewlery and lever action rifles. Truly a sad display of human nature and the stench of vultures doesn't help it much. Again, sorry for your loss and I hope everything works out for the better.

 

[larry_minn]

Sorry to heat that and I know I will be dealing with similar situation in few years. I had a relative who in his last years had his kids over for Xmas and they could pick out one thing they wanted. HE gave it to them right then. Then for B-day/etc he did same. They knew if they got greedy he would be dissapointed in them so things were kept fairly even.
Other ones I have wanted to pound the crap out of the family members who stole stuff. I didnt' have a cent due me in any way/shape or form. MY dad and I had known him for years and helped him get around/deal with problems for years when his (family) wouldn't talk to him. His brother died and they stole everything before he even was told he died. Then when this salt of earth gent got killed in strange situation they had cleaned him out within hours of his body being found. (Must have had car gased up ready to go with trailer behind) He had a few things I wouldn't have minded having but I wouldn't think of asking the scum for it. Course I shed no tears when the (leader) of this pack of dogs passed away a few months later. IMO he is lucky if he went to Hell. Otherwise Charlie likely would pound him daily.

 

[jsalcedo]

Thanks for all the replies.

It seems I'm not alone in this hurtful turn of events.


I don't give a rats patouie about posessions big or small. I am upset about the behaviour of my relatives and squandering of my heritage.


I figured of all the family I was going to end up the patriarch because of the lack of strong male role models. I hoped I could set an example of proper conduct and etiquite.

I was sorely disappointed.

 

[redneck2]

Usually...

people like this are totally about themselves, and do things like this knowing it hurts other people. Kinda like the idiots that make computer viruses. Some how, they have to "get even" with everyone else.

Fact is, they are petty individuals that hate everyone including themselves.

If there's any satisfaction, it's in the fact that the money they get will be gone in days or weeks....

but they they'll be ___holes forever

 

[Wedge]

jsalcedo, I knew you weren't concerned about the possessions you were upset about the behavior.

Bugs me to think about it. I just know that I don't bark loud enough so I am going to have to rely on my uncles...and hope that they have a heart.

 

[Kentucky Rifle]

All those years ago...

..right before my GrandDaddy died, he TOLD me that I could have the gold clock he'd won with his side by side 12ga. It was shaped like a carriage of old with a clock in the middle. I would have cherished it. My father was to get the 12ga. Numerous revolvers were involved too. When Granddaddy died, sorrowfully Dad and I went to the house to pick up the clock and shotgun. They were gone!!!! A "cousin" (the same age as me) had beat-feet to the old house instead of going to the funeral and CLEANED it out. My temper meter immediately pegged at the "Kick A$$" point. However, my much cooler headed father just said, "Let it go. He'll get his in the end". The "cousin" died a couple of years ago-horribly-with unstoppable bladder cancer. It just went EVERYWHERE! Bad karma?~~Reap what you sow? I have no idea. However, I still wasn't happy to see the SOB go that way. I NEVER take pleasure from the misfortune of another man. (And CERTAINLY not that cancer crapola.) As a "survivor" myself, I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

KR

 

[standingbear]

its about greed

well..when my wifes gma passed away..her parents offered us the house for what gma paid- to buy.we agreed cause its in a nicer neighborhood and my sons school is located directly across the way.We got everything boxed up for the move and applied for a loan till our home could be sold.meanwhile..they told us 4 weeks later that they decided to sell it to someone else because they were offered 15k more dollars-has made for some bad blood between us...ive known of a friend- who had lost his best friend to cancer.he was promised his gun back by his friend that he gave as a gift.his wife told him that she had sold it when he mentioned it a week later telling him.."I got 150 bucks for that old gun that weekend".it had alot of sentimental value to him even if his best friends' wife valued it as a mere 150 bucks.

 

[geekWithA.45]

All kinds of wierd crap comes out @ funerals

Even in the most level headed of families.

True story: my wife had power of attorney when her grandmother was alive, and I was the executor of the will.

When she took ill for the final time, we saw the family jackals coming, and moved all the valuables to a safe place.

They broke into her house, stole a long list of stuff, (piggy banks with maybe $50 in it, fer crying out loud!) and called the police on my wife for moving the truly valuable items, accusing her of theft.

Fortunately, the local cops knew them, as they had been at their place on many occassions, so the conversation with the cops went like this:

Police: "Ms. X? Did you removed {list of stuff} from {address}?"
Wife: "Yep, to prevent {jackals} from stealing it. I have power of attorney.
Police: "So, you didn't steal it, right?"
Wife: "Correct"
Police: "Okeedokee."

 

[John Ross]

Interesting thread.

My widowed mother is in her late 80s, and when my sisters were in town, she would occasionally say something to us like "when I'm gone, you can have..." and she'd say something about us fighting over her stuff.

My sisters (they're mid-50s) and I always found this annoying and dismissed her comments or immediately changed the subject.

Two years ago in the summer she said something like this again, but this time I dropped the hammer:

"Mom, the three of us are all grown adults. Our houses all have nice furniture, china, Oriental rugs, and other furnishings. We don't have *room* for all your stuff, and we all already own sterling silver that you gave us as wedding presents.

"You acquired all your fine furnishings over the years by going to big estate auctions, and that's where almost everything you have is going to end up, to be treasured for the next few decades by a bunch of new people with your love of antiques and hand craftsmanship."

I saw my sisters nodding, so I went on:

"The only thing I can think of that I'd like is the painting your brother did for the Shadow cover, but if either of my sisters wants it more, I won't argue. I already have one of his paintings, and they don't." (My uncle did pulp magazine art in NYC in the 1930s)

One sister said "The only thing I'd like is___" and here she named some piece of furniture, a sideboard, I think. My other sister mentioned a favorite chair she said she'd liked ever since she was a child.

"The only other thing we'd want are all the family photos, but I don't care who ends up with them because I can get them all scanned and have copies on disk for anyone."

Mom asked "We've got an awful lot of photos and slides, wouldn't that be expensive?"

"Couple thousand dollars tops. So quit acting like we're going to be at each other's throats over your stuff. We aren't."

Mom never mentioned her possessions again.

Six months later, at Christmas, around the tree were the painting, the sideboard, and the chair, all with red ribbons around them, and an envelope for me with $2500 in it and a note to put all the pictures and slides on disk and make copies for all our relatives.

JR

 

[P95Carry]

I've already posted once .. and doubt my disgust could get any worse ..... but, hearing all these other similar tales really does make you realise how many slimeballs there are. It's appalling. As for Stealth101 .....

Man, those two brothers of yours are unbelievable .. I am at a loss to understand how you have managed to deal with that ..... tho very likely (as would be with me) bitterness is eating a hole in your gut every day.

I am as guilty as anyone of likeing a ''free lunch'' ..... aquisition of things with minimal outgoing ... always nice ... BUT ... and here is where we get the split into two camps ....

One side of the fence is the total greed, avaricious person who cares not who is hurt and how much. The other side .. my side ..... cares deeply about not hurting others .... so anything ''free'' has to be with no strings and no harm done ....... guess it's that old deal of .. ''I want to sleep nights'' ....... called conscience..... respect for others ... honor etc .. all words that seem to not exist for some.

Sorry .. it's a rant subject.

 

[P95Carry]

Six months later, at Christmas, around the tree were the painting, the sideboard, and the chair, all with red ribbons around them, and an envelope for me with $2500 in it and a note to put all the pictures and slides on disk and make copies for all our relatives.

John .... that really reached me ..... what a wonderful woman.

 

[Monkeyleg]

Coming back again to this topic, I've seen a lot of really disgusting behavior in my extended family. My aunt was on her deathbed, and one of her sons got hold of the checkbook and bought himself a new car, then grabbed whatever else he could from the house before she even was dead. I never liked that cousin, and this only affirms my dislike. My aunt had a German SS dress dagger that her husband had taken off an officer in WWII. I'd always wanted it, and would have paid the family for it, but it probably wound up in a pawnshop somewhere.

 

[Autolite]

Sorry for your loss ...

But try not to let the behavior of your relatives get you down. As you can see in all the previous posts, this type of thing is not uncommon. I would even go as far to say that, for most families, this is the norm. I have seen this type of thing in my own family due to the deaths of my grandparents. It is a truely a sad state of affairs but it's human nature. I've ostracized my own family many years ago. I did this for many reasons, but having to deal with my degenerate siblings after the deaths of my parents was one of them ...

 

[Valkman]

When my mom died in '97 I found out how bad my family could be. The demands and fighting were bad enough, but then lawyers got involved and finally one sister had charges filed against another - I'll have nothing to do with any of them. I live in another state now and don't miss one of them - and that's not the way it should be.

 

[Stealth101]

P95Carry...........

Thanks...... I have managed to deal with it , but I carry it with me always.
I feel more for my Dad who was betrayed by his own sons......