I wonder if it is the skill level of the users of 357 magnum and the 45 acp that is the deciding factor, for the most part.
The 45 ACP and it's generally preferred platform (1911), usually is found in the hands of the elite (with qualifications) and the mantra is practice, practice, practice. You also have the advanced practical users who are willing to spend the time in becoming proficient, instead of coffee with the buddies, they are at the range.
The 357 Magnum is often an option for those who want to carry them (notice I said want). The 357 magnum when firing the featured 125 grain load is not exactly tame. It bellows, spits out a fair sized fire ball and gives you a fair amount of recoil. You have to be serious in your practice to master this combination (4 inch or less barreled revolver) and firing it without muffs or plugs can be unpleasent, though in an actual encounter, you probably won't hear it. (audio exclusion)
As far as bullet design, weight and velocity, these are undeniably factors, but they are a combination and to try and quantify them individualy take's away from the whole.
It really comes down to placement, placement, placement.
So is one better than the other? Beats me
I am quite happy with a S&W 686 or my 1911 and know both will do the job, provided I do mine.