Wife should talk with husband about fear of guns

[Drizzt]

Wife should talk with husband about fear of guns

By DR. JOYCE BROTHERS
SYNDICATED COLUMNIST

DEAR DR. BROTHERS: I recently moved to a new area of the country, in which it is very common for households to have a rifle or handgun for hunting or personal protection. I have never had any exposure to weapons at all and have always been very frightened of them. Yet around here, children are routinely taught to hunt, with a healthy respect for but no fear of guns. Anyway, my husband brought one home after I reluctantly agreed (we do have a problem with predatory wild animals at our new farm), but I find myself being very nervous about just having it. I would never want to use it. Is this strong a reaction normal? -- D.K.

DEAR D.K.: I would say that it is quite normal and even smart to be afraid of any dangerous weapon that could kill you or a member of your family. It could even make for a very unpleasant situation should the victim be a predator in your yard and you have to see it dispatched. There is almost no upside to having a gun if you aren't a gun lover, and you shouldn't have to live with this creepy feeling indefinitely.

That said, I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss all this. He needs to be able to tell you how he feels about having -- and possibly using -- the gun. Did he buy the gun mainly to minimize discord in the new neighborhood -- in other words, to fit in? Does he have any background or training in gun use and gun safety? Was he ever in the military? And do you agree that you really need it? If so, take some lessons and do some skeet shooting so that you can gain some mastery and lessen your fears. Keep the gun locked up, of course, and keep that fear at a healthy level. After all, they are deadly. If you still feel terrified after taking these steps, I suggest that you surrender your weapon.

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/brothers/256854_joyce131.html

:banghead:

 

[Mulliga]

Ah, nothing like hoplophobia. The advice is decent, I suppose, but that part at the end kinda bugs me - as if it were her gun to surrender.

 

[brufener]

DEAR D.K.: I would say that it is quite normal and even smart to be afraid of any dangerous weapon that could kill you or a member of your family.

My car can be used as a dangerous weapon that could kill me, am I smart to be afraid of my car? A better answer would be to state that you should be aware of and careful around a tool that has the power to kill you.

On a different note, I don't know that we should be afraid of anything. I believe that fear comes from being unprepared to meet a situation, and thus feeling inadequate/helpless. I would prefer that my home stay criminal-free, but I am not afraid of having a criminal break in. I have taken the necessary steps to prepare for such an occurence.

It could even make for a very unpleasant situation should the victim be a predator in your yard and you have to see it dispatched.

Wasn't this the whole reason why the gun was purchased? Wouldn't it be more "unpleasant" if the predator was two-legged and dispatched you? Sure it would be much more pleasant to never kill a predator, but who can guarantee that the need will not arise?

There is almost no upside to having a gun if you aren't a gun lover,

See above discussion about predators. IMO, protection from predators is the primary reason to have a gun, and is certainly an "upside."

[/QUOTE]
That said, I think you need to sit down with your husband and discuss all this. He needs to be able to tell you how he feels about having -- and possibly using -- the gun. Did he buy the gun mainly to minimize discord in the new neighborhood -- in other words, to fit in? Does he have any background or training in gun use and gun safety? Was he ever in the military? And do you agree that you really need it? If so, take some lessons and do some skeet shooting so that you can gain some mastery and lessen your fears. Keep the gun locked up, of course, and keep that fear at a healthy level. After all, they are deadly. If you still feel terrified after taking these steps, I suggest that you surrender your weapon.[/QUOTE]
The rest of this wasn't too bad - if someone is terrified if a gun after taking safety courses they probably shouldn't have a gun.

All in all, this was a poor response by a "professional." The fact that she missed/ignored the main reason for having a gun (to dispatch predators) is inexcusable. Sounds like another newspaper writer marching on to the "guns are bad" drum.

 

[Polishrifleman]

They must farm organic mushrooms, you know the kind that you feed @#$* and keep in the dark.

I don't know a farmer that doesn't have a gun of some type. They must have migrated out of the city to live a life of luxury in a safe community where everyone respects each other and understands that a gun is a tool used to protect oneself and ones property. Maybe she should ask her neighbors and not some city thought provoker about the benefits and costs of having a gun around.

I think this gal is in for a rude awakening and that communication is key with her husband. Farmining of any type is not for the faint of heart, especially if you actually farm and don't just pretend.

 

[Justin]

Joyce Brothers?!

Whoa. Who let her out of the 1980's?

 

[Remington788]

households to have a rifle or handgun

do some skeet shooting

Skeet shooting with a rifle or handgun, now that I gotta see.

 

[Sunray]

The woman should talk to a real shrink about her fear of inanimate objects.
Seems to me Joyce Brothers was involved in the $64,000 Question scandal in the 50's.

 

[Missashot]

Oh no NOT those evil guns AGAIN! I guess This woman could just throw rocks at whatever predators are on her farm. :banghead:

 

[SomeKid]

DEAR D.K.: I would say that it is quite normal and even smart to be afraid

Only slaves should fear. The woman is doing her part to train the people of America to be good slaves.

 

[Justin]

If so, they should really pick better spokespeople. Joyce Brothers hasn't been relevant since she became the answer to one of the questions in "Trivial Pursuit: The 1980's."

 

[cambeul41]

Dr. Laura the pistol packer

Dr. Laura tells her listeners she’s decided to pack a gun (February 12, 2000)

http://www.backwoodshome.com/columns/duffy000212.html


Backwoods Home also has a regular Massad Ayoob column.

 

[MD_Willington]

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/brothers/256854_joyce131.html


They have a farm?... bet they saw an add on TV for Alpacas etc..

They need to move back to the city where they can live blissfully ignorant while sipping Latte's and discussing pressing social issues like gun control


Just this weekend I was in the back yard with my son, my neighbour has livestock next door. A black chow without tags was pressing it's luck trying to get to the chickens and goats...

My son asked me what the dog was trying to do, I replied "Trying to get himself shot"...

As Capt. Spaulding put it "Ya'll think us folk from the country's real funny-like, dontcha?"

City folk

 

[chas_martel]

"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity"- Sigmund Freud

I bet the husband is the one that needs to talk to the wife, poor guy.

 

[migoi]

I wonder which would be more traumatic...

seeing a predator get dispatched by the family firearm or seeing a family member dispatched by a predator because the family firearm was "surrendered".

migoi- willing to make prisoners in my personal lockup of any firearms surrendering.

 

[CAS700850]

You know, in many situations, fear is bred out of ignorance. The wife is, admittedly, ignorant about firearms. Education would likely prove more useful than continued ignorance. A class or two from someone like Pax would either cure the fear, or at least minimize it.

 

[stevelyn]

Another degreed psycho-babbler using her degree and name recognition to mislead the masses dumb enough to pay attention to her.

 

[Sistema1927]

There is almost no upside to having a gun if you aren't a gun lover, and you shouldn't have to live with this creepy feeling indefinitely.

Huh?

The "upside" might just be that one use of that weapon will allow you to live, even with a "creepy feeling", when the alternative is death. Or, it may allow you to avoid altogether the "creepy feeling" that you experience after being raped, beaten, or have a multitude of other crimes performed against your person.

 

[Husker1911]

Of course this woman doesn't have a padlock on her kitchen drawer containing sharp kitchen knives. Gee, aren't these dangerous implements that could cause her or her family great bodily harm? I'm only exaggerating a little, here.

 

[Peet]

Why do I think:

Green acres is the place for me.
Farm livin' is the life for me.
Land spreadin' out so far and wide
Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside.

New York is where I'd rather stay.
I get allergic smelling hay.
I just adore a penthouse view.
Dah-ling I love you but give me Park Avenue.

O.K. I'll go back to my corner now...

P.

 

[Kim]

I thought of Green Acres immediately also. Joyce Brothers is a product of liberal education. Plus she probably has never seen real cow S*&t.

 

[Standing Wolf]

Keep the gun locked up, of course, and keep that fear at a healthy level. After all, they are deadly.

People who believe inanimate objects have psychological qualities need to consult psychologists.

 

[mack]

Interesting that a so called professional would suggest giving in to ones' fears rather than confronting them and mastering them by facing them.

Freedom from fear comes not from removing things from ones' environment but from confronting our own irrational beliefs.

What a sorry story.

 

[Roadkill]

I live out in the woods. Its hilarious when the city folks move out here and get a "mini farm" so they can raise their kids with nature. Especially when they pull the Noah's Ark thing and get two of everything. Then the feral dogs, cats, coyotes, fox, bobcats, and never got out of the depression era folks' kids start eating them all up. If they can catch it they will eat it. They have called me and asked "What happened to our $200 peacock ?" Something ate it. Feathers everywhere, dragged it out in the pasture, killed it, then ate the whole thing. "Why?" Cause it was hungry. "How can we stop it?" Get a gun and shoot it. "A what?? Oh God no. We'd never have one of those. Can you do it?" Nope. You can borrow one of mine though.
That generally ends the conversation, they either flip over, get a shotgun, and live with nature or move back to town. Wish I had a dollar for every declawed housecat that was put out at night that was never seen again. Nothing but a meal on wheels to a coyote.

 

[Zen21Tao]

Dr. Joyce Brothers is an Idiot...

It could even make for a very unpleasant situation should the victim be a predator in your yard and you have to see it dispatched.

A "predator" (whether four legged of two legged) seaking to prey on one's family is NOT a victim. I am so tired of this liberal "poor injured criminal" mentality. Perhaps Dr. J thinks that the predator should be reasoned with over some smores while singing "koom bah yah". Personally I support a double tap to the cranium to put an end to the threat.

There is almost no upside to having a gun if you aren't a gun lover

So all of a sudden a person has to be a "gun lover" in order to have a gun to defend their life or the life of their children. Let's try a little thought experiment. Put a liberal in a locked room with a machine designed to kill their children. They can prevent this by destroying the machine (which can only be done with a firearm). Give them the option of using a gun to save their family. see just how many are willing to sacrafice their children because they don't like guns. Also, would there be an "upside" to someone that doesn't like guns using one to save their family?

 

[Hardtarget]

That "creepy feeling" is one signal that you're alive. Dead doesn't feel anything thats part of this world. That creepy...hair standing up on my neck...is what puts my hand on a weapon.
Mark.