Wife wants guns gone; Alternative storage solutions?

[zdc1775]

I had a similar problem while the wife and I were engaged. I have always been a shooter and hunter, she is British and so is her mother. Her father was military and never had much interest in guns due to wanting to be different from his father who was a hunter, shooter, and volunteer police officer in our town before the department was formed. So she had no exposure to firearms until they moved back when she was about 13. We started dating when she was 16 and at that point had never even held a firearm. She went a shot with her grandfather once after I had enlisted, she was proud but expressed no interest beyond curiosity and mild fear. She wanted no guns in the house when we married. I complied but began educating her though having her read articles involving firearms used for defense. Shortly after starting this she admitted to me she would prefer to have a gun in the house for defense as long as it was locked up and unloaded. I again complied, and now began teaching her how to handle it and showing her how to operate the lock box and load it. After a short time she conceded that locked and unloaded was basically useless and had me load it but leave it locked. She then began shooting with me though not regularly. She then became more comfortable with shooting and began going more regularly and began to become more proficient and expressed wanting me to begin carrying while we were out for protection. She has now progressed, in about three years, to the point that this year she told me she wanted her own gun and to get her permit when she turns 21. She even showed me the gun she wanted and told me to buy that for her birthday. She was completely shocked when I brought it home last week and was extremely excited. She will be getting her permit this November.
I know this is an extremely long post but I have been through what the OP is going through and I believe this might be helpful for him. Best of luck to you hopefully your wife will become more comfortable with firearms, and may become one of your frequent range companions; just don’t try and push or show your manliness in this issue.

 

[browneu]

Getting rid of the guns isn't an absolute guarantee that there won't be a gun related incident in the house. Someone could break in with a firearm and use it to rob or do something worse.

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[wacki]

If you can't figure out a good solution on your own go see a psychologist together.

 

[El Mariachi]

Yeah, that 100 yard range is 500 feet behind the one where the kids were----we had heard maybe 25-30 big rounds going off from up there, then suddenly it stopped. One of our group then pointed out a rather large cloud of dust from a moving vehicle (can't see the actual road up to that long range) and then a few minutes later one of the church gals said there's smoke up in the hills. Chopper swung by within 25 minutes, then three separate planes showed up and made about 10 drops of retardant. Gave some of the younger folks a bit of scare, but luckily we didn't have to evac and kill the day......

 

[btg3]

This sounds to me more like a control issue than a gun issue. In other words, if she wasn't whining about the guns, it would be something else.

...always a possibilty, but given the years the OP has been with his wife, I think he'd realize it.

I vote for locking them up in a Security Cabinet at home. An 8-gun steel cabinet can be had for about $100. (I don't think a safe would impress his wife any more than a cabinet and the expense may fuel the argument rather than diminish it.)

Also consider insisting that the wife back her car into the driveway. Just in case it might lurch out of control, it should never be pointed in an unsafe direction.

 

[coloradokevin]

Okay... looks like my post from ten minutes ago was deleted... not sure why. By my estimation it wasn't inflammatory in the least.

To keep this one short and sweet:

If you aren't interested in finding an alternative storage solution for your wife, and you aren't interested in getting rid of your guns, then I'd suggest you try to introduce your wife to shooting. Can you try enrolling her in a shooting class? Can you take her shooting? Can you introduce her to other women who shoot? Can you find a marriage counselor without an anti-gun bias (not necessarily a pro-gun bias either)?

To me, the fear of guns is largely an irrational one. With that logic in mind, forcing you to find an alternative storage solution for your guns is about like you asking her to store everything related to one of her hobbies in a storage unit. Of course, I grew up around guns, and haven't had the issue you do, where you are trying to introduce guns into a relationship for the first time.


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[pazz]

the guns have remained in the closet

Think there's the problem right there. Get a heavy and quality gun safe. Something with a keypad so, it will be impossible for anyone who shouldn't touch them to get a hold of them.

 

[Oceanbob]

Long ago my Wife said..."It's either me or the guns"....And I'll tell you..when I at my shooting range having a good time....I miss her sometimes.

 

[Atom Smasher]

What are the optimal gun storage conditions in terms of temperature and humidity? You want a room-temp, dry place right?

 

[Strykervet]

Wow. My wife went the other way. She didn't like the fact that I wanted to store that Beretta pistol at her apt. when we started dating (I bought it and lived on post --didn't want to go through the hassle of registering it and keeping it in the arms room). She had the same irrational fear. In order to smooth that over, what I did was to remove components so that it wouldn't function. I showed her this. Then I took the parts with me to the barracks.

Now, years later, she will go shooting with me, has her own carry permit and her own Glock, and she doesn't worry much about the weapons. She isn't too keen on my spending, but when she found out we could get NFA items, she went with me to get a trust! Wants a suppressed MKIII! We keep 'em locked up and we have a wicked alarm system, and I suspect that helps. She also trusts me explicitly when it comes to firearms. Well, she trusts me in general, and that really helps a marriage, period.

For us, it was just ignorance fueling her fears. She'd never really used a firearm other than shooting with her dad when she was a kid. Were it not for that though, I bet it would have been more difficult to convince her. If that is your problem, then that is easy to overcome. Knowledge bests ignorance in those that hear it. If it is a power trip, well, like was said above, you have bigger problems than just the firearms.

If that is the case, seriously, I know it sounds rash, but getting rid of the wife may be the best thing. Especially if you've noticed a pattern of control. My buddy married the wrong girl and he had to drop her. Just didn't work out, too controlling. Wouldn't let him hang out with me --we were roomies, team mates, all the above, in the army. Funny thing is, when she said "him or me" he said bye. It was the best thing he could have done. A few years later, he met this other lady. They dated for a few years, and they just got married three weekends ago --I was the best man there too.

He has his best buddy, I mine, we both have our wives, our firearms, our hobbies, etc. It all works out in the end I guess.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Having my wife be uncomfortable with guns I don't feel is an indication that she is too "controlling". People are blowing this so far out of proportion it's actually a little entertaining. Quite literally, she is in no way telling me I can't own a firearm, use a firearm, be excited about firearms. She is just uncomfortable being around them, which some have said may be due to unfamiliarity. I'd be surprised what kind of relationships some of the people who have suggested I DIVORCE MY WIFE over keeping a gun in the house.

Now if this was just one thing on a laundry list of other controlling BS, maybe you guys would have a point. Am I really in a minority to think that getting rid of my wife is a little extreme? Everybody likes to send some rounds downrange, but come on now. I'm disappointed in you all.

 

[Mike1234567]

Storage Conditions:

More important than anything is low "consistent" humidity and moderate "consistent" temperatures. Excessive variation in temperature is really bad especially if overly humid too. If you have wood stocks then you'll need "some" humidity... maybe 20-30 percent? Here in south TX in the summer I'd try to keep the temp no higher than 80-90 degrees. In winter maybe 60-70 degrees. And humidity 20-30 percent. Again... keeping all climactic conditions as "stable" as is practicable.

 

[Mike1234567]

Gentlemen, may I humbly suggest you use verbiage such as "lack of exposure to" in lieu of "ignorance of" when referring to your wife's previous knowledge of firearms. Ladies are funny about being called ignorant.

ETA: Atom, you surely aren't disappointed in "all" of us, are you?

 

[Gasitman]

This reminds me of a girlfriend I had for a short period of time. She was a dem and me a republican. Not a big issue. We had intelligent discussions on matters, tried to see each other point of view. When it came to guns, that is where intelligent went out the window. One day, while sleeping she saw my lock box under the bed, asked what it was, I told her and she said I had to get rid of it. I looked at her and said no, what happens if someone breaks and and wants to rape you. She actually had the gall to say sh would rather get raped than for me to kill another human being.

We broke up a week later, we fought for the entire week over my guns. I realize being married is different, but first it is guns, what is next, football? The color of your socks. It is all about control.

 

[Mike1234567]

It never ceases to amaze me that so many people post without reading the thread, LOL!!

 

[Sam1911]

31 posts out of 121 total deleted in an effort to keep this appropriate, polite, helpful, and non-misogynistic.

Too much effort for too little value.

If "grow a pair" or "ditch the wife" or "1-800-DEVOICE" is something you feel is an appropriate response to the OP's very specific and thoughtful question, perhaps you're really not in-tune with the whole The High Road thing.