Mid Divorce. . . Wife Took Guns!
- Thread starter liberty911
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Get an attorney immediately if you don't have one. Listen carefully to every thing they tell you to do. I'm in agreement that $1500 worth of guns is not worth losing your rights. If she claims you have put her in fear of harm or death she can easily lie her way into a restraining order against you. Back off now, swallow your pride, and be prepared to put up with a lot of crap before this is over. If she gets that t.r.o. it will haunt you throughout the divorce prodeedings and maybe for life if you put yourself into a position where you end up charged with domestic violence. Entering her house is inviting trouble of the worst kind. Stay far away until this is over and if you have contact with her make sure you have a witness with you. If she comes to you, call a friend or neighbor immediately to witness what transpires. Women definitely have the advantage and she can make your life a thousand times worse than it is now if she plays the game right. Good luck!
Sam
Member
Cheap lesson in life.
Write the guns off.
Finish your move the shall issue state of your choice and have no contact with her other than through YOUR attorney.
Sorry you got bit,
Best wishes on your new life.
Sam
Write the guns off.
Finish your move the shall issue state of your choice and have no contact with her other than through YOUR attorney.
Sorry you got bit,
Best wishes on your new life.
Sam
Here in IL she would be in major trouble if she didn't have a FOID card. Especially with handguns.
Divorce is a nasty busness. Women win because they start the divorce and set thier husband up while the poor guy doen't even know what's going on.
Wifes accures thier husbands of fonding thier kids, beating her, and other stuff to get an edge. Men are nowhere as nastry as women can be.
-Bill
BigSlick
Member
My ex threatened to slam her face into a door frame until her face was black and blue then call the cops and tell them I beat her.
Shook me up good.
I then reminded her that her little sister had two children by a man that wasn't her husband WHILE she was married. The poor slob thinks they're his kids. I told her I would pay for the paternity suit(s) if necessary to blow her family relationships and happiness all to hell and back.
The best advice you can take is to get your own attorney, and remember these few simple things :
1 - IT'S OVER. No going back, fixing or saving the marriage - PERIOD.
2 - At this point, it is a game of cat and mouse to see who comes out with the most assets, kids etc..
3 - She is already screwing someone else. Yep, your little sweetie, has to have a shoulder to cry on, and the p**sy goes to anyone who will listen and say 'ooooh.. you poor thing'.
4 - Keep your mouth shut. Don't talk about the details, or how rotten you feel to ANYONE. Your attorney won't care if you feel bad, but he will damned sure do his best to cut another notch in his gunbelt with a win in court. That's how attorneys keep score - for most of them, it's an ego thing.
5 - If you have receipts or can prove ownership of the guns prior to marriage, send copies of it to your attorney.
6 - Don't talk to her or her attorney at all.
7 - If you have any mutual friends, just say 'yeah it's sucks... I still love her' or some such drivel, then change the subject or leave. You never know who your real friends are until times like these. If said mutual friends are a couple, the female will almost always side with her, the guy will keep his mouth shut and go along with whatever she says so he can keep getting laid. Nothing is more cancerous to ANY relationship, than having a woman telling another how bad men are. If things get really rough and they are called to testify, by that time your ex's story will almost certainly be perceived as fact by many of your so called mutual friends.
8 - Keep your dick in your pants. Don't go party, drink a few beers with the guys or date other women. A photograph of you laughing it up and having a good time will most certainly be presented in court as proof that you are a womanizer, alcoholic or were never home long enough to give your ex the 'attention' she needed to make the marriage work. You know, she always wanted to work things out, get counseling etc.. you were always out screwing around or getting drunk.
9 - Get over it. Don't look back. Any good memories you have weren't real. She was a bit*h then too, you were just too blinded by the nookie to see it.
10 - Get the hell off of the public forums. Anything you post (even joking) will be presented to a judge (or jury) whom most likely doesn't understand or find gun humor funny.
In short - shut up, lay low and get an attorney.
It's time to get in the game man, no avoiding it.
Rely on every instinct of self-preservation and survival that you have in you.
You are being hunted, by someone with vengence. The attorney has personal gain at stake and your ex has already sunk a pick axe in your chest. Trust the fact that yes, even your little snookums is trying to destroy you. Why doesn't matter, you have taken the first hit - don't take another.
Knowing full well you are now a target, what does your gut tell you to do ?
Play the game and don't give up any advantage. There are no winners in divorce, but someone will come out ahead.
Screw the guns, walk the line and take any advantage you can find. Don't provide the opportunity for them to get an advantage on you.
Good luck with it. It sucks for sure, but two years from now you will have a new wench, a couple of new toys and NONE of the headache afforded you now.
My heart goes out to you my friend.
BigSlick
Shook me up good.
I then reminded her that her little sister had two children by a man that wasn't her husband WHILE she was married. The poor slob thinks they're his kids. I told her I would pay for the paternity suit(s) if necessary to blow her family relationships and happiness all to hell and back.
The best advice you can take is to get your own attorney, and remember these few simple things :
1 - IT'S OVER. No going back, fixing or saving the marriage - PERIOD.
2 - At this point, it is a game of cat and mouse to see who comes out with the most assets, kids etc..
3 - She is already screwing someone else. Yep, your little sweetie, has to have a shoulder to cry on, and the p**sy goes to anyone who will listen and say 'ooooh.. you poor thing'.
4 - Keep your mouth shut. Don't talk about the details, or how rotten you feel to ANYONE. Your attorney won't care if you feel bad, but he will damned sure do his best to cut another notch in his gunbelt with a win in court. That's how attorneys keep score - for most of them, it's an ego thing.
5 - If you have receipts or can prove ownership of the guns prior to marriage, send copies of it to your attorney.
6 - Don't talk to her or her attorney at all.
7 - If you have any mutual friends, just say 'yeah it's sucks... I still love her' or some such drivel, then change the subject or leave. You never know who your real friends are until times like these. If said mutual friends are a couple, the female will almost always side with her, the guy will keep his mouth shut and go along with whatever she says so he can keep getting laid. Nothing is more cancerous to ANY relationship, than having a woman telling another how bad men are. If things get really rough and they are called to testify, by that time your ex's story will almost certainly be perceived as fact by many of your so called mutual friends.
8 - Keep your dick in your pants. Don't go party, drink a few beers with the guys or date other women. A photograph of you laughing it up and having a good time will most certainly be presented in court as proof that you are a womanizer, alcoholic or were never home long enough to give your ex the 'attention' she needed to make the marriage work. You know, she always wanted to work things out, get counseling etc.. you were always out screwing around or getting drunk.
9 - Get over it. Don't look back. Any good memories you have weren't real. She was a bit*h then too, you were just too blinded by the nookie to see it.
10 - Get the hell off of the public forums. Anything you post (even joking) will be presented to a judge (or jury) whom most likely doesn't understand or find gun humor funny.
In short - shut up, lay low and get an attorney.
It's time to get in the game man, no avoiding it.
Rely on every instinct of self-preservation and survival that you have in you.
You are being hunted, by someone with vengence. The attorney has personal gain at stake and your ex has already sunk a pick axe in your chest. Trust the fact that yes, even your little snookums is trying to destroy you. Why doesn't matter, you have taken the first hit - don't take another.
Knowing full well you are now a target, what does your gut tell you to do ?
Play the game and don't give up any advantage. There are no winners in divorce, but someone will come out ahead.
Screw the guns, walk the line and take any advantage you can find. Don't provide the opportunity for them to get an advantage on you.
Good luck with it. It sucks for sure, but two years from now you will have a new wench, a couple of new toys and NONE of the headache afforded you now.
My heart goes out to you my friend.
BigSlick
one45auto
Member
Amen, BigSlick!
Truer words were never spoken.
Truer words were never spoken.
2nd Amendment
member
BigSlick has it nailed. Typed what I was going to say.
When I got divorced I spent some time trying to fix things, while waiting for her to file. When I finally knew she was actually going to do it I filed first, hit her with a restraining order, changed the locks and called the cops the first time she even drove by the house. Once things were filed and the restraining order up and running she couldn't even get her things. When she tried I buried her in court.
In the end I walked away with everything but the kid. This happened because I played the game the way the woman usually plays it. Why let her have the house or cars while I slept on a couch? I paid for it all and she was the one that wanted to break the contract. Men have a problem: They don't know when to let go. When it's over it's over and the meanest SOB is going to win. And, like it or not, winning is what it's all about.
Oh, note: Even if you win go ahead and pay any credit card debts the two of you have outstanding. Even if you prove they are her debts and the court says the bills are her responsibility the creditors will come after you when she fails to pay. And she will fail to pay. That was the only mistake I made because I thought the court order actually meant something. It in fact doesn't mean squat where debts are concerned.
When I got divorced I spent some time trying to fix things, while waiting for her to file. When I finally knew she was actually going to do it I filed first, hit her with a restraining order, changed the locks and called the cops the first time she even drove by the house. Once things were filed and the restraining order up and running she couldn't even get her things. When she tried I buried her in court.
In the end I walked away with everything but the kid. This happened because I played the game the way the woman usually plays it. Why let her have the house or cars while I slept on a couch? I paid for it all and she was the one that wanted to break the contract. Men have a problem: They don't know when to let go. When it's over it's over and the meanest SOB is going to win. And, like it or not, winning is what it's all about.
Oh, note: Even if you win go ahead and pay any credit card debts the two of you have outstanding. Even if you prove they are her debts and the court says the bills are her responsibility the creditors will come after you when she fails to pay. And she will fail to pay. That was the only mistake I made because I thought the court order actually meant something. It in fact doesn't mean squat where debts are concerned.
Aguila Blanca
Member
Conspicuously absent from the discussion is any mention of YOUR attorney.
Time for a pre-emptive strike. She took YOUR guns. Is it safe to assume that she isn't really a shooter? Then she could only want them for one purpose -- to use them to shoot you. YOU should immediately file for a restraining order against HER, on the grounds that you fear she took YOUR guns to use them against (correction) you. Make HER give up the guns.
Basic rule ... he who files first usually wins.
Time for a pre-emptive strike. She took YOUR guns. Is it safe to assume that she isn't really a shooter? Then she could only want them for one purpose -- to use them to shoot you. YOU should immediately file for a restraining order against HER, on the grounds that you fear she took YOUR guns to use them against (correction) you. Make HER give up the guns.
Basic rule ... he who files first usually wins.
Roger that! I recently had to get a copy of my credit report for something, and I was astonished to see that I am still listed as having a mortgage on the condo my ex- and I bought. We were divorced over 20 years ago and one of the stipulations was that she got the condo, and that I was to be removed from the mortgage. Didn't happen.
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My experience:
I read and read countless tales of men having these issues with their womenfolk and never paid much attention to it. I had a solid relationship and a loving, devoted wife.
Then it happened to me too.
Before I called my attorney, before I called my bishop to come and talk sense into her, before I went to marriage counseling, I REMEMBERED THE SAGE ADVICE AND GOT RID OF THE GUNS. The day after she told me she's been making out with her new bf at work, I had my father come and haul every last firearm out of the house.
Here's the clincher. One week after the divorce I was over there. Spent the night talking/arguing, etc. I had my gun (began wearing it when the papers were final) and I left it in her room while i was in my son's room sleeping. In the morning, as I was taking my son to daycare, she called the cops and told them I was waving a gun around and threatening to kill her.
Cops came, cuffed me, and it took 30 minutes before they let me go. Of course, she only did this on the boyfriend's advice on how to get me before I walked out the door.
She told the cops nothing had really been going on, but 4 hours later she filed a protective order on me. I never saw the inside of my house again and I lost my son for 11 days. Good lawyers cost a lot of money.
My advice:
1) Write off the guns. Make it just another line item in the divorce that you can banter about between lawyers.
2) Don't talk to her or her lawyer. Get your own and pay them. Lawyers do have a purpose in this world. Use them.
3) Get rid of any other firearms or related material. Sucks, but protect yourself by getting it in writing that you turned it over to a third party.
4) Document everything. If she threatens you in anyway, PREEMPTIVE STRIKE is okay in my book. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... (or was that a whoring woman?)
5) If you have kids, fight for them. I read 2nd Amendment's post above and feel sorry for the guys. Material possessions are nothing compared to having your kids in your life throughout the years. Make that your #1 priority.
I did, and have my son more than she does.
The little tramp.
I read and read countless tales of men having these issues with their womenfolk and never paid much attention to it. I had a solid relationship and a loving, devoted wife.
Then it happened to me too.
Before I called my attorney, before I called my bishop to come and talk sense into her, before I went to marriage counseling, I REMEMBERED THE SAGE ADVICE AND GOT RID OF THE GUNS. The day after she told me she's been making out with her new bf at work, I had my father come and haul every last firearm out of the house.
Here's the clincher. One week after the divorce I was over there. Spent the night talking/arguing, etc. I had my gun (began wearing it when the papers were final) and I left it in her room while i was in my son's room sleeping. In the morning, as I was taking my son to daycare, she called the cops and told them I was waving a gun around and threatening to kill her.
Cops came, cuffed me, and it took 30 minutes before they let me go. Of course, she only did this on the boyfriend's advice on how to get me before I walked out the door.
She told the cops nothing had really been going on, but 4 hours later she filed a protective order on me. I never saw the inside of my house again and I lost my son for 11 days. Good lawyers cost a lot of money.
My advice:
1) Write off the guns. Make it just another line item in the divorce that you can banter about between lawyers.
2) Don't talk to her or her lawyer. Get your own and pay them. Lawyers do have a purpose in this world. Use them.
3) Get rid of any other firearms or related material. Sucks, but protect yourself by getting it in writing that you turned it over to a third party.
4) Document everything. If she threatens you in anyway, PREEMPTIVE STRIKE is okay in my book. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... (or was that a whoring woman?)
5) If you have kids, fight for them. I read 2nd Amendment's post above and feel sorry for the guys. Material possessions are nothing compared to having your kids in your life throughout the years. Make that your #1 priority.
I did, and have my son more than she does.
The little tramp.
OEF_VET
Member
Here's a little advice regarding divorces and attorneys:
If you're ever in a situation where you even think there is the slimmest chance your spouse is going to ask for a divorce, make a preemptive strike that will leave telling effects. Visit EVERY divorce lawyer in the area, or at a minimum all the good ones. Talk to them about a possible divorce and explain to them your situation. Now, having spoken to you and advised you on the best course of action, they are barred from talking to your spouse or advising them. It would create a serious conflict of interest. You don't have to retain the attorney, just talk to them.
If you do this, don't tell the attorney that you're thinking of leaving your spouse, tell them that you're concerned your spouse is preparing to leave you. Try to have some sort of evidence that would give you cause to feel that way. You don't need your estranged spouse going into court, telling the judge that you shopped around for an attorney with plans to cast them to the side without some way of refuting their story.
If you're ever in a situation where you even think there is the slimmest chance your spouse is going to ask for a divorce, make a preemptive strike that will leave telling effects. Visit EVERY divorce lawyer in the area, or at a minimum all the good ones. Talk to them about a possible divorce and explain to them your situation. Now, having spoken to you and advised you on the best course of action, they are barred from talking to your spouse or advising them. It would create a serious conflict of interest. You don't have to retain the attorney, just talk to them.
If you do this, don't tell the attorney that you're thinking of leaving your spouse, tell them that you're concerned your spouse is preparing to leave you. Try to have some sort of evidence that would give you cause to feel that way. You don't need your estranged spouse going into court, telling the judge that you shopped around for an attorney with plans to cast them to the side without some way of refuting their story.
dustind
Member
While the no marriage site does make some good points, it is just stupid. I could go on about what is wrong with that site and many of it's arguments, but I will just state that it is very unscientific and anecdotal. The childish "all women are evil" or childish jokes about women really show where they are coming from.
I am also amazed how few people can communicate with their partners, and how petty many people are. Whenever I witness a divorce I almost always loose respect for at least one of the persons involved. I am also amazed at how many people (men and women) are so sexist.
More people need to realize that prenuptial agreements and non standard marriage contracts are in their best interest.
I am also amazed how few people can communicate with their partners, and how petty many people are. Whenever I witness a divorce I almost always loose respect for at least one of the persons involved. I am also amazed at how many people (men and women) are so sexist.
More people need to realize that prenuptial agreements and non standard marriage contracts are in their best interest.
MaterDei
Member
Losing three guns should be the least of your worries. I'd be more concerned about losing my wife and breaking the oath I made to God when I married her.
And plane crashes are why you should never fly...
And heart disease is why you should never eat desert...
And drowning is why is should never go swimming...
And...
Oh, forget it, I'm wasting my time...
And car wrecks are why you should never get a car...
And plane crashes are why you should never fly...
And heart disease is why you should never eat desert...
And drowning is why is should never go swimming...
And...
Oh, forget it, I'm wasting my time...
stevelyn
Member
Parallax,
The contents of that website should be required reading in high school.
The contents of that website should be required reading in high school.
Bear Gulch
Member
I left a marriage in 1995 with $12.50 and my car. It was tough and I wouldn't want to do it again. But it was the best decision I have ever made.
She seems to be baiting you. They can be entered on the property division of the divorce. She is going to use tham to bargain with you. You'd probably do better financially letting her have them and buying new.
She seems to be baiting you. They can be entered on the property division of the divorce. She is going to use tham to bargain with you. You'd probably do better financially letting her have them and buying new.
bukijin
Member
I would like to re-iterate the advice to get a good lawyer asap.
As no-one has mentioned this yet I would just like to say that there is life after divorce. 2 years after my divorce was finalized I am now happy and in a great relationship again.
Good luck.
As no-one has mentioned this yet I would just like to say that there is life after divorce. 2 years after my divorce was finalized I am now happy and in a great relationship again.
Good luck.
XLMiguel
Member
My condolences on your situation. I say this only partly in jest - the reason divorce is so expensive is because it's worth it. - Get the best lawyer you can afford. Good luck.
Hi All-
Visiting every family law attorney in the county would become a mighty expensive project. They don't have casual conversations for free...that little "chat" about your wife planning on leaving you would probably cost $200.00 or so. Multiply that by the number of decent lawyers in the area and now you're talking real money.
~ Blue Jays ~
Visiting every family law attorney in the county would become a mighty expensive project. They don't have casual conversations for free...that little "chat" about your wife planning on leaving you would probably cost $200.00 or so. Multiply that by the number of decent lawyers in the area and now you're talking real money.
~ Blue Jays ~
When I separated from my ex-wife, I came over the first weekend to do house repairs while they were gone. The spare couch was missing and people called asking about the stuff for sale. I immediately quit doing repairs and loaded up all my guns and tools and left. A few weeks later I came back and picked up farm tractor while my then wife was screaming at me and throwing pieces of 2x4 at me. Obviously a big mistake, shouldn't have gone there without a friend. It could have been worse than the dents on my truck.
Once things go sour, NEVER go near your soon-to-be ex without an impartial witness or friend sitting in the car as a witness. As others have said, its not safe for you to EVER be alone with her again. Do your talking to her thru an attorney, and get a good one.
In your case, forget about your guns, unless the court gives them to you in the settlement. No harm in having your lawyer fight for them. Cut your losses and move on.
The good news is that there will be life on the other side of all this. Within 2 years most people find the emotional pain to have subsided. Don't mess up by acting crazy in the meantime. Try to get thru this by with as much dignity as possible. Remain the gentleman at all times, as much as you can.
Once things go sour, NEVER go near your soon-to-be ex without an impartial witness or friend sitting in the car as a witness. As others have said, its not safe for you to EVER be alone with her again. Do your talking to her thru an attorney, and get a good one.
In your case, forget about your guns, unless the court gives them to you in the settlement. No harm in having your lawyer fight for them. Cut your losses and move on.
The good news is that there will be life on the other side of all this. Within 2 years most people find the emotional pain to have subsided. Don't mess up by acting crazy in the meantime. Try to get thru this by with as much dignity as possible. Remain the gentleman at all times, as much as you can.
justashooter
member
nine years out of a bad one in which self delusion was a major motivating factor, life is excellent. each person in the situation has had an opportunity to show who they really are, and learn from the experience. we're pulling for you, and know that things will shake out.
forget the guns. take a guy friend with any time you have to be near her. if you have no kids, you have no reason to see her at all.
hit a few professional entertainers to figure out that there is other coochie out there, then put that stuff aside till you get over the shock.
rebuild your life, one peice at a time. it belongs to you, and can be anything you want it to be.
forget the guns. take a guy friend with any time you have to be near her. if you have no kids, you have no reason to see her at all.
hit a few professional entertainers to figure out that there is other coochie out there, then put that stuff aside till you get over the shock.
rebuild your life, one peice at a time. it belongs to you, and can be anything you want it to be.
CAS700850
Member
Hire an attorney. Discuss with the attorney. Do as the attorney suggests, not what you may have picked up here or on another board. Hope that it works out well.
Read BigSlick's post.
Then read it again.
Follow it to the letter.
Been there, done that, got that t-shirt.
Just remember, while you are slogging through all of this garbage now, the sun will shine again...really, it will.
I feel for you brother, and wish you well.
Sawdust
Then read it again.
Follow it to the letter.
Been there, done that, got that t-shirt.
Just remember, while you are slogging through all of this garbage now, the sun will shine again...really, it will.
I feel for you brother, and wish you well.
Sawdust
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