Welcome to the Howa Club!
I purchased a Howa several years ago. A 20" heavy barrel with a 4x-16x included (they don't offer
this particular model anymore), the gun weighs in around 10 lbs fully setup. Which Howa are you looking at currently? I can say that mine when I added a proper fitting cheek pad is pretty darn comfortable to shoot. Getting your head in the right spot to where you can fully rest it on the rifle helps with recoil a lot, as it adds another 5-6 pounds to the weight the rifle has to move. You mentioned that most stock's don't fit you. Depending on what your budget is, getting a different stock with some adjustment options probably wouldn't be a bad idea as a properly fitted stock helps a lot.
Second if you have only shot it from the bench, each position will have a different feel to recoil. Prone can be the worst if you do it wrong (or have a really hard kicking rifle). However if you're really in tight on the gun and it has a good recoil pad, you're giving it a solid stop to compress against which will help a lot. Shooting from the bench, you only have your shoulder to brace the gun, and not your entire body weight to help keep it from knocking your shoulder back. Sitting if constructed properly, is a very good position for heavy recoil as your whole body can literally roll with it. Lastly standing as counter intuitive as it may seem, works very to tame recoil. With a good stance and the gun pulled in tight, the majority of your body weight is there to help mitigate the recoil.